Sian ar!!! Another sunday night.... Dread going back to camp.... Life is back to the usual. NDP is over... so there will be lots of time for runs, ippt and soc.... Hate it.... No major and time consuming events coming up... time will pass slowly.... really slowly.... But then... those irritating things aside. I hope with all the free time I now have, I'll fully utilize it to really start serious work :) Cos yar.... one of my overseas trip already confirm liao... end of the year.... Gonna set me back by a little more than a thousand. Dun think I'll be able to earn so much by then... but... let it at least cover some of my expenses :)
Sian ar.... gonna sleep now le... the next moment I open my eyes it'll be the start of a new week in camp.... Another half a year to go! Must bear with it! It will be over soon! bye....
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Time for another book review again :D Haha... Been fortunate to be able to find another good book soon after I finished one. This book is "Bad Dog! a memoir of Love, Beauty and Redemption in dark places" Its written by Lin Jenson, the founding teacher of the Chico Zen Shangha, in chico, California.
When he was a boy, his father owns a farm. They rear turkeys and other animals. What I love about this book is how it gives insight into consciousness of farmers doing all the slaughtering of the poultry for our consumption. It records in great details about the feelings and the internal struggle that he felt during his first killing. The writer uses a wide range of words to portray the picture very vividly. It feels as if u are following him through the killings and also feeling the emotional struggles that he felt.
Of course, there are also other stories. I'll be sharing one from the book. Its entitled
Paths.
The paths I have in mind are nothing like sidewalks. Nor are they like the curved walkways one find in public gardens. They're not even like the Forest Service trails that twist their ways into the high mountains. The paths I mean are not designed. They just happen. In towns, such paths originate at othe point where the walker abandons the sidewalk and strikes out on her own. You find them as shortcuts etched into lawns and tracked through the weeks of empty lots. No one intends to make these paths, it just that one day someone cuts across. Then other follows. Paths like there are common in the country where that lead you from the house to trashcan or compost bin or woodpile. They are worn into he sod between the crack door and the garden plot. They connect the laundry room to the clothesline. They thread their way down through the fields to the creek. They often end at the family burial plot.
These paths are so interwoven with other living pursuits that they are an unwitting disclosure of a species' behavior. That's what makes them worth noticing. A well-worn path shows uis where we've been going and how we've been getting there. They reflect character and value. It's heartening that in this age when all our travel is directed along predetermined routes of concrete and asphalt a true path is nonetheless certain to appear where the possibility for one exists. There;s a certain temperament however that resists paths,. that resists anything random anything governed bu chance or mere opportunity. To such a temperament, a path lacks sufficient order. My son, Dru, was in the seventh grade when I received a letter from the school counselors, Mr. Stipplewaite informing me that Dru had been guilty of some unspecific infraction of the school rules. I was summoned to appear at a parent -teacher conference regarding th a matter. Its all sounded so ominous. I wondered what grave transgression on my son's part had necessitated such formal proceedings.
It turned out that Dru's crime consists of having cut across the lawn. Not only that, but he was also uncooperative, having cut across more than once, thus showings a willful disregard for school policy. How many times had he been caught cutting across? I inquired Twice. He'd been caught twice but the supposition was that he'd probably done it lots of time. I asked to see the scene of the crime. Mr. strilpplewaite was visibly annoyed by the request bit drawing on his considerable skills in mediation he humored me bu leading me to the spot. The evidence was irrefutable. I was shown a quadrangle of path worn through to the dirt. It commenced at the sidewalk where I stood with Mr. Stipplewaite and broke its was through a low cover of cypress bushes and entrenched onto the lawn and back again through some cypress bushes on the far side where it reconnected with the sidewalk. It was in every way consistent with the true nature of paths. But it was certainly not ht w work of a single culprit or even of a few. Dru couldn't have worn a path that deep all bu himself if he'd spent every spare minute of his school day doing nothing but waling back and forth across the quadrangle. this particulatr path was a popular route.
Measures were being taken, however, to stem the flow of traffic, which in this case was like trying to stem the flow of human nature. The path had been barricaded with yellow tape strung on stakes, and the bare earth had been reseeded. New shoots of grass were already springing up, but right alongside the abandoned path a fresh track was already being laid down. I could see why. At the point where the two of us stood, the sidewalk took a ninety-degree turn to the right along the face of the building. If you were going to Rooms Four through Eight, the sidewalk served the purpose just fine. But if you were going to Rooms Nine through Twelve, the sidewalk maade no sense at all. it so happened that Mr Stipplewaite and I were conducting our parent teacher conference in Room Ten, and when we got ready to go back it took all the adult restraint that I could muster to keep from cutting across the lawn myself. Mr. Stipplewaite seemed to have no such difficulty. I could see that he trusted sidewalks more than I do., Concrete is more or less permanent and it was clear to me that permanence was a article of faith with Mr. Stipplewaite. He liked things to stay put, and he feared that if you allow one thing to go astray all would go astray. It's dangerous to tolerate a disregard of rules. But the children keep cutting across the lawn. All efforts to prevent this behavior, all the taping-off and reseeding, all the threats and punishments have ultimately failed to produce a correction. Mr. Stipplewaite attributes this to laziness, or to a stubborn resistance. to authority, a willful refusal to cooperate, whereas I see it as an innate on the children's part. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Something deeper than mere surface logic responds to that simple thought. Children cut across lawns for the same reason anyone of us do. because they can't intelligently do otherwise. If in doing so they defy school authority, its because they answer to an authority greater than that of the school . It isn't something they think about. it's simply something they do.As I assured Mr. Stipplewaite that I would, I asked Dru to try using the sidewalk. U think he made an effort but, if he's anyone of mine. He's probably cutting across the lawn again.
Each of our lives is a path. To know this requires intuition and trust. If we are true to the steps we take, the travel makes sense and the journey confirms itself.
Hmm... hope you also gain some insight on your life path. Its something that happens naturally, you don't have to purposely plan what you want to achieve in life. Just go with the flow and may be lesser problems :D
K lar... This is one book that I will strongly recommend reading. If you got time go read it :D
When he was a boy, his father owns a farm. They rear turkeys and other animals. What I love about this book is how it gives insight into consciousness of farmers doing all the slaughtering of the poultry for our consumption. It records in great details about the feelings and the internal struggle that he felt during his first killing. The writer uses a wide range of words to portray the picture very vividly. It feels as if u are following him through the killings and also feeling the emotional struggles that he felt.
Of course, there are also other stories. I'll be sharing one from the book. Its entitled
Paths.
The paths I have in mind are nothing like sidewalks. Nor are they like the curved walkways one find in public gardens. They're not even like the Forest Service trails that twist their ways into the high mountains. The paths I mean are not designed. They just happen. In towns, such paths originate at othe point where the walker abandons the sidewalk and strikes out on her own. You find them as shortcuts etched into lawns and tracked through the weeks of empty lots. No one intends to make these paths, it just that one day someone cuts across. Then other follows. Paths like there are common in the country where that lead you from the house to trashcan or compost bin or woodpile. They are worn into he sod between the crack door and the garden plot. They connect the laundry room to the clothesline. They thread their way down through the fields to the creek. They often end at the family burial plot.
These paths are so interwoven with other living pursuits that they are an unwitting disclosure of a species' behavior. That's what makes them worth noticing. A well-worn path shows uis where we've been going and how we've been getting there. They reflect character and value. It's heartening that in this age when all our travel is directed along predetermined routes of concrete and asphalt a true path is nonetheless certain to appear where the possibility for one exists. There;s a certain temperament however that resists paths,. that resists anything random anything governed bu chance or mere opportunity. To such a temperament, a path lacks sufficient order. My son, Dru, was in the seventh grade when I received a letter from the school counselors, Mr. Stipplewaite informing me that Dru had been guilty of some unspecific infraction of the school rules. I was summoned to appear at a parent -teacher conference regarding th a matter. Its all sounded so ominous. I wondered what grave transgression on my son's part had necessitated such formal proceedings.
It turned out that Dru's crime consists of having cut across the lawn. Not only that, but he was also uncooperative, having cut across more than once, thus showings a willful disregard for school policy. How many times had he been caught cutting across? I inquired Twice. He'd been caught twice but the supposition was that he'd probably done it lots of time. I asked to see the scene of the crime. Mr. strilpplewaite was visibly annoyed by the request bit drawing on his considerable skills in mediation he humored me bu leading me to the spot. The evidence was irrefutable. I was shown a quadrangle of path worn through to the dirt. It commenced at the sidewalk where I stood with Mr. Stipplewaite and broke its was through a low cover of cypress bushes and entrenched onto the lawn and back again through some cypress bushes on the far side where it reconnected with the sidewalk. It was in every way consistent with the true nature of paths. But it was certainly not ht w work of a single culprit or even of a few. Dru couldn't have worn a path that deep all bu himself if he'd spent every spare minute of his school day doing nothing but waling back and forth across the quadrangle. this particulatr path was a popular route.
Measures were being taken, however, to stem the flow of traffic, which in this case was like trying to stem the flow of human nature. The path had been barricaded with yellow tape strung on stakes, and the bare earth had been reseeded. New shoots of grass were already springing up, but right alongside the abandoned path a fresh track was already being laid down. I could see why. At the point where the two of us stood, the sidewalk took a ninety-degree turn to the right along the face of the building. If you were going to Rooms Four through Eight, the sidewalk served the purpose just fine. But if you were going to Rooms Nine through Twelve, the sidewalk maade no sense at all. it so happened that Mr Stipplewaite and I were conducting our parent teacher conference in Room Ten, and when we got ready to go back it took all the adult restraint that I could muster to keep from cutting across the lawn myself. Mr. Stipplewaite seemed to have no such difficulty. I could see that he trusted sidewalks more than I do., Concrete is more or less permanent and it was clear to me that permanence was a article of faith with Mr. Stipplewaite. He liked things to stay put, and he feared that if you allow one thing to go astray all would go astray. It's dangerous to tolerate a disregard of rules. But the children keep cutting across the lawn. All efforts to prevent this behavior, all the taping-off and reseeding, all the threats and punishments have ultimately failed to produce a correction. Mr. Stipplewaite attributes this to laziness, or to a stubborn resistance. to authority, a willful refusal to cooperate, whereas I see it as an innate on the children's part. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Something deeper than mere surface logic responds to that simple thought. Children cut across lawns for the same reason anyone of us do. because they can't intelligently do otherwise. If in doing so they defy school authority, its because they answer to an authority greater than that of the school . It isn't something they think about. it's simply something they do.As I assured Mr. Stipplewaite that I would, I asked Dru to try using the sidewalk. U think he made an effort but, if he's anyone of mine. He's probably cutting across the lawn again.
Each of our lives is a path. To know this requires intuition and trust. If we are true to the steps we take, the travel makes sense and the journey confirms itself.
Hmm... hope you also gain some insight on your life path. Its something that happens naturally, you don't have to purposely plan what you want to achieve in life. Just go with the flow and may be lesser problems :D
K lar... This is one book that I will strongly recommend reading. If you got time go read it :D
Haiz... just finished watching NDP... Felt abit left out.... Maybe ppl consider me lucky that I don't need to go do NDP... but then somehow I don't feel really glad. Most of the people I know are down there doing one thing or another. But me... just stay at home watch TV... So sian...
Anyway.. just realised that I need lots of money! Haha.... There are so many things that I want. Really must start working liao.... Just to list some of the things that I want.... I wan a new computer. I also want to pay for my driving lesson. Then when I ORD I may be going for 2 overseas trip... lol... Yar... 2 overseas trip... if I dun start to increase my income... I wun be able to go for 2.... Cos maybe I going with my army frens... then my cousins also planning a trip... haha.... so yar.... muz really start work liao :P
Think the Kawaii World Summit is quite a feasible idea... Gonna work on it. Only problem is the lack of places to sell the items. I've been on a look out for places and found some potential places lar... so yar... at least can test out the market first :) So... in order to fulfill my material desires... I really have to start working harder liao :D No more slacking already. Still got half a year for me to pool that amount of money... Which is quite a big sum considering that I can't be using all of my profits to pay for the things. If I do so then my business will never expand without increment of capital. So yar... can only take at most 40% out.... so that means that I need to earn more than double the amount that I'm going to spend... Lol... That comes out to be a super huge amount... :S Haha... but I believe that I can do it! Nothing is impossible for me... lol... K lar... alot of things is impossible. But then I feel that this is not something out of my reach :D Wish me luck!
K lar... thats all for now... bye ;D
Anyway.. just realised that I need lots of money! Haha.... There are so many things that I want. Really must start working liao.... Just to list some of the things that I want.... I wan a new computer. I also want to pay for my driving lesson. Then when I ORD I may be going for 2 overseas trip... lol... Yar... 2 overseas trip... if I dun start to increase my income... I wun be able to go for 2.... Cos maybe I going with my army frens... then my cousins also planning a trip... haha.... so yar.... muz really start work liao :P
Think the Kawaii World Summit is quite a feasible idea... Gonna work on it. Only problem is the lack of places to sell the items. I've been on a look out for places and found some potential places lar... so yar... at least can test out the market first :) So... in order to fulfill my material desires... I really have to start working harder liao :D No more slacking already. Still got half a year for me to pool that amount of money... Which is quite a big sum considering that I can't be using all of my profits to pay for the things. If I do so then my business will never expand without increment of capital. So yar... can only take at most 40% out.... so that means that I need to earn more than double the amount that I'm going to spend... Lol... That comes out to be a super huge amount... :S Haha... but I believe that I can do it! Nothing is impossible for me... lol... K lar... alot of things is impossible. But then I feel that this is not something out of my reach :D Wish me luck!
K lar... thats all for now... bye ;D
Monday, August 06, 2007
Argh.... hate to book in at night... the feeling is real bad... Gonna leave for camp soon.... so sian.... Prefer to book in in the morning cos morning wake up still blur blur... not in the right mind to feel sian yet.... But... no choice have to book in tonite... Having run tmr... so if bk in tmr I have to wake up super early...
This week gonna be a fast one... with NDP filling up almost half of the week. So yar... I'll only be in camp for 2 days... and then that brings us past the first week of august already! yay! Haha... Its finally august liao.... Hope that time will continue to move fast as there will be many events coming up. Another batch of ppl gonna ORD lor... haha... less than 1 mth to go... Can't wait for them to go... cos by then august will be over too! After that... next to go will be in nov! Haha.... can't wait for him to go as well... After he's gone then I can really smell mine coming... :D
I really feel my time is coming liao... haha... can't believe that I've served for 1 and a 1/2 year already! Woho! Another half a year to go! Although half a year still seems long... but... when u break it up into smaller parts... it seems alot shorter. I'm finally going back to my civilian life! Haha....
Hmm... K lar... just have to get past this week first. Tonite go in sleep one night... tmr another night and I'll be off to celebrate the nation's b'day! haha.... If u think of it that way... it seems shorter... haha...
Bye~
This week gonna be a fast one... with NDP filling up almost half of the week. So yar... I'll only be in camp for 2 days... and then that brings us past the first week of august already! yay! Haha... Its finally august liao.... Hope that time will continue to move fast as there will be many events coming up. Another batch of ppl gonna ORD lor... haha... less than 1 mth to go... Can't wait for them to go... cos by then august will be over too! After that... next to go will be in nov! Haha.... can't wait for him to go as well... After he's gone then I can really smell mine coming... :D
I really feel my time is coming liao... haha... can't believe that I've served for 1 and a 1/2 year already! Woho! Another half a year to go! Although half a year still seems long... but... when u break it up into smaller parts... it seems alot shorter. I'm finally going back to my civilian life! Haha....
Hmm... K lar... just have to get past this week first. Tonite go in sleep one night... tmr another night and I'll be off to celebrate the nation's b'day! haha.... If u think of it that way... it seems shorter... haha...
Bye~
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Dated 020807
Hmm... got a few spare moments before I sleep so decided to write my blog now. Will start using som time at night in camp to write blog entry since I've lots of time in camp. Gonna start scheduling stuffs to be done in camp so as to better manage my time. Then I can have more spare time to do the stuffs that I cannot do in camp. And also not to waste time in camp doing nothing. So yar... lets start.
The past few weekends had been great for me. I found back the kind of happiness and liveliness in me that has gone into hibernation for many years. It has been a long time since I last felt such high level of happiness. The feeling is great.
In recent times I've taken to a path which I thought would give me happiness. Yes, I did feel happy at times, and I thought this is the happiness that I want . However, the experiences for th e past few weekends made me feel what it is like to be truly happy. Its different from the happiness I thought I had in the path I took.
Now that i realise what true happiness is, I plan to give up the other path towards happiness that is unreal. However, as the path has been already tread on. There will inevitably be footprints left behind. Well... that will be a regret in my life. And I hope that will just remain as a regret and not have any other dreadful consequences.
Hmm... think u must be wondering what am I talking about... haha... well... there are some things that cannot be told. I've left out the details...
Anyway... just came back from the happy hour by my coy. Well... wasn't really 'happy' for me. Not because of anything bad lar... just that I don't have any bonding with the guys. It;s quite sad for me as I do not have a fixed 'home' I'm always shuffling between the medical center and my company. Like recently everyone went to do NDP... but I'm left out. So I seldom get a chance to work with people in my company... I'm the kind of person that needs a stable environment before I can settle down comfortably. Sometimes i think I'm like a seed. I need to have a fix ground and overtime I'll grow my roots in. When you keep moving the seed around, the seed will never be able to sink its roots. So yar... sometimes i may seem anti social. But then I'm only anti social in places I'll be temporarily staying. If I know that I won't be moving anymore. I'll stop and grow my roots in....
K lar... gonna catch some sleep le... Bye~
Hmm... got a few spare moments before I sleep so decided to write my blog now. Will start using som time at night in camp to write blog entry since I've lots of time in camp. Gonna start scheduling stuffs to be done in camp so as to better manage my time. Then I can have more spare time to do the stuffs that I cannot do in camp. And also not to waste time in camp doing nothing. So yar... lets start.
The past few weekends had been great for me. I found back the kind of happiness and liveliness in me that has gone into hibernation for many years. It has been a long time since I last felt such high level of happiness. The feeling is great.
In recent times I've taken to a path which I thought would give me happiness. Yes, I did feel happy at times, and I thought this is the happiness that I want . However, the experiences for th e past few weekends made me feel what it is like to be truly happy. Its different from the happiness I thought I had in the path I took.
Now that i realise what true happiness is, I plan to give up the other path towards happiness that is unreal. However, as the path has been already tread on. There will inevitably be footprints left behind. Well... that will be a regret in my life. And I hope that will just remain as a regret and not have any other dreadful consequences.
Hmm... think u must be wondering what am I talking about... haha... well... there are some things that cannot be told. I've left out the details...
Anyway... just came back from the happy hour by my coy. Well... wasn't really 'happy' for me. Not because of anything bad lar... just that I don't have any bonding with the guys. It;s quite sad for me as I do not have a fixed 'home' I'm always shuffling between the medical center and my company. Like recently everyone went to do NDP... but I'm left out. So I seldom get a chance to work with people in my company... I'm the kind of person that needs a stable environment before I can settle down comfortably. Sometimes i think I'm like a seed. I need to have a fix ground and overtime I'll grow my roots in. When you keep moving the seed around, the seed will never be able to sink its roots. So yar... sometimes i may seem anti social. But then I'm only anti social in places I'll be temporarily staying. If I know that I won't be moving anymore. I'll stop and grow my roots in....
K lar... gonna catch some sleep le... Bye~
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