My mind is damn saturated now. I spent the whole day memorising my bp notes and now i cannot do anymore work. I tried to do ms but it was just too much thinking for my brain to work properly now. The thing that i hate about exams is that it forces you to memorise things. I suck at memory work so very often have to struggle for exams. I do have ways to force information in to my mind, but i don't like to use it. Its a very terrible and long process. It's not like last time when during O or A lvls where u just need to go all out for it. This time round it's just an exam and i see no point in putting myself through the pain. It leads me to wonder again whether i have made the wrong choice of studying in a business school. It is still a long road ahead for me and there are still many more exams that requires memory work. How am i going to cope for the next few years?

Anyway. I came across another inspiring person online again. This person is also very much similar to myself. He is interesting because he loves film making but then somehow he enrolled into a business school too. Yes, its smu! He is the pioneering batch of smu student. It is very inspiring to read that although in a business school, he has never given up on his passion. He continued making films for many of his projects. After a while he created a good portfolio and had even set up his own film making company.

This made me realisr that many things are possible and it depends on whether you want to do it or not. Although not going to a film making school means you lose out on alot of techinical knowledge but if you really have the passion for the things that you do. It does not matter, you will still find your means of getting hold of this knowledge. In fact, if he had just gone to a film makig school, he might have missed out a lot of things that a business school has to offer. Like for myself, although i am not in a design school. But i continue to observe and read up on the latest happenings in the world of design. But if i went to a design school, i might never get the chance to learn about business as wihout the interest i wouldn't be reading up on it on my own.  

Haiz. Really regretted slacking this semester. Am suffering the consequences now. Don't know why i became so slack. I almost always not pay attention to lesson and not revising my work till the last minute. Its a good wake up call for me and i hope to put in more effort next sem. 

Damn sian. Duno whether i should be studying now. Not in the mood to study. But dun study also nothing to do. 2 more days before the exams. Not very little time but also not long either. Still got a lot left for Ma. Although eventually i got the answer. But the time taken is way too long. I take a whole day to finish one 3 hr paper. I wonder if i can cope during the exams. Quite worried, but nothing much i can do now. Its too late already. Can only try to practice a few more questions and hope for the best.

Damn sian... Feel like going out for awhile. 

I'm blogging again. Haha. Well after reading a little bit more about the person whom has inspired me. Well found out that he's not as great as i think he his. His achievement is built on something less glamorous. But i still admire his courage though. Its not easy to tread down this path and not many people dares to do it, especially singaporeans. Therefore if you are daring enough, you are most likely to succeed. 

Haha. You may be wondering what and who am i talking about. Well. I raher not name and mention cos it might lead to other complications. 

Would just like to pen down the thought that although it is still inspiring but its not as good as i thought it would be. 

I guess i'm a kind of person who need constant inspiration to push myself forward. So i'm still very glad that i chance across this blog of his. I would not have been thinking abou what i am thinking and planning to do somethin about it without this trigger.

Hmm. Somehow typing on my ipod touch is surprisingly draining on the battery. I thought using wifi was the worst. I guess typing would rank as second.

Anyways i'm also glad that i've return to blogging lately. Its kind of nice to keep track of your thoughts. It brings back memories when you refer to it in future.    

Hmm. Sux that my phone doesn't have a proper function for me to type long messages. I'm typing on the email function now then i'll need to retrieve it from the email outbox later on. 

Omg, my phone really sux when it comes to this. I just accidently deleted a whole lot of words that i typed. Now i have to retype it again. And guess what, i can't sync the email inbox with the com. So i'm now retying it again on my ipod touch. I think the ipod touch is still the best :)

Anyway, i was typing about what i've been thinking since the last entry. I think it is these quiet an tired moments during the study break that i get emo enough to bother to think about my life and how has it been. As mentioned in the previous entry. I've been thinking whether i'm really pursuing the things i love. 

I know this may sound abit bhb. But i have this feeling that i'm destined for something great. I just need to find the key to unlock this. I've been searching in the past few years but am still lost. Hope to find it soon.  

It has been a long long time since i last updated my blog. Guess i'm feeling so sian now that i even bother to update. Haha.

I just read a blog of person whom i kind of envy. He is about my age but yet he already has achieved so much. He loves what he is doing and excels in it. He has a vision, a drive, to pursue what he wants. This results in a confident young man full of life.

This is not a story of some character who is living under vastly different circumstances. He is just like me, a singaporean, studying in a local university, not very well to do. So how did he find so much energy and life? I guess abit part of it comes from doing what he likes to do.

So i start to reflect on what i am doing now. Am i doing what i like now? Its really very hard for me to answer.

This week is the study week. If i'm doing what i love, would i be dragging myself through all the revision? Would i need to force myself through all these? If i really liked what i'm doing now, then no matter how difficult it is, i'll still be happy right? So all these signs are showing that i might have made the wrong choice.

During my primary school and secondary school days, i cannot blame myself if i were to dislike what i'm doing. I didn't hav a choice then. But now i get to choose to take the course that i like, then why am i still struggling and not happy? Have i really made the correct choice?

I have no answer to this question now. But i am starting to realise the true meaning of university education. It seems kind of late though since i'm already ending my first sem of the 2nd year. But its still better late than never :)

University life is about gaining experience. Its less about the knowledge that you gain through lessons but more about the knowledge gain through experience. At this period of time we are at the prime of our life. We should be doing things and enjoying it. It is less about getting good gpa. Notice i said less cos we still need a reasonable grade for graduation. But really its the experience that counts. And i think its really true. I just need to look back for the past year. The things that i remember the most is not the contents of the books. But rather all the activities that i have taken part in.

So i plan to be continue being active and join many different stuffs :)

I guess this is also part of bringing my personal growth to a higher level. It was already a giant leap for me now compared to who i was a few years ago. Things are starting to change for the better and i have experience many firsts since the change. I am much happier now compared to the past. I guess this indicates that i like to be like this. So i will try to take this a notch higher.

This time round i'll focus on the things i like to do. Still on the topic of the things i like to do, i'll like to share some thoughts about my major. Out of all the majors offered i guess i liked operations management the most. However that doesn't mean that i liked it completely. There are still certain parts of it that i hated. Like all the statistics part. But i guess this is already the closest that i get in choosing the major that i liked. So well no choice but to make do with it. Regarding the second major, well i actually do not know exactly what i want. But i think i have decided to do without it. I think i might want to heed my senior's advice and take a sem off to do a ocerseas internship instead. It is all part of the experience and because since i cannot decide on what i like for my second major.

Hmm. Its a very long entry since so many months. Guess no one is even reading my blog now. But it doesn't matter. Its just an avenue for me to pen down and organises my thoughts. Am very grateful for sone unknown website to point me to the blog of this inspiring young man. I hope that i can keep this inspiriation going while i go back to mug for my exams. Wish me luck. Will blog again when there is a need to :)

Crazy week. Slept in school for 2 nights in a row.

Came back from reservist yesterday. Well, it wasn't as bad as what i thought it would be. Infact, i kind of miss it already. It was a period of time where you do not need to think too much. Instructions were given and you just follow it. Once things get done then its all free time. You get to chat with frens whom you have not contacted for more than a year. You get to meet some new frens too. So it really is a good break from the usual life.

Remember in the last entry i said that i do not feel like i'm having my holidays? Well i didn't feel that way for the past week that i'm in camp. But now when i'm back the feeling just comes back with it too. So much school related stuffs, its almost like school again. Perhaps i've joined too many activities. But anyway, i'm stopping soon le. I've joined quite enough activities and its time for me to concentrate on my studies.

So yar, even though i hate to admit this, but somewhere within me i am looking forward to my next ict.

Haiz. Feeling very sian now. Can feel the dread of booking in. But then, this feeling aside, i'm quite optimistic that it will be fun. I guess it is a good break from all the work i've been doing. I kind of don't feel that i am having a holiday now as all the things i do is similar to what i usually do during normal school. Minus the exams and mugging part, its still going back to school, having meetings, doing projects. So perhaps a change of environment to a place where i have limited access to the outside world. Actually its the other way aornud. Its a place where the outside world has no access to me. So i can put aside all my work and enjoy a few days off. Its kind of like a overseas holiday. Just a little less freedom. Can take this chance to try and slim down. Haha. I'm really getting very fat. Its shocking how fast and how fat i can grow.

Anyway, hope it will be fun. Afterall we are nsmen now already, so i expect better treatment. But no matter wad, the best thing is to be able to meet some frens again and i guess with them around, nothing will be too unbearable :)

I haven't been applying the knowledge I gain into my business. I guess I should start to do so now. In the past, I used to think that it is all bullshit and I don't really need it to grow a business. Or even, thinking of keeping my business as a hobby without all these hassles. However, I'm starting to think that I'm wrong. I require these knowledge to help my grow or even just to sustain my business. Without it, business may fail, and my hobby will be gone too. From now on, I'm going to apply whatever I learn into my own business. What better way to learn than to experience it first hand.

My life is changing. Positive changes, those changes that i had always wanted. My hardwork over the past years have paid off. Those tough decisions i had made is beginning to reap benefits.i'm really happy. I'm beginning to experience the many things that i had missed out in the past. Little things that many pepole had, but i didn't. Now, its slowly starting to happen. Although it can never fully recover wad was lost. But i believe that it can be close enough. This is the best birthday i had in recent years.

I'm beginning to feel that all the work I've been doing are rather fluffy and does not value add much. Perhaps its because of the lack of income. Haha... cos when you work outside, you know you are getting paid and got something to look forward to. But when you take part in organising school activity, everything seems to 'wayang', like act only. There is no feeling of value adding :S

My body is aching all over from the ippt. :S an indication that it has been a long long time since I last exercised. My fitness level decreased by a whole lot. I had a shock when I saw my 2.4km timing. Out of all the 5 stations, I'm most proud that I always managed to pass my 2.4km. Not to say pass, I usually manage a sliver or something close to it. But this time round, my timing cannot even pass. Its the worst timing since a long long time ago. Its almost back to where I started. It didn't help that I started to train running 2 weeks ago when holidays started. The timing is really horrible. I realise how far my fitness level had dropped already. Hope to rescue abit before the school starts, otherwise it will continue to drop even further.

Hmm... Been quite busy since the start of the holiday. Wonder if i had sign up for too much things. Haha.

finally... about 1.5 hrs later. I finally got the cock off the wine bottle. Its a f***ing stubborn piece of cock that refuses to come out. In the end I just tore it into tiny pieces and push it into the bottle.

oh no. I just realised that when I updated this template, my tagboard is gone! and I can't add it back cos I don't have the script and I forgot my account password! :S

Now no one can leave a msg already... Haiz... but then, I wonder how many people still reads my blog. Haha...

OMG! They are currently airing a remake of Fullmetal Alchemist! :D Woho~ Its one of the best anime I've watched. Haha... but feels kind of weird though, cos they restarted from the beginning and then all the dead characters from the old one came to life again. Nevertheless I think it will still be a good anime. THose who haven't watch the old one can go try watching.

WOHO!!!!!! Exams over le!!!!!! 3 Months of FREEDOM!!!!!

Damn sian... no mood to study....

:( Feeling abit worried now. I think I didn't write enough for my BGS :S 10 mark short answer question. I don't know how the prof allocate the marks leh. If 1 mark for one point then I die liao. Got some questions I only make like 1 or 2 points :( Hmm... hope everything will turn out okay. I'm betting heavily on my MCQ to pull up the marks. I think my MCQ did quite okay... managed to find most of the things. Haiz... wads over is over liao lar....

My FA okay lar... quite bad... but I don't really feel that sad cos I already know that I won't be doing well for it. Haha.... for AS, I was hoping for a better result than my mid terms. At least this time round the options in the MCQ makes more sense to me such that I can make a better choice. The mid term one is really anyhow choose one lor. So yar... hopefully I can pull up the mid term grade.

Now its time to worry for my MPW and TWC. MPW got so so so so so many many many many things to memorise lar! And I'm the worst at memorising things. So very worried. Then for TWC, the prof is making everyting so confusing. The more he tries to help us, the more confusing it gets. First he did a review slide, and things get abit more complicated. After that he keeps redoing his slides and adding more comments on it, all the way through the study week. Its like, why you keep changing things at the last minute. I already prepared using the old slides, and now you complicate things by adding more stuffs into it. Then I have to read everything again. Waste my time. I know he is trying to help, but I think I rather not have it.

Woho~ First time after so long since I typed like a proper entry to my blog. Guess I'm really very fustrated. Haha.... heck care lar... 2 more papers to go. I don't expect much. Just don't get a C can liao... :D Bye~

AR!!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn sian... stop practising FA already. Just memorising stuffs and looking through the notes. Need to relax and calm my mind now. I've did wad I could already... spending more than 4 days of my study break on it. 1 FA mod takes up like 80% of my study time... Now can only wish for the best for tmrs exams.

One more day and fa will be over!

I HATE FA!!!!!!

wah... I think smu server overload liao... everyone mugging. I can't even download notes from the school website!!!!

I think my blog is becoming more and more like twitter. Haha... lazy to type long entries so the recent entries are very short :S

AR!!!!!!!!!!!! Exams are coming!!!! and my FA is chui!!!!! How how????????? I think I'm most worried for my FA. :S The rest still okay... just need time to memorise things... but then FA is so mathematical... Haiz...

Yay... finally nearing the end of the term :) Cleared most of my work already. Last week was hell... but this week can finally relax abit. Wads left is to chiong for the finals!

Smile~ Even when you work is piling up high. There is always reasons to smile :) All the best for all who are mugging for their finals :)

Eh... I think so be...
SO MUCH WORK TO DO!!!!!!!!!

nvm... my english chui... Actually my language quite screwed up. My chinese sux. Cannot read, only know how to talk. Then my english... cannot write, cannot speak.... -.-

ARR!!!!!!!!! SO MANY WORK TO DO!!!!!!!

:( recess week over le.... haiz.... dun feel like going back to school...

My neck is aching now. Don't know is it because of the stress or because I'm falling sick soon. or maybe its due to the lack of exercise. I think I need to go get a good neck massage soon. I think I've been stressing myself a little bit too much. I haven't been enjoying my weekend. Its like I keep feeling that I should study. There's a FA quiz coming tuesday and I keep telling myself that I should be studying. But the fact is that I did study and I spent my saturday going back for FA lessons and doing things for my MPW. So I really haven't been slacking. But still whenever I stop doing my work, then there is this voice in my mind that is telling me that I should be doing more work :S

Yesterday was a very bad day for me as you could probably tell from me entry. But at least today things are starting to get sorted out. The problem is tomorrow. There are so many things happening in a day that I can barely make time for it. First there is this make up lesson that will take up the whole of the morning. But, problem is that I might need to pass the MPW survey to the participants in the morning as well. Then after that I need to rush home because my relatives are visiting my house. So if I don't get to pass the survey in the morning then that would eat into the relatives visit time. Of which the visit time is already being cut short because I need to be there for the bondue bash. So there is so many things happening at one day. Argh... I'm not going to stay late for the bondue bash. Once I'm no longer needed I'll go off already. I dun like clubbing and I'm really too tired to stay on. Although this monday and tuesday is a holiday. But I didn't get any rest. So its almost like a 5 days week for me. And then tomorrow will be the sixth day.

Cannot take it already. Luckily its all going to be over by this weekend so I can carry on my usual routine when school starts next week.

Dame du lan now. All the shit start choking up the work flow. First there is this MPW that requires me to find 2 managers to do a series of 3 survey. Its already hard trying to get people to take part in 3 survey and they still want to set so many requirements. First one of them needs to be a manager and then the other one has to be a manager's manager. Then the company has to have more than 100 employees. How am I going to find such a person who is willing to take part in this kind of stupid survey, not only one, but 3 times. They think everyone has parents working in big companies ar...

Other than that still got this idiotic bondue. Fuck up piece of shit. Damn du lan now. I have to cancel my family dinner because of some stupid clubbing event. Now I kind of regret joining bondue. I don't really care about the position. Who cares about a IT director? Its just a person who do all the shit. Make all the emailers. The reason I've joined is because I love to design. They came to me saying that they need the skill and asked me to join them. I thought why not? Because, first I get to design some stuffs. Whether I receive any rewards doesn't matter. As long as my design can get displayed tru their posters and emailers I'm contented. And secondly, I thought I can share my skill and maybe do something for the school or the students. Thats why I joined. But now that they make me do all these kind of shit. I'm really wondering whether I should quit.

Argh... damn pissed off now. I hope that I can get the MPW shit cleared by tomorrow. The Bondue one, actually I don't care that much. I'll do what I can until the point where I really get pissed off, I'll just quit. Bye~

Yay~ Second week of school is almost over. Well, kind of settled back to school already. Cos last week was still kind of adjusting to the new timetable and profs. Actually I quite like my new timetable, although it is a five day week. Unlike my last term, I don't have to spend long days in school. On days that I don't have morning lessons. I can wake up at 9, then slowly make my way to school. By 3.15, lesson will be over then I stayed back awhile to finish up my homework. I'll try to do my HW in school cos I lazy to bring my books home. Haha.. just throw it inside my locker. Its damn heavy lor, my laptop is already killing me, so I can't possibly carry another book that is as heavy as the laptop around. So, I'll try to finish my work before 5.30 so I can take my train home without having to cram with the rush hour crowd. Having one lesson per day also allows me to concentrate more during lessons. Last term where I had 2 lessons per day, I'm usually day dreaming throughout the second lesson. :S Anyways, school is still pretty much okay for now. Although it was significantly more busy than last term. Its only the second week of school and I find that my free time are slowly being eaten up by school related work.

Okay, enough about school. I just bought a refurbished ipod touch online few days ago. And it is expected to be delivered today :D So excited... haha... Well... it took me about 1 month before I could make the final decision to buy it :| Cos you know lar, poor people like me have to think alot before I buy something. For the past month I've constantly been asking myself, is this really needed, can I make do without, should I save the money instead, or should I use the money to get something else? All these questions have been repeatly asked throughout the month.

And finally, I decided to get it. Firstly, because I've been thinking about it for so long means I kind of wanted it, and the longer I darg, the more time I'll waste trying to give myself reasons to justify the purchase. Haha... So why not I just buy it and can stop all these useless thoughts. Well... besides that, of course there are practical reasons to buy it. I think I'll be needing it. My earphone connection to my handphone is kind of spoilt, so its become very irritating for me to listen to music from it as it will get disconnected ever so often. So I'll need another music player for my total 2 hour journey to and back from school. Imagine that I spend almost 1/6 of my waking time travelling. -.- Other than that, it'll be quite useful for me to carry my documents around. Especially those that requires reading. I think I can still find lots of other reasons, made up or not, to justify my spending. Haha...

Chinese new year is also round the corner. I think the atmosphere this year is going to be quite bad. Its like for the past few year, even when the economy is doing good, the new year celebrations has died down quite abit compared to a few years ago. Then this time round, because of the bad economy, it is going to get worst.

I haven't bought my new clothes for the new year yet :S Haha... I only just bought 1 T-shirt yesterday. Have to go shopping this weekend liao. I'm not just buying new clothes just because to follow the tradition. Its also because I don't have much presentable clothes to wear to school already. Haha... I haven't been shopping for the past year... so much of my clothes are deterioted and washed out, so it become more of my sleeping clothes. So currently I like only left with 3 set of clothes that I need to recycle a few to meet my 5 days week.

K lar, need to prepare some stuffs for lesson later. See ya~

Just finished the 3rd day of school. Feeling tired... seemed to have done alot in the past 2 days. So now, I felt quit weird that I actually have spare time to watch drama. Haha... I like keep telling myself that shouldn't I be doing something related to studies now. Shouldn't I be reading some text or practising some questions? Haha... Think I'm over stressing myself -.- Should relax abit. The one lesson per day timetable is still going well. But somehow I still kind of prefer the 2 days week time table I had last term. Although its really tiring. But the pain is short. I finish my lesson on tuesday and have the rest of the week to myself. But now... I still need to go to school everyday.

Haiz... life goes on... have to take it easy :) Have fun~ Oh... by the way... my Muggerland pillar won the most popular pillar award! Haha... too bad I had lesson and couldn't be around to witness the event.

K lar... shall stop here.... see ya~

Oh no... what have I gotten myself into? I think I'm gonna get real busy this term. Other than the extra 1 mod I need to handle. I still joined the exco of the business society! This is crazy.... Hope this will turn out okay, otherwise I might need to quit the exco next term -.- Crazy... Why am I doing all these? Just study can already mah... do so many extra things....

AHHHH!!!! School is starting tmr!!! So sian... After one long month of sleeping late. I dun think I can wake up early for lesson tmr!!! -.-