Sian ar!!! Another sunday night.... Dread going back to camp.... Life is back to the usual. NDP is over... so there will be lots of time for runs, ippt and soc.... Hate it.... No major and time consuming events coming up... time will pass slowly.... really slowly.... But then... those irritating things aside. I hope with all the free time I now have, I'll fully utilize it to really start serious work :) Cos yar.... one of my overseas trip already confirm liao... end of the year.... Gonna set me back by a little more than a thousand. Dun think I'll be able to earn so much by then... but... let it at least cover some of my expenses :)
Sian ar.... gonna sleep now le... the next moment I open my eyes it'll be the start of a new week in camp.... Another half a year to go! Must bear with it! It will be over soon! bye....
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Time for another book review again :D Haha... Been fortunate to be able to find another good book soon after I finished one. This book is "Bad Dog! a memoir of Love, Beauty and Redemption in dark places" Its written by Lin Jenson, the founding teacher of the Chico Zen Shangha, in chico, California.
When he was a boy, his father owns a farm. They rear turkeys and other animals. What I love about this book is how it gives insight into consciousness of farmers doing all the slaughtering of the poultry for our consumption. It records in great details about the feelings and the internal struggle that he felt during his first killing. The writer uses a wide range of words to portray the picture very vividly. It feels as if u are following him through the killings and also feeling the emotional struggles that he felt.
Of course, there are also other stories. I'll be sharing one from the book. Its entitled
Paths.
The paths I have in mind are nothing like sidewalks. Nor are they like the curved walkways one find in public gardens. They're not even like the Forest Service trails that twist their ways into the high mountains. The paths I mean are not designed. They just happen. In towns, such paths originate at othe point where the walker abandons the sidewalk and strikes out on her own. You find them as shortcuts etched into lawns and tracked through the weeks of empty lots. No one intends to make these paths, it just that one day someone cuts across. Then other follows. Paths like there are common in the country where that lead you from the house to trashcan or compost bin or woodpile. They are worn into he sod between the crack door and the garden plot. They connect the laundry room to the clothesline. They thread their way down through the fields to the creek. They often end at the family burial plot.
These paths are so interwoven with other living pursuits that they are an unwitting disclosure of a species' behavior. That's what makes them worth noticing. A well-worn path shows uis where we've been going and how we've been getting there. They reflect character and value. It's heartening that in this age when all our travel is directed along predetermined routes of concrete and asphalt a true path is nonetheless certain to appear where the possibility for one exists. There;s a certain temperament however that resists paths,. that resists anything random anything governed bu chance or mere opportunity. To such a temperament, a path lacks sufficient order. My son, Dru, was in the seventh grade when I received a letter from the school counselors, Mr. Stipplewaite informing me that Dru had been guilty of some unspecific infraction of the school rules. I was summoned to appear at a parent -teacher conference regarding th a matter. Its all sounded so ominous. I wondered what grave transgression on my son's part had necessitated such formal proceedings.
It turned out that Dru's crime consists of having cut across the lawn. Not only that, but he was also uncooperative, having cut across more than once, thus showings a willful disregard for school policy. How many times had he been caught cutting across? I inquired Twice. He'd been caught twice but the supposition was that he'd probably done it lots of time. I asked to see the scene of the crime. Mr. strilpplewaite was visibly annoyed by the request bit drawing on his considerable skills in mediation he humored me bu leading me to the spot. The evidence was irrefutable. I was shown a quadrangle of path worn through to the dirt. It commenced at the sidewalk where I stood with Mr. Stipplewaite and broke its was through a low cover of cypress bushes and entrenched onto the lawn and back again through some cypress bushes on the far side where it reconnected with the sidewalk. It was in every way consistent with the true nature of paths. But it was certainly not ht w work of a single culprit or even of a few. Dru couldn't have worn a path that deep all bu himself if he'd spent every spare minute of his school day doing nothing but waling back and forth across the quadrangle. this particulatr path was a popular route.
Measures were being taken, however, to stem the flow of traffic, which in this case was like trying to stem the flow of human nature. The path had been barricaded with yellow tape strung on stakes, and the bare earth had been reseeded. New shoots of grass were already springing up, but right alongside the abandoned path a fresh track was already being laid down. I could see why. At the point where the two of us stood, the sidewalk took a ninety-degree turn to the right along the face of the building. If you were going to Rooms Four through Eight, the sidewalk served the purpose just fine. But if you were going to Rooms Nine through Twelve, the sidewalk maade no sense at all. it so happened that Mr Stipplewaite and I were conducting our parent teacher conference in Room Ten, and when we got ready to go back it took all the adult restraint that I could muster to keep from cutting across the lawn myself. Mr. Stipplewaite seemed to have no such difficulty. I could see that he trusted sidewalks more than I do., Concrete is more or less permanent and it was clear to me that permanence was a article of faith with Mr. Stipplewaite. He liked things to stay put, and he feared that if you allow one thing to go astray all would go astray. It's dangerous to tolerate a disregard of rules. But the children keep cutting across the lawn. All efforts to prevent this behavior, all the taping-off and reseeding, all the threats and punishments have ultimately failed to produce a correction. Mr. Stipplewaite attributes this to laziness, or to a stubborn resistance. to authority, a willful refusal to cooperate, whereas I see it as an innate on the children's part. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Something deeper than mere surface logic responds to that simple thought. Children cut across lawns for the same reason anyone of us do. because they can't intelligently do otherwise. If in doing so they defy school authority, its because they answer to an authority greater than that of the school . It isn't something they think about. it's simply something they do.As I assured Mr. Stipplewaite that I would, I asked Dru to try using the sidewalk. U think he made an effort but, if he's anyone of mine. He's probably cutting across the lawn again.
Each of our lives is a path. To know this requires intuition and trust. If we are true to the steps we take, the travel makes sense and the journey confirms itself.
Hmm... hope you also gain some insight on your life path. Its something that happens naturally, you don't have to purposely plan what you want to achieve in life. Just go with the flow and may be lesser problems :D
K lar... This is one book that I will strongly recommend reading. If you got time go read it :D
When he was a boy, his father owns a farm. They rear turkeys and other animals. What I love about this book is how it gives insight into consciousness of farmers doing all the slaughtering of the poultry for our consumption. It records in great details about the feelings and the internal struggle that he felt during his first killing. The writer uses a wide range of words to portray the picture very vividly. It feels as if u are following him through the killings and also feeling the emotional struggles that he felt.
Of course, there are also other stories. I'll be sharing one from the book. Its entitled
Paths.
The paths I have in mind are nothing like sidewalks. Nor are they like the curved walkways one find in public gardens. They're not even like the Forest Service trails that twist their ways into the high mountains. The paths I mean are not designed. They just happen. In towns, such paths originate at othe point where the walker abandons the sidewalk and strikes out on her own. You find them as shortcuts etched into lawns and tracked through the weeks of empty lots. No one intends to make these paths, it just that one day someone cuts across. Then other follows. Paths like there are common in the country where that lead you from the house to trashcan or compost bin or woodpile. They are worn into he sod between the crack door and the garden plot. They connect the laundry room to the clothesline. They thread their way down through the fields to the creek. They often end at the family burial plot.
These paths are so interwoven with other living pursuits that they are an unwitting disclosure of a species' behavior. That's what makes them worth noticing. A well-worn path shows uis where we've been going and how we've been getting there. They reflect character and value. It's heartening that in this age when all our travel is directed along predetermined routes of concrete and asphalt a true path is nonetheless certain to appear where the possibility for one exists. There;s a certain temperament however that resists paths,. that resists anything random anything governed bu chance or mere opportunity. To such a temperament, a path lacks sufficient order. My son, Dru, was in the seventh grade when I received a letter from the school counselors, Mr. Stipplewaite informing me that Dru had been guilty of some unspecific infraction of the school rules. I was summoned to appear at a parent -teacher conference regarding th a matter. Its all sounded so ominous. I wondered what grave transgression on my son's part had necessitated such formal proceedings.
It turned out that Dru's crime consists of having cut across the lawn. Not only that, but he was also uncooperative, having cut across more than once, thus showings a willful disregard for school policy. How many times had he been caught cutting across? I inquired Twice. He'd been caught twice but the supposition was that he'd probably done it lots of time. I asked to see the scene of the crime. Mr. strilpplewaite was visibly annoyed by the request bit drawing on his considerable skills in mediation he humored me bu leading me to the spot. The evidence was irrefutable. I was shown a quadrangle of path worn through to the dirt. It commenced at the sidewalk where I stood with Mr. Stipplewaite and broke its was through a low cover of cypress bushes and entrenched onto the lawn and back again through some cypress bushes on the far side where it reconnected with the sidewalk. It was in every way consistent with the true nature of paths. But it was certainly not ht w work of a single culprit or even of a few. Dru couldn't have worn a path that deep all bu himself if he'd spent every spare minute of his school day doing nothing but waling back and forth across the quadrangle. this particulatr path was a popular route.
Measures were being taken, however, to stem the flow of traffic, which in this case was like trying to stem the flow of human nature. The path had been barricaded with yellow tape strung on stakes, and the bare earth had been reseeded. New shoots of grass were already springing up, but right alongside the abandoned path a fresh track was already being laid down. I could see why. At the point where the two of us stood, the sidewalk took a ninety-degree turn to the right along the face of the building. If you were going to Rooms Four through Eight, the sidewalk served the purpose just fine. But if you were going to Rooms Nine through Twelve, the sidewalk maade no sense at all. it so happened that Mr Stipplewaite and I were conducting our parent teacher conference in Room Ten, and when we got ready to go back it took all the adult restraint that I could muster to keep from cutting across the lawn myself. Mr. Stipplewaite seemed to have no such difficulty. I could see that he trusted sidewalks more than I do., Concrete is more or less permanent and it was clear to me that permanence was a article of faith with Mr. Stipplewaite. He liked things to stay put, and he feared that if you allow one thing to go astray all would go astray. It's dangerous to tolerate a disregard of rules. But the children keep cutting across the lawn. All efforts to prevent this behavior, all the taping-off and reseeding, all the threats and punishments have ultimately failed to produce a correction. Mr. Stipplewaite attributes this to laziness, or to a stubborn resistance. to authority, a willful refusal to cooperate, whereas I see it as an innate on the children's part. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Something deeper than mere surface logic responds to that simple thought. Children cut across lawns for the same reason anyone of us do. because they can't intelligently do otherwise. If in doing so they defy school authority, its because they answer to an authority greater than that of the school . It isn't something they think about. it's simply something they do.As I assured Mr. Stipplewaite that I would, I asked Dru to try using the sidewalk. U think he made an effort but, if he's anyone of mine. He's probably cutting across the lawn again.
Each of our lives is a path. To know this requires intuition and trust. If we are true to the steps we take, the travel makes sense and the journey confirms itself.
Hmm... hope you also gain some insight on your life path. Its something that happens naturally, you don't have to purposely plan what you want to achieve in life. Just go with the flow and may be lesser problems :D
K lar... This is one book that I will strongly recommend reading. If you got time go read it :D
Haiz... just finished watching NDP... Felt abit left out.... Maybe ppl consider me lucky that I don't need to go do NDP... but then somehow I don't feel really glad. Most of the people I know are down there doing one thing or another. But me... just stay at home watch TV... So sian...
Anyway.. just realised that I need lots of money! Haha.... There are so many things that I want. Really must start working liao.... Just to list some of the things that I want.... I wan a new computer. I also want to pay for my driving lesson. Then when I ORD I may be going for 2 overseas trip... lol... Yar... 2 overseas trip... if I dun start to increase my income... I wun be able to go for 2.... Cos maybe I going with my army frens... then my cousins also planning a trip... haha.... so yar.... muz really start work liao :P
Think the Kawaii World Summit is quite a feasible idea... Gonna work on it. Only problem is the lack of places to sell the items. I've been on a look out for places and found some potential places lar... so yar... at least can test out the market first :) So... in order to fulfill my material desires... I really have to start working harder liao :D No more slacking already. Still got half a year for me to pool that amount of money... Which is quite a big sum considering that I can't be using all of my profits to pay for the things. If I do so then my business will never expand without increment of capital. So yar... can only take at most 40% out.... so that means that I need to earn more than double the amount that I'm going to spend... Lol... That comes out to be a super huge amount... :S Haha... but I believe that I can do it! Nothing is impossible for me... lol... K lar... alot of things is impossible. But then I feel that this is not something out of my reach :D Wish me luck!
K lar... thats all for now... bye ;D
Anyway.. just realised that I need lots of money! Haha.... There are so many things that I want. Really must start working liao.... Just to list some of the things that I want.... I wan a new computer. I also want to pay for my driving lesson. Then when I ORD I may be going for 2 overseas trip... lol... Yar... 2 overseas trip... if I dun start to increase my income... I wun be able to go for 2.... Cos maybe I going with my army frens... then my cousins also planning a trip... haha.... so yar.... muz really start work liao :P
Think the Kawaii World Summit is quite a feasible idea... Gonna work on it. Only problem is the lack of places to sell the items. I've been on a look out for places and found some potential places lar... so yar... at least can test out the market first :) So... in order to fulfill my material desires... I really have to start working harder liao :D No more slacking already. Still got half a year for me to pool that amount of money... Which is quite a big sum considering that I can't be using all of my profits to pay for the things. If I do so then my business will never expand without increment of capital. So yar... can only take at most 40% out.... so that means that I need to earn more than double the amount that I'm going to spend... Lol... That comes out to be a super huge amount... :S Haha... but I believe that I can do it! Nothing is impossible for me... lol... K lar... alot of things is impossible. But then I feel that this is not something out of my reach :D Wish me luck!
K lar... thats all for now... bye ;D
Monday, August 06, 2007
Argh.... hate to book in at night... the feeling is real bad... Gonna leave for camp soon.... so sian.... Prefer to book in in the morning cos morning wake up still blur blur... not in the right mind to feel sian yet.... But... no choice have to book in tonite... Having run tmr... so if bk in tmr I have to wake up super early...
This week gonna be a fast one... with NDP filling up almost half of the week. So yar... I'll only be in camp for 2 days... and then that brings us past the first week of august already! yay! Haha... Its finally august liao.... Hope that time will continue to move fast as there will be many events coming up. Another batch of ppl gonna ORD lor... haha... less than 1 mth to go... Can't wait for them to go... cos by then august will be over too! After that... next to go will be in nov! Haha.... can't wait for him to go as well... After he's gone then I can really smell mine coming... :D
I really feel my time is coming liao... haha... can't believe that I've served for 1 and a 1/2 year already! Woho! Another half a year to go! Although half a year still seems long... but... when u break it up into smaller parts... it seems alot shorter. I'm finally going back to my civilian life! Haha....
Hmm... K lar... just have to get past this week first. Tonite go in sleep one night... tmr another night and I'll be off to celebrate the nation's b'day! haha.... If u think of it that way... it seems shorter... haha...
Bye~
This week gonna be a fast one... with NDP filling up almost half of the week. So yar... I'll only be in camp for 2 days... and then that brings us past the first week of august already! yay! Haha... Its finally august liao.... Hope that time will continue to move fast as there will be many events coming up. Another batch of ppl gonna ORD lor... haha... less than 1 mth to go... Can't wait for them to go... cos by then august will be over too! After that... next to go will be in nov! Haha.... can't wait for him to go as well... After he's gone then I can really smell mine coming... :D
I really feel my time is coming liao... haha... can't believe that I've served for 1 and a 1/2 year already! Woho! Another half a year to go! Although half a year still seems long... but... when u break it up into smaller parts... it seems alot shorter. I'm finally going back to my civilian life! Haha....
Hmm... K lar... just have to get past this week first. Tonite go in sleep one night... tmr another night and I'll be off to celebrate the nation's b'day! haha.... If u think of it that way... it seems shorter... haha...
Bye~
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Dated 020807
Hmm... got a few spare moments before I sleep so decided to write my blog now. Will start using som time at night in camp to write blog entry since I've lots of time in camp. Gonna start scheduling stuffs to be done in camp so as to better manage my time. Then I can have more spare time to do the stuffs that I cannot do in camp. And also not to waste time in camp doing nothing. So yar... lets start.
The past few weekends had been great for me. I found back the kind of happiness and liveliness in me that has gone into hibernation for many years. It has been a long time since I last felt such high level of happiness. The feeling is great.
In recent times I've taken to a path which I thought would give me happiness. Yes, I did feel happy at times, and I thought this is the happiness that I want . However, the experiences for th e past few weekends made me feel what it is like to be truly happy. Its different from the happiness I thought I had in the path I took.
Now that i realise what true happiness is, I plan to give up the other path towards happiness that is unreal. However, as the path has been already tread on. There will inevitably be footprints left behind. Well... that will be a regret in my life. And I hope that will just remain as a regret and not have any other dreadful consequences.
Hmm... think u must be wondering what am I talking about... haha... well... there are some things that cannot be told. I've left out the details...
Anyway... just came back from the happy hour by my coy. Well... wasn't really 'happy' for me. Not because of anything bad lar... just that I don't have any bonding with the guys. It;s quite sad for me as I do not have a fixed 'home' I'm always shuffling between the medical center and my company. Like recently everyone went to do NDP... but I'm left out. So I seldom get a chance to work with people in my company... I'm the kind of person that needs a stable environment before I can settle down comfortably. Sometimes i think I'm like a seed. I need to have a fix ground and overtime I'll grow my roots in. When you keep moving the seed around, the seed will never be able to sink its roots. So yar... sometimes i may seem anti social. But then I'm only anti social in places I'll be temporarily staying. If I know that I won't be moving anymore. I'll stop and grow my roots in....
K lar... gonna catch some sleep le... Bye~
Hmm... got a few spare moments before I sleep so decided to write my blog now. Will start using som time at night in camp to write blog entry since I've lots of time in camp. Gonna start scheduling stuffs to be done in camp so as to better manage my time. Then I can have more spare time to do the stuffs that I cannot do in camp. And also not to waste time in camp doing nothing. So yar... lets start.
The past few weekends had been great for me. I found back the kind of happiness and liveliness in me that has gone into hibernation for many years. It has been a long time since I last felt such high level of happiness. The feeling is great.
In recent times I've taken to a path which I thought would give me happiness. Yes, I did feel happy at times, and I thought this is the happiness that I want . However, the experiences for th e past few weekends made me feel what it is like to be truly happy. Its different from the happiness I thought I had in the path I took.
Now that i realise what true happiness is, I plan to give up the other path towards happiness that is unreal. However, as the path has been already tread on. There will inevitably be footprints left behind. Well... that will be a regret in my life. And I hope that will just remain as a regret and not have any other dreadful consequences.
Hmm... think u must be wondering what am I talking about... haha... well... there are some things that cannot be told. I've left out the details...
Anyway... just came back from the happy hour by my coy. Well... wasn't really 'happy' for me. Not because of anything bad lar... just that I don't have any bonding with the guys. It;s quite sad for me as I do not have a fixed 'home' I'm always shuffling between the medical center and my company. Like recently everyone went to do NDP... but I'm left out. So I seldom get a chance to work with people in my company... I'm the kind of person that needs a stable environment before I can settle down comfortably. Sometimes i think I'm like a seed. I need to have a fix ground and overtime I'll grow my roots in. When you keep moving the seed around, the seed will never be able to sink its roots. So yar... sometimes i may seem anti social. But then I'm only anti social in places I'll be temporarily staying. If I know that I won't be moving anymore. I'll stop and grow my roots in....
K lar... gonna catch some sleep le... Bye~
Friday, August 03, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Haiz... having a headache now... kept thinking about work.... At this rate that I'm going I think my brain gonna collapse soon. Must do something about it... Think I shall limit myself to only 1 hour of brainstorming everyday. At the other time of the day. I must block out all thoughts of work. Haha... hmm... think thats a good idea... lol... must implement it.
Anyway... think I've been giving myself too much stress... but can't help it leh... I see a lot of people being successful in their business at a young age. Why can't I be the same? .... sian....
K lar... other than that also got another thing that is bothering me... not very convenient to write it out here... but... think I've decided.... I should stop that thing... its for my own good :)
Nothing much liao lar... going bk in tmr... sian... supposed to be a off... but got a cover tmr... so have to postpone the off... sian... bye~
Anyway... think I've been giving myself too much stress... but can't help it leh... I see a lot of people being successful in their business at a young age. Why can't I be the same? .... sian....
K lar... other than that also got another thing that is bothering me... not very convenient to write it out here... but... think I've decided.... I should stop that thing... its for my own good :)
Nothing much liao lar... going bk in tmr... sian... supposed to be a off... but got a cover tmr... so have to postpone the off... sian... bye~
Just finished reading this book. ' The Universe In a Single Atom : The convergence of science and spirituality ' by His holiness the Dalai Lama. Found the book quite interesting so wanna share some excerpts from it :)
" The buddist cosmos consists of three realm - the desire realm, the form real and the formless realm- the last being progressively subtler states of existence. The desire realm is characterized by the experience of sensual desires and pain, this is the realm that we human and animals inhabit. In contrast, the form realm is free from any manifest experience of pain and is permeated principally by an experience of bliss. Beings in this realm possess bodies composed of light, Finally the formless realm utterly transcends all physical sensation. Existence in this realm is permeated bu an abiding state of perfect equanimity and the beings in this real are entirely free from material embodiment. They exists only on an immaterial mental plane. "
" The evolution of human life on earth is understood in terms of the "decent" of some of these celestial beings, who have exhausted their positive karma, which provided them with the cause and conditions to remain in these higher realms. There was no original sin that precipitated the fall, it's simply the nature of impermanent existence, cause and effect that cause a beiung to change states," to die"
When these beings first experience their "fall" and were born on earth, they still possessed vestiges of their previous glories. These humans of the first era were thought to have godlike qualities.. They are said to have came into being through " spontaneous birth" , they had attractive physiques, their bodies had halo, they had certain supernormal powers like flying and they subsisted on the nourishment of inner contemplation. They were also thought to be free from many of the features that serve as the basis for discriminating identity, such as gender, race and caste.
over time, it is said , human began to lose these qualities. As they took nourishment from material food, their bodies assumed coarser corporeality and thus five rise to a great diversity of physical appearances and this gave rise to a great diversity of physical appearances. This diversity in turn leas to feelings of discrimination, especially animosity towards those who appeared different and attachment towards those who were similar, resulting in the convergence of the whole host of gross negative emotions. Furthermore dependence on material food lead to the need for the disposal of waste from the body and - I am not quite sure of the reasoning works here - this led to the emergence of male and female sex organs on the human body. The story continues with a detailed account of the genesis of the entire range of negative human actions, such as killing, stealing and sexual misconduct. "
"Why does modern biology accept only competition to be the fundamental trait of living beings? Why does it reject cooperation as an operating principle, and why does it not see altruism and compassion as possible traits for the development of living beings as well? "
" The idea of the "survival of the fittest" has been misused to condone and in some cases justify, excess of human greed and individualism and to ignore ethical models for relating to our fellow human beings in a more compassionate spirit."
I guess the greatest thing I realized from this book is the idea of using compassion as the operating principle for the evolution of human kind. I've always been a strong believer of the Darwinian theory of evolution after having read much about it. This book gave me an insight to an idea that never came across my mind.
So yar... If these excerpts got u interested. Do look for the book and read it. Its interesting :)
" The buddist cosmos consists of three realm - the desire realm, the form real and the formless realm- the last being progressively subtler states of existence. The desire realm is characterized by the experience of sensual desires and pain, this is the realm that we human and animals inhabit. In contrast, the form realm is free from any manifest experience of pain and is permeated principally by an experience of bliss. Beings in this realm possess bodies composed of light, Finally the formless realm utterly transcends all physical sensation. Existence in this realm is permeated bu an abiding state of perfect equanimity and the beings in this real are entirely free from material embodiment. They exists only on an immaterial mental plane. "
" The evolution of human life on earth is understood in terms of the "decent" of some of these celestial beings, who have exhausted their positive karma, which provided them with the cause and conditions to remain in these higher realms. There was no original sin that precipitated the fall, it's simply the nature of impermanent existence, cause and effect that cause a beiung to change states," to die"
When these beings first experience their "fall" and were born on earth, they still possessed vestiges of their previous glories. These humans of the first era were thought to have godlike qualities.. They are said to have came into being through " spontaneous birth" , they had attractive physiques, their bodies had halo, they had certain supernormal powers like flying and they subsisted on the nourishment of inner contemplation. They were also thought to be free from many of the features that serve as the basis for discriminating identity, such as gender, race and caste.
over time, it is said , human began to lose these qualities. As they took nourishment from material food, their bodies assumed coarser corporeality and thus five rise to a great diversity of physical appearances and this gave rise to a great diversity of physical appearances. This diversity in turn leas to feelings of discrimination, especially animosity towards those who appeared different and attachment towards those who were similar, resulting in the convergence of the whole host of gross negative emotions. Furthermore dependence on material food lead to the need for the disposal of waste from the body and - I am not quite sure of the reasoning works here - this led to the emergence of male and female sex organs on the human body. The story continues with a detailed account of the genesis of the entire range of negative human actions, such as killing, stealing and sexual misconduct. "
"Why does modern biology accept only competition to be the fundamental trait of living beings? Why does it reject cooperation as an operating principle, and why does it not see altruism and compassion as possible traits for the development of living beings as well? "
" The idea of the "survival of the fittest" has been misused to condone and in some cases justify, excess of human greed and individualism and to ignore ethical models for relating to our fellow human beings in a more compassionate spirit."
I guess the greatest thing I realized from this book is the idea of using compassion as the operating principle for the evolution of human kind. I've always been a strong believer of the Darwinian theory of evolution after having read much about it. This book gave me an insight to an idea that never came across my mind.
So yar... If these excerpts got u interested. Do look for the book and read it. Its interesting :)
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Hello.... well this is supposed to be a long entry but I forgot to bring what I wrote home! So yar.... shall save it for next week. Been writing my blog entry in camp... so I dun have to waste time thinking about it at home. And because entry is written not too late after the event, its much fresher and I would be in the mood to write more.
So yar... shall end here for now... later got to book in.... sian... army is fuck up because of fuck up people running it. Bye~
So yar... shall end here for now... later got to book in.... sian... army is fuck up because of fuck up people running it. Bye~
Sunday, July 08, 2007
LIVE EARTH
. . . - - - . . .
Yeah~ Save the earth :) Its about time for people to recognize that we are really in deep trouble if we do not do something about global warming. There is no need to think far for a reason for u to act... the weather these days is so hot!
The hype about global warming reached a new milestone with the live earth event. Duno how it all started a few months ago where everyone starts to become so concerned about our climate. Countries and companies both pledge their support for the environment by becoming greener. Then there is also the recent policy of bringing our own grocery bag for grocery shopping that left many aunties grumbling about the inconvenience caused.
Well... so how much awareness did it bring to the world. Or maybe lets not look so far... How much awareness has our own community gain through the series of event. My guess is... almost none.
Its quite saddening to see that people around me are not quite concerned about how they could contribute to a better world. Some people do not even have a sense of responsibility towards the damage they bring to earth. I do not have to list down a list of what they did, or perhaps what they shouldn't have done. All of us know the correct way to do things. But we just don't bother. We do not see the long term impact of the stuffs that we do, and even if we were told and aware about it... we just don't bother as well as it is not going to have an impact on us anytime soon....
For me myself. I do consider the repercussion of my actions. Just an example... I do not switch on my air-con unless necessary. Because I believe that it is a vicious cycle. The more aircon we switch on... the more green house gases we produce... and then the weather gets hotter. And when the weather gets hotter. We switch on more air con.... and this cycle goes on and on. That is why I just on my air con for 1 or 2 hrs before I sleep just to lower the temperature of my room which is stored from the day by the sun. After that when my room is cool. Then I just change to using my fan to keep the room ventilated. It won't get any much hotter as the air outside my home is already cooled by the night. So this is a little effort I make to keep global warming at bay. Although I am still giving out green house gases. But I am using it responsibly and giving out what is necessary. Unlike my sis who turns on the air con every night no matter how cold the night is. It is people like her who saddens me as she just don't care. She just knows that the weather is hot, she'll turn on the air con. And when the temperature rise due to it. she will just raise the power of the air con.
So I appeal to all who are reading my blog... do your part for the environment. You know what you can do. You just need to act.
This matter aside. Well... this is gonna be a very packed and tiring month. There are like a record breaking 7 pages of cover for us. Which translates to almost having a cover everyday. Then there is NDP which we will be burning all our weekends. But well... Its both a good thing and a bad thing. The good is that time will pass faster... the bad... obviously... lots of work... haha.... But I believe that the most important thing is to have time pass faster... haha...
Hmm... then today also went to make a new pair of specs :D Haha... Recently felt that my eyes gets tired easily and I strain a lot when I'm looking at things. Resulting in my eyes being blood shot. Initially I thought its because I lack sleep. But I've been sleeping alot lately... haha... so it couldn't be that reason. So yar... my guess would be the need for specs lar. An interesting thing happened. Haha... When I was doing my eye test,
the lady said...
" I know this (the new adjustment) is better.... but I won't give you this "
I said...
" y? "
she said...
" Hmm... how do I put it... you like to over correct your eyesight. The previous adjustment was enough for you to read. But u want more.. "
haha... first time I know people can over correct their eyesight. lol... Hmm... but okay lor... I trust her professionalism lar... so I went for the adjustment she recommended.
Hmm... then thats all for now ba.... long week ahead... haiz... bye~
. . . - - - . . .
Yeah~ Save the earth :) Its about time for people to recognize that we are really in deep trouble if we do not do something about global warming. There is no need to think far for a reason for u to act... the weather these days is so hot!
The hype about global warming reached a new milestone with the live earth event. Duno how it all started a few months ago where everyone starts to become so concerned about our climate. Countries and companies both pledge their support for the environment by becoming greener. Then there is also the recent policy of bringing our own grocery bag for grocery shopping that left many aunties grumbling about the inconvenience caused.
Well... so how much awareness did it bring to the world. Or maybe lets not look so far... How much awareness has our own community gain through the series of event. My guess is... almost none.
Its quite saddening to see that people around me are not quite concerned about how they could contribute to a better world. Some people do not even have a sense of responsibility towards the damage they bring to earth. I do not have to list down a list of what they did, or perhaps what they shouldn't have done. All of us know the correct way to do things. But we just don't bother. We do not see the long term impact of the stuffs that we do, and even if we were told and aware about it... we just don't bother as well as it is not going to have an impact on us anytime soon....
For me myself. I do consider the repercussion of my actions. Just an example... I do not switch on my air-con unless necessary. Because I believe that it is a vicious cycle. The more aircon we switch on... the more green house gases we produce... and then the weather gets hotter. And when the weather gets hotter. We switch on more air con.... and this cycle goes on and on. That is why I just on my air con for 1 or 2 hrs before I sleep just to lower the temperature of my room which is stored from the day by the sun. After that when my room is cool. Then I just change to using my fan to keep the room ventilated. It won't get any much hotter as the air outside my home is already cooled by the night. So this is a little effort I make to keep global warming at bay. Although I am still giving out green house gases. But I am using it responsibly and giving out what is necessary. Unlike my sis who turns on the air con every night no matter how cold the night is. It is people like her who saddens me as she just don't care. She just knows that the weather is hot, she'll turn on the air con. And when the temperature rise due to it. she will just raise the power of the air con.
So I appeal to all who are reading my blog... do your part for the environment. You know what you can do. You just need to act.
This matter aside. Well... this is gonna be a very packed and tiring month. There are like a record breaking 7 pages of cover for us. Which translates to almost having a cover everyday. Then there is NDP which we will be burning all our weekends. But well... Its both a good thing and a bad thing. The good is that time will pass faster... the bad... obviously... lots of work... haha.... But I believe that the most important thing is to have time pass faster... haha...
Hmm... then today also went to make a new pair of specs :D Haha... Recently felt that my eyes gets tired easily and I strain a lot when I'm looking at things. Resulting in my eyes being blood shot. Initially I thought its because I lack sleep. But I've been sleeping alot lately... haha... so it couldn't be that reason. So yar... my guess would be the need for specs lar. An interesting thing happened. Haha... When I was doing my eye test,
the lady said...
" I know this (the new adjustment) is better.... but I won't give you this "
I said...
" y? "
she said...
" Hmm... how do I put it... you like to over correct your eyesight. The previous adjustment was enough for you to read. But u want more.. "
haha... first time I know people can over correct their eyesight. lol... Hmm... but okay lor... I trust her professionalism lar... so I went for the adjustment she recommended.
Hmm... then thats all for now ba.... long week ahead... haiz... bye~
Sunday, July 01, 2007
HAiz... a super short weekend.... just booked out in the morning and have to book in tonite liao... sian.... stupid parade tmr lar... wanted to take off tmr to recreate my weekend lost due to duty... but because of the parade I can't take.... Then the rest of the days in camp take liao also not worth it.... so yar... in the end still have to endure and bear with it till the end of the week lor....
Been having some thoughts again lately.... thinking about my life... the way I live my life.... wad I've been missing out.... Hmm.... then I realised that although I've been grumbling about the things that I do not have.... but when the opportunity present itself to me... I do not dare to grab it. Haiz.... duno wads wrong with me... I wanted some things so much... but then I just dun dare to take it. I'm sort of afraid to step out of my little circle of comfort.
K lar... going for dinner liao... bye~ :)
Been having some thoughts again lately.... thinking about my life... the way I live my life.... wad I've been missing out.... Hmm.... then I realised that although I've been grumbling about the things that I do not have.... but when the opportunity present itself to me... I do not dare to grab it. Haiz.... duno wads wrong with me... I wanted some things so much... but then I just dun dare to take it. I'm sort of afraid to step out of my little circle of comfort.
K lar... going for dinner liao... bye~ :)
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Its sunday again :) Another full week to go before I can get a break next week at the company retreat. Already had 3 consecutive full weeks without any events liao.... time is getting hard to pass... So yar... when this week is over... things will move fast and bring us to the month of july :D yay! Another month closer to ORD... haha... Really getting sick and tired of army liao...
Hmm... k lar... talk about other things.... dun want to waste time on army stuffs again.
Haha... recently got another project :D I was tasked to do a painting for wensi :D Haha..... Went down to bugis area yesterday to buy a canvas. 22" x 28" . Its cheaper compared to what I did the previous time. Last time I bought a piece of canvas without the frame and it already cost me like $30 somemore its un-stretch and un-primed. This one with everything done only cost like $16... But okay lar... there is a difference between the quality of the canvas. My last one was really thick and of high quality.
So yar... I've already started painting on it. Looks quite bad.. LOL... duno if I can do it or not... haha... Just did the clouds... it looks more like stones to me... haha... Will try to complete the picture and see how it goes lar... If really bad then I wun sell to him lor.. haha... throw face sia... But I really hope that it will turn out good lar... cos it will be a test of where my standard is. Haha... I got no official training. All self taught... Although I've went through lessons in sec school art classes... and perhaps last time my children drawing classes... or the more recent chinese painting class... I've only learned the basics.
Other than that this weekend feels great. Not as sian as the previous few. Haha.. somehow I feel more energetic and excited. Maybe its the thought that I'll be painting lar :D So yar... maybe I should paint more :) It makes me happy :D But then someone will need to adopt all my paintings... haha... no room in my house to store all of it :P
K lar... have a nice week ahead :) Hope to blog soon :D Bye~
Hmm... k lar... talk about other things.... dun want to waste time on army stuffs again.
Haha... recently got another project :D I was tasked to do a painting for wensi :D Haha..... Went down to bugis area yesterday to buy a canvas. 22" x 28" . Its cheaper compared to what I did the previous time. Last time I bought a piece of canvas without the frame and it already cost me like $30 somemore its un-stretch and un-primed. This one with everything done only cost like $16... But okay lar... there is a difference between the quality of the canvas. My last one was really thick and of high quality.
So yar... I've already started painting on it. Looks quite bad.. LOL... duno if I can do it or not... haha... Just did the clouds... it looks more like stones to me... haha... Will try to complete the picture and see how it goes lar... If really bad then I wun sell to him lor.. haha... throw face sia... But I really hope that it will turn out good lar... cos it will be a test of where my standard is. Haha... I got no official training. All self taught... Although I've went through lessons in sec school art classes... and perhaps last time my children drawing classes... or the more recent chinese painting class... I've only learned the basics.
Other than that this weekend feels great. Not as sian as the previous few. Haha.. somehow I feel more energetic and excited. Maybe its the thought that I'll be painting lar :D So yar... maybe I should paint more :) It makes me happy :D But then someone will need to adopt all my paintings... haha... no room in my house to store all of it :P
K lar... have a nice week ahead :) Hope to blog soon :D Bye~
Friday, June 15, 2007
Arlow.... Will take this little opportunity before I book in again to blog :)
Life in army has been quite bad recently... Lots of things happening. The cyclical war between my unit and cco regarding the medics has started all over again. We are the poor things that is sandwiched between the two very stubborn old man who refuses to give way to each other. So yar... the war rages on....
And I say its a cyclical war because every few months this problem will surface again. Evidence from the email fired by both parties showed that this matter dates more than 5 years ago in 2002. That is when I'm still studying in secondary 3 when both parties are already fighting about this matter. So yar.... I don't see a complete conclusion to this matter even after this war has blown over... After a while... someone will start this war all over again.
So while war rages over our heads... what we can do is only to try to aviod the debris that falls down. Some are large enough to kill.... Hope that this war will blow over without any casualties.
K lar... thats all that I want to say... I only hope that this war will be over soon and we can go back to our peaceful life till ORD. bye~
Life in army has been quite bad recently... Lots of things happening. The cyclical war between my unit and cco regarding the medics has started all over again. We are the poor things that is sandwiched between the two very stubborn old man who refuses to give way to each other. So yar... the war rages on....
And I say its a cyclical war because every few months this problem will surface again. Evidence from the email fired by both parties showed that this matter dates more than 5 years ago in 2002. That is when I'm still studying in secondary 3 when both parties are already fighting about this matter. So yar.... I don't see a complete conclusion to this matter even after this war has blown over... After a while... someone will start this war all over again.
So while war rages over our heads... what we can do is only to try to aviod the debris that falls down. Some are large enough to kill.... Hope that this war will blow over without any casualties.
K lar... thats all that I want to say... I only hope that this war will be over soon and we can go back to our peaceful life till ORD. bye~
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Arlow... been quite a eventful week.... haha... Our superiors tried to stun us again. So now... we have to stun them back... lol... Its like playing a game of chess... They make one move... we make another. But now the game is in their favor.... we have to do something quick.
Life for me in some way is kind of fun... haha... we are not like normal soldiers who just follow orders and suck thumb. We are constantly playing a game of chess with our superiors.... challenging their every move. I duno why this game can be played for so long batches after batches of medics... haha.... its a never ending game... sometimes they win a little and sometime we win. Life is never peaceful. we constantly have to fight for our rights.
So yar... we will see how things will become next week when we began to fight back with the help of another person... haha...
hmm.... then yar... nothing much liao lar... dun feel like blogging about the other stuffs... kind of late already... want to sleep also... bye bye :) And to all my friends enlisting this week.... good luck... ur time has come to experience the shit... lol... bye
Life for me in some way is kind of fun... haha... we are not like normal soldiers who just follow orders and suck thumb. We are constantly playing a game of chess with our superiors.... challenging their every move. I duno why this game can be played for so long batches after batches of medics... haha.... its a never ending game... sometimes they win a little and sometime we win. Life is never peaceful. we constantly have to fight for our rights.
So yar... we will see how things will become next week when we began to fight back with the help of another person... haha...
hmm.... then yar... nothing much liao lar... dun feel like blogging about the other stuffs... kind of late already... want to sleep also... bye bye :) And to all my friends enlisting this week.... good luck... ur time has come to experience the shit... lol... bye
Sunday, June 03, 2007
2/5 Outing :D
Haha... went for my 2/5 class chalet yesterday. Nice to see everyone again. It was like 5 years since we were promoted and 3 years since graduation from commonwealth sec. Though the time span was not considered long, there are already surprising changes to some of the people :) But then.... there are still things that have always stayed the same :)
Many of the guys are like me, serving the army... while the rest are going to enlist soon :) Some really soon... in 2 weeks time :P haha... Oh well... I've already walked more than half the journey already... Its about time for them to start :D Wish them all the best and have a memorable experience ahead :)
As for the girls... not many turned up. Those who were there are all doing well :)
Everyone seems to be doing quite well in their own way. Many already have commendable achievements and the future hold out bright for them :D
I want to thank jun jie for organizing the chalet :) haha... After 5 years... he's still performing the duties of a class chairman :P
Was looking at the class photo just now... It brought back a lot of memories... Saw some of the faces that didn't turn up for the chalet. Totally forgot about them yesterday when we were listing the people who didn't come. haha....
Though 3 years isn't that long of a time. But then things really have changed and so many things has happened during this short span of time. One major one might be that commonwealth sec is no longer at the place we used to be. It has shifted away. In just a short 3 years after graduation... the classroom that we studied in... the places that we used to hang out are all gone...
I wonder when will out next outing be. Oh well... by then there might be even more changes as we all moved on to another part of our lives. I wish for our friendship to last forever. And everyone to succeed in any thing that they do :D
Hmm.... that is also a finale to the nice week I had lar :) Haha... Its almost like a week long holiday to me since I only went back on two separate days... Its precious... since I dun get this kind of thing often. Now that its over... its time to go back and face all the shit again. June is here already. Haha... the much awaited june... It is the mid point of the year and means that half the journey through this year has been over. Another half of it then I can smell my ORD day coming...
K lar.. shouldn't dwell too much on this matter... it should be a happy thing that half a year has passed... so yar dun want to drag on about how the next half the year will pass and spoil the mood :)
Have a nice week ahead :) Bye~
Haha... went for my 2/5 class chalet yesterday. Nice to see everyone again. It was like 5 years since we were promoted and 3 years since graduation from commonwealth sec. Though the time span was not considered long, there are already surprising changes to some of the people :) But then.... there are still things that have always stayed the same :)
Many of the guys are like me, serving the army... while the rest are going to enlist soon :) Some really soon... in 2 weeks time :P haha... Oh well... I've already walked more than half the journey already... Its about time for them to start :D Wish them all the best and have a memorable experience ahead :)
As for the girls... not many turned up. Those who were there are all doing well :)
Everyone seems to be doing quite well in their own way. Many already have commendable achievements and the future hold out bright for them :D
I want to thank jun jie for organizing the chalet :) haha... After 5 years... he's still performing the duties of a class chairman :P
Was looking at the class photo just now... It brought back a lot of memories... Saw some of the faces that didn't turn up for the chalet. Totally forgot about them yesterday when we were listing the people who didn't come. haha....
Though 3 years isn't that long of a time. But then things really have changed and so many things has happened during this short span of time. One major one might be that commonwealth sec is no longer at the place we used to be. It has shifted away. In just a short 3 years after graduation... the classroom that we studied in... the places that we used to hang out are all gone...
I wonder when will out next outing be. Oh well... by then there might be even more changes as we all moved on to another part of our lives. I wish for our friendship to last forever. And everyone to succeed in any thing that they do :D
Hmm.... that is also a finale to the nice week I had lar :) Haha... Its almost like a week long holiday to me since I only went back on two separate days... Its precious... since I dun get this kind of thing often. Now that its over... its time to go back and face all the shit again. June is here already. Haha... the much awaited june... It is the mid point of the year and means that half the journey through this year has been over. Another half of it then I can smell my ORD day coming...
K lar.. shouldn't dwell too much on this matter... it should be a happy thing that half a year has passed... so yar dun want to drag on about how the next half the year will pass and spoil the mood :)
Have a nice week ahead :) Bye~
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Tuesday night... Its amazing how fast my off is spent... haha.... Tmr got to book in again... but then... good thing is at night get to book out once more...
Feeling rather lethargic lately... Having a headache with my designing work... I've come to a point where I need to decide whether designing is just my hobby or is it going to be my work. I need to choose which is it cos it will have a big impact on the things I do.
I've always treat designing as my hobby. I just design at my free will... anything and anytime... This is easy... and fun... and it feels great. Inspirations find me and I do my designs...
But then in recent times... it started to become more like my work. I design because I need to design. I do not now wait for inspirations to find me... I look for them... I force myself to design... and then come up with products that I don't really feel excited about. Because this is what I have to do and not what I want to do. Although the product still comes out nice and beautiful... but... there is no excitement and anticipation about it...
I wanted to go back to it being just my hobby. Where I can take it slow and wait for inspirations to strike me. But then... if I do so... that means to give up on all the work I've done so far. My litbud.com and the many other projects that I have on hand now. Because I don't know when I'll get inspired again about litbud. It may come soon... or it might never come at all. If it never came... then litbud will be stuck like this forever.... There won't be any further developments.
So yar.... duno what to do now....
Feeling rather lethargic lately... Having a headache with my designing work... I've come to a point where I need to decide whether designing is just my hobby or is it going to be my work. I need to choose which is it cos it will have a big impact on the things I do.
I've always treat designing as my hobby. I just design at my free will... anything and anytime... This is easy... and fun... and it feels great. Inspirations find me and I do my designs...
But then in recent times... it started to become more like my work. I design because I need to design. I do not now wait for inspirations to find me... I look for them... I force myself to design... and then come up with products that I don't really feel excited about. Because this is what I have to do and not what I want to do. Although the product still comes out nice and beautiful... but... there is no excitement and anticipation about it...
I wanted to go back to it being just my hobby. Where I can take it slow and wait for inspirations to strike me. But then... if I do so... that means to give up on all the work I've done so far. My litbud.com and the many other projects that I have on hand now. Because I don't know when I'll get inspired again about litbud. It may come soon... or it might never come at all. If it never came... then litbud will be stuck like this forever.... There won't be any further developments.
So yar.... duno what to do now....
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Oh well... its time for 'Another sunday night' haha.... K lar... didn't get to do it last week cos I got to book in.... Finally life should be going back to the normal monday book in again :)
Life is still the usual sian the past week.... Oh well... Just have to take it lar. Moved to a new bunk liao... All my bunk mates ORDed.... so my bunk is empty now... Moved over to the Coy HQ bunk....
Coming week should be a very short week lar... Off on tues and fri... plus thurs holiday... So I'll be spending my nights all at home :)
Perhaps I will blog more tmr lar... not really in the mood to blog now... bye~
Life is still the usual sian the past week.... Oh well... Just have to take it lar. Moved to a new bunk liao... All my bunk mates ORDed.... so my bunk is empty now... Moved over to the Coy HQ bunk....
Coming week should be a very short week lar... Off on tues and fri... plus thurs holiday... So I'll be spending my nights all at home :)
Perhaps I will blog more tmr lar... not really in the mood to blog now... bye~
Sunday, May 20, 2007
haiz... sian... another sunday night book in.... but okay lar... not as bad as the previous few times... at least dun need to go back so early.
The past week has been bad... really bad... made a lot of terrible mistake. Making mistakes is still fine... the problem is that this mistakes caused trouble to my friends. This is what I hated most. When things goes wrong and its my mistake... then fine.. I can take it. I'm used to making mistakes... afterall this is what make me the person I am today. I do alot of things by trail and error... and in this process.... dozen of mistakes have been made. But I learned from it and get better. So these are my mistakes... I dun want anyone else to be implicated by my mistake. However the 3 big mistakes I've made last week have caused trouble to the people around me... This is what I feel bad about. Haiz.... the past week is really bad luck for me lar... hope that things will turn for the better this coming one.
Anyway... today is my birthday :) Haiz... finally turned 20 already... haha.... old liao lar... My age number no longer start with the digit one... I've lived my second decade as a little human being on this big big world. The coming decade would be the most exciting part of my life. It will be full of energy and vibrance. In this coming decade.... I'll start off with my uni life... then would be my career.... Looking forward to this coming decade. :) My birthday wish? Well... I hope I'll be a happier person :D
Another thing has been bothering me. Somehow people have a impression that I'm a good and obedient person with a sense of responsibility. But then I'm not.... I'm actually a fuck-up person. I do things half fuck, cut corners and take the easy way out. Always having this 'arga arga' 'looks okay then alright' attitude. I don't seek for perfection of anything near that.
So when people have this impression of me. I have to live up to their expectation. I try to do my best in my work... but sometimes I become very tired.... I can't meet their expectation anymore. Did something quite bad last week.... Something that dosen't fit into other's impression of me. But I just dun care... I'm tired...
Anyway... whatever lar hur... I just dun care... but then duno why I have a very strong sense of conscience.... Whenever I do something bad... I'll feel bad for quite sometime... until I start to forget about the matter when time passes by. So yar... maybe this is what that guides me to become a responsible person lar... So yar... U guys still can trust me... haha... :P I'm still a good person... :D
K lar... nothing much already.... Looking forward to the next weekend.... See ya. Have a nice week ahead.
The past week has been bad... really bad... made a lot of terrible mistake. Making mistakes is still fine... the problem is that this mistakes caused trouble to my friends. This is what I hated most. When things goes wrong and its my mistake... then fine.. I can take it. I'm used to making mistakes... afterall this is what make me the person I am today. I do alot of things by trail and error... and in this process.... dozen of mistakes have been made. But I learned from it and get better. So these are my mistakes... I dun want anyone else to be implicated by my mistake. However the 3 big mistakes I've made last week have caused trouble to the people around me... This is what I feel bad about. Haiz.... the past week is really bad luck for me lar... hope that things will turn for the better this coming one.
Anyway... today is my birthday :) Haiz... finally turned 20 already... haha.... old liao lar... My age number no longer start with the digit one... I've lived my second decade as a little human being on this big big world. The coming decade would be the most exciting part of my life. It will be full of energy and vibrance. In this coming decade.... I'll start off with my uni life... then would be my career.... Looking forward to this coming decade. :) My birthday wish? Well... I hope I'll be a happier person :D
Another thing has been bothering me. Somehow people have a impression that I'm a good and obedient person with a sense of responsibility. But then I'm not.... I'm actually a fuck-up person. I do things half fuck, cut corners and take the easy way out. Always having this 'arga arga' 'looks okay then alright' attitude. I don't seek for perfection of anything near that.
So when people have this impression of me. I have to live up to their expectation. I try to do my best in my work... but sometimes I become very tired.... I can't meet their expectation anymore. Did something quite bad last week.... Something that dosen't fit into other's impression of me. But I just dun care... I'm tired...
Anyway... whatever lar hur... I just dun care... but then duno why I have a very strong sense of conscience.... Whenever I do something bad... I'll feel bad for quite sometime... until I start to forget about the matter when time passes by. So yar... maybe this is what that guides me to become a responsible person lar... So yar... U guys still can trust me... haha... :P I'm still a good person... :D
K lar... nothing much already.... Looking forward to the next weekend.... See ya. Have a nice week ahead.
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