Haiz... feeling the dread of work again. Although there are few things to look forward to this coming week. Hope it makes time pass easier. We'll welcome our 4th intern on tuesday. Joining my department but doing other job functions. Coming from SMU as well. Kind of have this urge to go oasis to find his face. But aiya, lazy to do so, not a girl anyway. Haha... so yar. Just wait till he comes. Don't think I'll know him or see him anywhere in school before cos he's a year 4.

Then we'll have our department lunch on thursday to welcome me and the other intern. Although its not as much a welcome for me since I have been working there for more than a month already. But anyway, still a good chance to have extended lunch time and eat good food :)

Then friday I'm going back for my glass bead class :D Had stopped for almost 2 months as my instructor went to japan for an exhibition. He's having one in Singapore as well. Think I'll go take a look and support him.

There is still another event happening this coming week. Not much details yet. But its something that I have been looking forward to for a long long time. Really hope it'll turn out great :D

So yar.. quite happening this week. Other than the week itself. There are few more events that I'm looking forward to. I just can't wait to get out of this hell hole. Haha... Okay lar, not so bad. But I really do not like this job. Or perhaps its just my boss. Although he's quite okay. But I am still quite afraid of him. Last week got a little 'scolding' from him. So yar... its damn stressful. I am being put in an environment that I am totally unfamiliar with. There is no one to guide me along. How can he expect so much from me? My boss would just throw me something to do without explaining much. He expects me to just go out and ask every one else except him on how to do the stuffs. But that just goes against the very nature of myself. As much as I am willing to venture out of my comfort zone. I still need time to adapt to it. So I really hate the way he just throws work at me and expect me to find my own way. I know perhaps this is how things works when I go out to work next time. When you are no longer a intern, people expect you to know your way around and do your work. Well, I accept it. But just can't help to feel like shit about it.

Anyway... as I was saying, there are 2 other events that I am looking forward to.

My boss is going overseas the week after next :D So that means that I will only get to see him for 2 days of the week :D Then 1 week later after he goes on holiday. I will go for my reservist :D LOL. A whooping 2 weeks that I don't have to face him !!! Haha... But then when I come back I still got another 5 weeks to go... Haiz... Hopefully there will be more events happening along the way. Otherwise I can't imagine how I can survive the last 5 weeks. My other 2 interns will leave earlier than me. Then I'm left with the new intern. Hopefully we get along well with each other. Haha.. Oh well... he's doing a 6 months internship there. Haha... good luck to him. This isn't a company that you would want to work long for. :P

Will gossip about the company another time. Think thats all for tonight :D Bye~

Had a wonderful b'day celebration with my friends yesterday. Am very grateful to have met this bunch of friends. Cherish the friendship alot. Really want to thank them again.

Feeling the dread of work.... it feels as though its the eve of booking in again. Same dread, same looking forward to the end of the week, same counting down till everything is over.

I wonder what could cause this dread. The impending shit falling tomorrow? The fear of screwing up? I am starting to hate this job. It is just not me to do this job. It is against even the basic fundamental nature of myself. I have a kind, peace loving nature, however this job requires me to be fierce. Well, if there is reasonable grounds for me to do it, then I don't mind. However, somethings it is my company's own fault and then I am asked to go and fault or bother other people about it. This is the part that I hate most. I am being stuck in the middle of my company and the other. I actually sympathize with the other company that I am supposed to find fault with.

I am thankful that I got the 3 months internship rather than the 6 months one. Otherwise I don't know how I am going to survive it. Luckily I didn't manage to defer my reservist. So that means that I have a 2 week break in the middle. and when I come back. Its only 2-3 weeks more to go. So yar... I'm really looking forward to my reservist now. I really need to get out of this job.

Work BLog

27 Apr

Argh... Damn sian... Second day of work. Hate the steep learning curve. Luckily my cubicle still okay. Haha. Wun get much attention. So I could do my stuffs without too much people peering through. The cubicle walls are very high. So when seated down, I cannot see anyone else in the office. Its a nice privacy that I have. Bad thing is that I cannot connect to facebook at work. MSN quite sian. So I didnt download too. Maybe I should. My boss comes to work at 2pm on certain days. Which is kind of good haha... so I am free for the morning. He seems to be quite strict, am quite afraid of him. Hopefully things will get better as time goes by. If my memory didn't fail, my first week at my previous job also didn't go down quite well. SO yar, hopefully things will really turn out better cos still got more than 3 months to go. Damn sian... they really want to make full use of the intern. I wan to go for my reservist also cannot. Still need to apply for deferment. I don't want to, but they say either I defer or extend my stay. What kind of logic is that? How would extending my stay help? Anyway, still got 1 month before the new intern comes. I hope the new intern would be nice. THen at least we can talk.

I hate my work. Damn sian. Its almost the same as my previous management accounting work where I need to juggle between so many excel documents and reports. I hate this kind of work. I think after this internship I'm gonna try a marketing one. Really cannot take it doing these kind of things for the rest of my life. So I think I've decided what to declare for my second major. haha. It'll be marketing :) Argh... sux... don't know how to settle my lunch today. Boss coming later. Then I have to eat on my own, unless got other people jio me for lunch :( Sux. I hate new environments!!!! Haiz... well, have to get past this first week lar. 3 months to go... SIAN AR!!! OKay... I just installed MSN, but dun have anyone to talk to.

I don't know how I survived my previous job.I even had to teach tuition after work. I no longer have such determination to do it. If I could, I would want to quit now. Go home, have a good sleep. I really feel like giving up. But I can't. I need to perservere on. I need to change my working attitude. I shouldn't be afraid to show that I don't know a single shit about operations. They should have known when they hired me. I am only a year 2 that have taken just 2 modules on operations? Actually I think even if I finish all my modules on OM, it doesn't prepare me for the job. I am thankful that I managed to get a job on OM. To get a feel of what it is like to work in such an environment. The conclusion? It sux. Haha... well at least for now.

28Apr

3rd Day of work. Things are slowly falling into place. Feel more comfortable working with the colleagues. Took a shuttle bus out to east point to have lunch today. It seems to be a long long time since I have contact with the other categories or class of people. For the past 2 days. All I see the whole day is the working class. The business park working environment is really bad. Everything is just too well planned. Buildings, roads, food court. All of them exist just for one purpose. To fulfil the basic needs for workers. Workers only. So its like you are put in a artificially crafted business environment and everyday you turn the wheel to move the business. There is no life in this place. Just work. I remember what my fren who took a architectual module told me. When architect design a facility, it tries to incorporate life into it. A facility on its own does not have a life. Its the people that uses the facility that gives it it's life. In a business park. All the people that uses it are workers. And the life that the facility portray is just work. And work is no life. So the whole place here is dead! Haha... I know I'm gonna fail my AS with this kind of argument. But heck. What I want to say is that there is really no life here. So I'm very happy that I get to go out for lunch today. Seeing all the residents, students and everony else other than the working class. This is life. So yar. I would prefer to go out and eat whenever possible and not just stay in the business park.

Anyway, as I was saying, things are getting abit better. However, more responsibilities are coming in. So yar... but at least I have climbed quite far from the foot of the learning curve although there is still some distance to go. I guess thats all for today. Bye~ Can't wait for the weekends.

My boss is so busy that everytime he says he'll send me something. He forgets. And how can I expect myself to pester my boss? What an irony.

3 May 2010

2nd monday of work. Feeling alot more alert than previous week. Guess the weekends really helped me to recover from the initial shock. Anyway, its still a monday, so we'll see how the rest of the week goes. Just received an email that I'll be attached for 1 day to a freight forwarding company to observe how they work. I guess my boss is really trying to teach me things. I am grateful for that. I begin to see the point that my boss is coming from. He take this internship more of as an opportunity for me to learn rather than to help him do work. He tries to allocate different task for me to do so as to expose me to the various functions of the work. Rather than just to let me do the same work repeatly. While I am grateful of the opportunity to learn, it also places a lot of stress on me as for every new task, I need to learn the things again. I have no chance of learning one and then just repeat it over and over again. So thats the worst part. Hopefully I can finish learning the stuffs in these few weeks and let life become mundane and routine again :)

Anyway, as I was saying, I started this week off on a good note. Feeling somehow more alert. Therefore, I tried to speak up more to the other colleagues. Well, more of lunch partners. Which is even more important if I don't want to eat alone in future. I don't want to spoil the mood at lunch by keep quiet. So yar, here goes the 2nd monday of the week. Just received my intern pay for last month. They forgot that I actually asked for 800. So I only get 700 in the end. Oh well, nothing much I can do now. When you are the one begging, you don't have a choice. Hopefully next year things will be different. I will be the one choosing the job and asking for higher pay. Whether I'll get a marketing job or come back to logistics will have to depend on how I feel at the end of this job. I do enjoy the environment of this job. Sitting in the back office, less formal attire. It could have been a great place if I am here permanently. I got so much desk space that I can stuff with my belongings. Right now, the people don't really interact much with each others. Only among their small clique of friends. If I am around, things might be different. Last time in my previous company, colleagues will buy snacks and distribute to everyone around mid afternoon. But I don't see the kind of culture here. Perhaps due to its location its hard to do so. Or maybe no one just bothers. But I do care, so this is one of the target I have during this internship. I want to start this thing of sharing food. This is one of the small ways that I can give back to the company.

I guess thats all for now. I am trying not to stress myself too hard so that I still have energy for the rest of the week. GOnna sleep early tonight too.

2.5 more hours to knock off :D Haha
Today pass much faster than last week. Gotta keep the energy level up :)

7th May
Its 5.53pm now, friday. Few more minutes before I go off. I've finished the urgent stuffs already. So I'm ready to go. But my boss is still around. Although the office is quite empty already. There is still 6 more minutes to go before 6pm. Although by right I can go off at 5.30. But, my boss is still here and its not even six. So yar, better to just wait awhile more. The week past quite okay. Wasn't as tired as last week. At least I still have energy now, as opposed to last week where I almost nearly died. Things are picking up momentum already. As what I had wished in the first week. Life becomes slightly easier, and it'll be this was in days to come. The morning trips are more bearable now once you get used to it. I'll watch half of a drama in the morning and finish the rest at night. The drama will cover half the journey, then my eyes will need to rest for the rest.

2 weeks into the job. 10+ more weeks to go. Things will move faster along with the momentum. :) I still miss school.

10 May.

The third monday at this job. Things are getting along okay. Work seems more mundance now. Just tio arrow to do up this huge report. It's just about grabbing numbers from everywhere and pieceing them together. CUrrently my access to all the information has not been granted yet, so I'm kind of free now.

Although the learning curve is not as steep anymore, there is still some upward climb to be done. I've also start to realise the nature of this job. Looking at how my boss work and how I work. I don't really feel like working like this in future. I wonder if it is the company that makes me feel so sad. The culture in this company is bad. Really bad. People do not communicate to each other. There is no interaction between each colleagues. I guess partly due to the freaking high cubicle walls. It essentially blocks off face to face interaction with your colleagues. You only have someone on your left or right to talk to. And they still position themselves at a corner so that they won't see each other even at the corner of their eye. I guess this may be the reason that I don't really like this job.

At first I thought the logistics department would be where I belong. In the back office, where the rules are lax, and people have fun together laughing at the top. Well, its true that the rules are lax. We can tell from their attire. Nobody really dresses up in proper business attire. You can see people in jeans around the office. But the people are not having fun together. Thats what that matters.

Oh well, no matter what I'll need to survive this 3 months. I'll try to find out more about the job from my boss. Find out why he stayed in this job, in this company. I've not been to much companies, but I feel that this company is very disorganised internally. Perhaps this is due to the fact that this is not the main head quarters.

Oh, one good thing that I realise from taking on this work is also to watch our for companies that have head quarters in europe and us which are at almost opposite end of our time zone. As they are the high and mighty head quaters full of ang mohs. They wouldn't want to accomodate to our time zone. So often I have colleagues that stay through the night just to have video conference with their heads in the other part of the world. So yar, thats one thing that
I'll need to watch out for.

I guess that'll be all for today. Bye!

14 May

Yay. Its friday again :D Survived my third week in this company. Damn tired now. Slept late yesterday.

Feeling rather lethargic in recent months. No matter how much i sleep. There is this heavy weight on my mind. It is depressing all my feelings and emotions. I couldn't smile and laugh freely. And my daily life has been affected by this. This is especially prominent in the past week at work. During the first week of work, you need lots of energy to overcome the inertia and get the momentum going. You need to start getting the relationships with you colleagues up. Then u need to expand it to your business contacts. All these takes huge amount of effort to get it started and then the momentum will handle the rest by itself. So yar. I kind of wasted the first week at work cos i haven't been very receptive to the hospitality that my colleagues offered. As the first week was kind of a big change to my lifestyle for the past few years. I forgive myself of that. But starting next week. I've got to put in more effort in work.