Well... its time for another entry :)
Today was erm..... quite a normal day lar, nothing much happen, and no special feeling....
Woke up early in the morning at 7.30.... but only got out of bed at 8... then went to do skipping :D Haha... skipping really makes you perspire a lot :D haha.... so yar.... hope I can get my dream bod in a few weeks time :)
Then after that went to school lo.... for CCA.... nothing much.....
After CCA came back home lo.... haiz.... thats about all for today.... Very sian hor......
Haiz..... Life is so boring for me :'( .....
You know, yesterday night I was thinking about myself..... why do I feel so lonely? Who are my friends? Do I have a close friend? Who is it? Or do I have one? So yar.... then recalled about something which I read it in a book quite some time ago. Eh... wait a minute... is it a book? Well haha.... its that long ago that I forgot where I saw it. But cos I did it once, so I remember.
It is to help you know who are the friends around you, and where they stand in your life....
It is done this way.....
First, draw a dot in the middle of a paper.... Lable it myself.....
Then draw circles around it.... ( like ripples)
Okay.... then start to put all your friends into the segments divided by the lines..... the closer the friend is to you, the nearer you put the dots to 'myself'.....
From wad I can remember.....
The first segment nearest to 'myself' is for the friend whom are really very very close to you.... Someone whom you can share your troubles, problems or even joy with. Someone who will always be there for you.....
I think its kind of like a system the friendster uses.... But I dun use friendster, so I duno how is it like. I only heard from my friends.........
So yar.... I kind of realised that....... there is no one in that circle nearest to 'myself'...... there is no one whom I can share my problems with.... whom know that I have problems.... except for this blog that I can share my thoughts and feeling with......
I know this may offend some people.... but.... please dun feel offended..... this is how I feel...... sry......
There is a person.... whom is almost reaching..... He is touching the line that seperates the first and the second segment.....
Other than him..... there isn't anyone nearer to me......
But.... why is this so? Why is there no one in that segment? Am I very hard to get along with? Am I very closed up in my own world? Am I too quiet? Am I too bored? Or am I too weird? .... WHY????????? WHY dun I have someone whom I can place in that category????????? Is there a problem with me????? Or issit I keep my problems to myself too much? Izzit because I hid my feelings, my troubles so well that nobody know that I'm actually am suffering???? WHY IS THIS SO?????? Someone tell me!!!!!! Where do I go wrong??? What do I have to change???? Tell me!!! I am willing to change!!!! I can take any criticisim!!!! Just tell me whats wrong with me!!!!! I really hate such a lonely life...... I live each day with only myself..... If this goes wrong.... I may really go crazy......

Recently... grabbed a pencil and started writing the following..... Actually wanted it to be a lyric for a song..... but.... my standard not there yet.... cos the paragraphing, number of words for every line, and the rhyming words at the end of the lines.... and many other things are not taken care of..... So yar.... can only be read and not sung....
Here it goes..... Note: switch to unicode for viewing chinese

一个空虚的心灵
等待着天使的降临
让心中的风铃
不再是停

想对你说的话
再半空中悬挂
不知你心里
是否已有了他

我真心为你付出
你是否有感触
是否把他永存
在你心处

这一切的一切
都是单方面的付出
恐怕到头还是
孤独一世

:) Maybe because I'm that lonely, so I wanted to find a gf asap.... someone whom I can share my feeling with..... someone whom.... will not be in the first segment nearest to me..... but..... shares the same dot as 'myself' ......... Someone that close to me.......
But..... I have found it.... but it still seems foggy..... there are many uncertainty.....
Today also heard on the radio.... they said somthing like, when you meet someone you like, then you must work for hard to get her, if you wait for fate to bring you together..... it will never happen......
This actually gives me a lot of motivation........ But...... haiz..... still very tied down with CCA for this week...... then she would be leaving sg for a holiday soon.... So yar...... will have to wait till she comes back before I can make any move........
but do you find that I'm using work as an excuse.... and keep waiting and waiting..... you know..... not to cheat others... but I'm like cheating myself..... But..... duno why..... I'm really very busy..... things come one after another..... I duno when it will end..... I'm really tired of this.....

Think thats about all for today....
-A lonely soul......