Haiz.... its sunday night. Lucky I dun need to book in yet for now. But in the future, things might change.

But although I should be glad that I'm given such privileges. I am not really happy about booking in. In the course of my army life, I've been to 3 places, Tekong, Nee Soon and my current one Sungei Gedong. The experience and feelings of booking in is quite different between them.

Booking in to my first place in Tekong is the worst. Before even booking in, I'm already starting to think about booking out. The feeling is terrible. But then, there is still something to look forward to... the day of POP where I don't have to book in again to the place again. And yes, the day had came and I'm freed from that place.

Booking in to my second place is the best of all. It doesn't even feel like booking in. I feel like I'm just returning to my second home. Its a relax and 'painless' process. I don't countdown to my next book out, because I didn't even feel that I've booked in. Sometimes, I even feel happy about booking in. I really miss that place.

My current camp is actually in the middle of the two. I dun hate it as much as tekong, but there is still some pain felt. I find no reason for me to be happy about booking in. Something is just missing...

I guess its about the people there. K lar... I get along fine with the people there. But then the relationship is just normal acquaintance. Perhaps we haven't gone tru much together, thats why our bonding is not there yet. But then... I feel that thats not entirely the problem. Another thing is that I have a very small pool of people to select a group or a person to cling onto.

I've been thinking about the way I interact with people.

It seems that when I'm being introduced to a new environment. I would look around and find a group where I can fit it. Once in there, I would mix around with people within the group, and seldom with people from outside the group. It is almost such that I stop taking initiative to know people from outside the group. My contacts will only expand when the people in my group bring in other friends to my group. And then from within the group. I would find specifically someone that I will cling onto. So even when the group disperse to do their own things, I will still have someone to cling onto.

It seems abit weird but then, I see this pattern being repeated again and again whenever I get to new places. Sometimes I feel like I'm a parasite. I need a host to cling onto in order to survive.

And right now. Because the pool of people is very small. I am unable to find a group that I can fit into completely. Thus I am not able to find a person that I can cling onto. For now... there is this temporary group that I am in and this temporary person that I cling onto. But then... because I don't really fit inside. I am only loosely hooked on. I'm still searching for my new group and until then may I truly find a good reason for me to book in to camp.

hmm... sian...

went out for wei ping's son 1st month today. Haiz... my first time attending such event by a friend. I'm getting old.... Met up with a few from the combat medic course. All seems to be doing quite well. Slack :P

After that went to play lan... got pwned... haha...

then went down to suntec lor. THe place really very deserted. The restraunts are all empty... But can't blame us lar. U know how hard is it to get to suntec or not? We can't go straight tru citylink. You have to get out of citylink, go tru marina, tru millenia walk then u reach suntec. Its one very big round lor. No wonder the crowd is all stuck at marina square, all to lazy to continue walking tru millenia then suntec.

Something is really missing in my life...

duno what...

duno how....

but I hope to find the missing piece soon...

Hohoho~ Yet another week.

Life has been good... but filled with a lot of uncertainty. Until now there is still no confirmation of where we will be posted to and what will we be doing. It was said that a letter was sent up to the top for us to be put under CCO's control during office hours. That means that we might not have to go become platoon medic, instead we will hold position in the medical center and only go out when they need cover. But then the approval might take a long while to come, at least 1 or two months, so until then, we will still be under AEC.... But then.... new instructions were given that we will stay at HQ before our sergeant come back from his spec 2 course, which will take another month... So now... everything is in a big mess.... We just live by the day.

It would be best if things dosen;t change. Cos I really love the life I'm leading now. Although its not a 8-5 job where I can book out everyday... the work is 8-5.... We start work in the morning at 8, then end work sometimes before 5... As for the rest of the day, we are free to do our own stuffs. So after eating dinner we would go back to the medical center to watch TV until 10, then walk back to bunk and sleep. The medical center is like a mess for us... lol... we can also sneak into the canteen which is just next door to buy food. Its really heaven in there.. haha..

I wonder what changes there might be in the future, but nvm... let me enjoy as long as this lasts :)

see ya~

Yet another week has passed. It has been quite a nice week. The medical center got a little bit busier with platoons of people coming for FFI and a whole platoon of people reporting sick after a route march... There arn't any big cases except for a asthma case, which is a good thing lar... haha... firstly no one gets hurt, and we also can slack :P

I've begin to settle down in there. I dun mind passing the remaining 1/5 years of my ns life just like that lar... but then, things are going to change a little. I'm going to move over to company line in another week's time. There I might have to live a platoon life again. Right now, I'm so free.... Me, together with another 2 medics come and go as we wish. We no need to march, just walk here and there. OTOT go eat... Everything we decide for ourselves. Freedom is one rare thing that you would have in the army. But then... this freedom may not be lasting. I just hope that not too much of it would be taken away after I go to company line.

ANyway... nothing much lar... been rotting for the weekend. Think I really no life sia.... kept wanting to find something to do. But just couldn't find any...

K lar...thats all for now... bye~