Okay... its the end of the year again.... I shall now take this time to recap the events that happened for the year of 2005 before we embrace the new year of 2006.
Okay.... lets start with last year's new year resolution..... I dugged up the entry and here it goes....
"My new year resolution very simple..... the standard get good grades.... good health.... and something special here... I want to get a girlfriend :D haha..." 2005
Getting good grades.... hmm... that seems to be fufilled. Have been performing rather well for the year of 2005..... now its just waiting for the A lvl results le... and I'm feeling optimistic about it :) So yar :)
Next would be good health.... no major illness for this year.... Just the common cough and flu....
Lastly the girlfriend... haiz.... still single and unattached now.... Some things did happened... but it didn't ended well, so I also don't want to talk about it now....
My achievements this year....
Hmm..... well... I think I've grown to be slightly more mature. Although I'm still quite childish at times.... but :P I still enjoy the feeling of getting things done your own selfish and immature ways :P Anyway... yar... I learnt alot about how to carry myself.... and the way of thought.... :)
Other than that I dun seem to have done anything great..... Oh wait.... If I've not mistaken.... Litbud was borned this year right? :D Hehe... thats my greatest achievement for this year :D I'm very glad that this little thing that supposed to be a simple doodle during boring lessons can capture the hearts of so many.... To all whom supported my litbud.... A big thank you! There will be future plans to develop it..... but thats another story for another time :)
Then it seems that there arn't really much achievement for the year of 2005
My regrets......
I regretted failing in an attempt to get into a relationship....
I regretted not studying hard enough for econs
I regretted nothing else......
Okay.... thats about all that have happened for the year 2005.
Now my new year resolution for the year 2006.
Firstly of cos... I would wish for good health for myself and all the people around :)
Secondly I wish for an enjoyable time serving the country in NS
Thirdly I wish for the plans to develop my litbud to be successful and form the foundation for it to generate money for me in the coming years.
Lastly I would like to make more good friends.....
K lar... that all for now.... I wun wish to get into relationship this year lar cos its really quite impossible cos I will be in camp like 5 days a week or even more, where got time to go out and know girls.... So yar.... I'll just keep this wish till 2 years later :P
So this is it.... in another 1/2hr time would be the start of the new year already. Won't be staying up for countdown cos I'm really tired and I still have to work tmr.... Furthermore its meaningless to countdown on ur own.... So yar.... thats it.... Bye :) Wish all an enjoyable 2006 ahead :)
Friday, December 30, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
My off day... :) Finally can get a break from the products in the shop.... For the past few days I've been like hearing Dopod... Nokia N70 and all the other models so many times that it keep ringing in my head.... Gonna go crazy soon if I dun get a break from all these names....
Anyway way... just to continue the story from the previous entry.... Remember I was saying that I dun want to owe any 'kindness debt'. Yar.... actually I wanted to quite ealier than wad I told them lar... cos the job very sian.... dun think I'm suited for such a job.... so hor..... if they treat me so nice then I quit.... abit bad leh... especially if I gain something like cheaper prices.... It may seem that I just join so that I can get cheaper prices. after I got what I want I quit....
So yar.... hope that everything goes on fine... then I work till the end of jan then I quit liao... one more month to NS.... its about time to slack and train up liao lar....
K lar.... nothing much for now... bye~
Anyway way... just to continue the story from the previous entry.... Remember I was saying that I dun want to owe any 'kindness debt'. Yar.... actually I wanted to quite ealier than wad I told them lar... cos the job very sian.... dun think I'm suited for such a job.... so hor..... if they treat me so nice then I quit.... abit bad leh... especially if I gain something like cheaper prices.... It may seem that I just join so that I can get cheaper prices. after I got what I want I quit....
So yar.... hope that everything goes on fine... then I work till the end of jan then I quit liao... one more month to NS.... its about time to slack and train up liao lar....
K lar.... nothing much for now... bye~
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Merry christmas! :) Haiz..... still have to work tmr sia... so sian.... have been working for the past few days.
Quite a lot of things happened for the past few days... too much that I duno what to write. Well... I'll try my best lar :)
Firstly... I don't really fit into the environment. All the other collegues there have different background from me. All those Ah beng type. But... they are still nice people lar. Have no problem talking to them... but u know.... there is still much to go for me to fit in comfortably. For my case still okay lar.... got this other guy, also new there... is worst.... He can't fit in, and the people there also dun really want to interact with him.... He's actually more of my type lar... guai guai... good boy type :P So yar.... he's the person that I'm most comfortable with and talk to most there. But we were assigned to different sections, so dun have a chance to talk during work... only in the morning and after work.... But nvm lar.... at least got someone to share the agony of the day. So... overall... I'm still doing fine there.... able to connect with both the Ah bengs and also the good boy :P
Secondly.... The big boss seems to be a very nice guy :) On the first day of work... he asked me to sit beside him.... and talked to me... asked me a few questions then tell me to slowly learn the ropes.... Today I was looking at a PSP... then he asked me if I were interested... if I am he's willing to give me a very good price :P But well... I didn't want a PSP.... and also dun want to be indebt to his kindness... I'll tell u why later :P
Then I also met someone interesting.... haha.... He played badminton from young with the national player Ronald susilo before... He say he played with him since primary school and always win... then in sec school still winning... but when come to jc start losing liao cos he started smoking and skipped training... So now... ronald become national player liao... then he still a small employee. So yar... he say... dun take the wrong step when u are young.... you will regret it.....
K lar... thats all for now.... Bye :)
Quite a lot of things happened for the past few days... too much that I duno what to write. Well... I'll try my best lar :)
Firstly... I don't really fit into the environment. All the other collegues there have different background from me. All those Ah beng type. But... they are still nice people lar. Have no problem talking to them... but u know.... there is still much to go for me to fit in comfortably. For my case still okay lar.... got this other guy, also new there... is worst.... He can't fit in, and the people there also dun really want to interact with him.... He's actually more of my type lar... guai guai... good boy type :P So yar.... he's the person that I'm most comfortable with and talk to most there. But we were assigned to different sections, so dun have a chance to talk during work... only in the morning and after work.... But nvm lar.... at least got someone to share the agony of the day. So... overall... I'm still doing fine there.... able to connect with both the Ah bengs and also the good boy :P
Secondly.... The big boss seems to be a very nice guy :) On the first day of work... he asked me to sit beside him.... and talked to me... asked me a few questions then tell me to slowly learn the ropes.... Today I was looking at a PSP... then he asked me if I were interested... if I am he's willing to give me a very good price :P But well... I didn't want a PSP.... and also dun want to be indebt to his kindness... I'll tell u why later :P
Then I also met someone interesting.... haha.... He played badminton from young with the national player Ronald susilo before... He say he played with him since primary school and always win... then in sec school still winning... but when come to jc start losing liao cos he started smoking and skipped training... So now... ronald become national player liao... then he still a small employee. So yar... he say... dun take the wrong step when u are young.... you will regret it.....
K lar... thats all for now.... Bye :)
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
First day at work.... One word.... "slack" lol.... Really slack until very sian.... No business one lor... Especially around 3-4 pm.... After the whole morning.... u feel so bored already... then during the period is the most empty one lor.... Then u like.... -.- Wad am I supposed to do.... Haha....
So yar.... Haiz.... no wonder the pay so low.... K lar... will blog more when I have the time.... bye :) Go sleep liao....
So yar.... Haiz.... no wonder the pay so low.... K lar... will blog more when I have the time.... bye :) Go sleep liao....
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Haiz.... go one big round, I'm back to doing sales for IT products again.. lol... At first I dun want to do sales cos I wanna try something new... but well.... since this opportunity is presented to me, then nvm lor.... Actually its really fate that I got this job. I didn't purposly search for it... it just came to me by chance..... Here's the story of how I found the job... or perhaps how the job found me.... :)
Today I was feeling better already... although still have some mucus that was stuck.... but I am able to speak rather clearly already... So I decided to pay a visit to the employment agencies. I took a bus down to orchard road. Visited Far east shopping center where the agencies are. And I was shocked. Actually not shocked.... just very much surprised... Haha... 90% of the so called employment agencies are crowded with foreign dark women.... without the need for introduction... I know they are foreign domestic helpers... in layman terms... maids.... Not that I want to sterotype lar... but its obvious.... So yar.... almost every of these so called employment agencies deals with finding employment for these foreign workers.... Then I just went off without entering any agency to ask for temp jobs lor. The thing that came to my mind was... "hello!? I'm no maid!! :S" lol.... why can't they just advertise as maid agency.... employment agency sounds so misleading.....
Anyway... after that I thought actually I don't really need to look for agency lar... afterall the job posting on the online job agencies are all admin and accounts position which I can't do... so I guess it would be the same at their shop ba..... Then I decided to keep a lookout to see if any shops put up notices to employ people or not lor... Cos I think although they might want to employ a permanent staff.... they wouldn't mind employing someone temporary cos they got nothing to lose. They just need to put up the notice again after I leave.... So yar... and I thought... another place I could try my luck may be at china town cos CNY is coming... maybe they need extra staffs.... Then I just walked down the whole of orchard heading towards chinatown's direction lor.... HAha... another walking expedition for me :P So yar... walk pass plaza singapura.... and I lost my direction! haha... I don't know where to go.... I just followed my instinct..... then after a while... I came to a building that seems so familiar..... And when I turned around the corner.... I saw sim lim square! lol.... The place I am is at Berlington..... lol... no wonder it seems to familiar.... I got my first job interview there and also collect my first pay there... lol.... Cool hur... I went from one end of orchard and wandered all the way to bugis.... haha....
Then yar.... was walking pass this shop and saw the notice to employ people! :D Lol... I finally found a place that is hiring people :D Actually this was the second one that I saw.... The very first one I saw was from This Fashion... which I think I wouln't stand a chance to get the job cos of my gender... lol.... Anyway.... the job title also looks very familiar..... Sales Executive.... lol... Same as my previous job.... haha.... and guess wad... I'm still selling IT stuffs.... haha.... Think its my fate to love IT gadgets and also to find my employment from there.... lol....
So after talking with the boss about me only able to work till end of feb.... he agreed to give me the job.... The working hours are long.... from 10 in the morning till 9 at night..... And the pay isn't much either.... after some calculation its only $3+ per hour.... But well... still agreed to take on the job cos nvm lor.... Afterall my job don't seem too tedious.... Just like in economic concept..... My Marginal Revenue Product is low. I dun think I can sell one product every hour lor... So I guess my job pretty much slack lar.... haha... so why not? Rather than slacking at home and earn nothing... why not slack outside and get paid a little.... Another reason I took on this job cos they can let me work all the way till feb.... Then I dun have to keep finding job when one job ends.....
Hmm... so yar.... :)
After that I still want to accomplish my initial aim to get to china town... so I started walking again.... But hor... I kept going around in circles... lol..... After walking for some time I saw the famous temple at bugis... lol... that means I haven't left bugis area lor.... So I continue walking and guess whats the next thing I saw.... The national library.... lol... I'm still at bugis!!!! I turned another direction and started walking again... and guess wad.... I saw parco!!! lol.... K lar... I admit defeat... lol... then I made my way to bugis MRT and took a train home....
Then thats about it for today lar.... :)
Anyway... just wanna add something I saw on an advert.... there's this advert on the newpapers for paints... then they have this little colummn on the chinese zodiac for next year.... And for rabbit it says got 'tao hua yun' Means got love luck :D :D :D Haha... But I wonder how am I going to find my girl.... Cos next year I going army le! Lol... where got girl for me to find? Then I thought.... hmm.... since all the rabbits are going army next year.... and all rabbits have love luck.... then.... does that mean that all the rabbits gay together in army? lol.... just joking... haha.... anyway..... that means that love luck wun happen to my batch of rabbits lor.... haiz....
K lar.... thats all... gonna work tmr liao..... going to sleep.... bye :)
Today I was feeling better already... although still have some mucus that was stuck.... but I am able to speak rather clearly already... So I decided to pay a visit to the employment agencies. I took a bus down to orchard road. Visited Far east shopping center where the agencies are. And I was shocked. Actually not shocked.... just very much surprised... Haha... 90% of the so called employment agencies are crowded with foreign dark women.... without the need for introduction... I know they are foreign domestic helpers... in layman terms... maids.... Not that I want to sterotype lar... but its obvious.... So yar.... almost every of these so called employment agencies deals with finding employment for these foreign workers.... Then I just went off without entering any agency to ask for temp jobs lor. The thing that came to my mind was... "hello!? I'm no maid!! :S" lol.... why can't they just advertise as maid agency.... employment agency sounds so misleading.....
Anyway... after that I thought actually I don't really need to look for agency lar... afterall the job posting on the online job agencies are all admin and accounts position which I can't do... so I guess it would be the same at their shop ba..... Then I decided to keep a lookout to see if any shops put up notices to employ people or not lor... Cos I think although they might want to employ a permanent staff.... they wouldn't mind employing someone temporary cos they got nothing to lose. They just need to put up the notice again after I leave.... So yar... and I thought... another place I could try my luck may be at china town cos CNY is coming... maybe they need extra staffs.... Then I just walked down the whole of orchard heading towards chinatown's direction lor.... HAha... another walking expedition for me :P So yar... walk pass plaza singapura.... and I lost my direction! haha... I don't know where to go.... I just followed my instinct..... then after a while... I came to a building that seems so familiar..... And when I turned around the corner.... I saw sim lim square! lol.... The place I am is at Berlington..... lol... no wonder it seems to familiar.... I got my first job interview there and also collect my first pay there... lol.... Cool hur... I went from one end of orchard and wandered all the way to bugis.... haha....
Then yar.... was walking pass this shop and saw the notice to employ people! :D Lol... I finally found a place that is hiring people :D Actually this was the second one that I saw.... The very first one I saw was from This Fashion... which I think I wouln't stand a chance to get the job cos of my gender... lol.... Anyway.... the job title also looks very familiar..... Sales Executive.... lol... Same as my previous job.... haha.... and guess wad... I'm still selling IT stuffs.... haha.... Think its my fate to love IT gadgets and also to find my employment from there.... lol....
So after talking with the boss about me only able to work till end of feb.... he agreed to give me the job.... The working hours are long.... from 10 in the morning till 9 at night..... And the pay isn't much either.... after some calculation its only $3+ per hour.... But well... still agreed to take on the job cos nvm lor.... Afterall my job don't seem too tedious.... Just like in economic concept..... My Marginal Revenue Product is low. I dun think I can sell one product every hour lor... So I guess my job pretty much slack lar.... haha... so why not? Rather than slacking at home and earn nothing... why not slack outside and get paid a little.... Another reason I took on this job cos they can let me work all the way till feb.... Then I dun have to keep finding job when one job ends.....
Hmm... so yar.... :)
After that I still want to accomplish my initial aim to get to china town... so I started walking again.... But hor... I kept going around in circles... lol..... After walking for some time I saw the famous temple at bugis... lol... that means I haven't left bugis area lor.... So I continue walking and guess whats the next thing I saw.... The national library.... lol... I'm still at bugis!!!! I turned another direction and started walking again... and guess wad.... I saw parco!!! lol.... K lar... I admit defeat... lol... then I made my way to bugis MRT and took a train home....
Then thats about it for today lar.... :)
Anyway... just wanna add something I saw on an advert.... there's this advert on the newpapers for paints... then they have this little colummn on the chinese zodiac for next year.... And for rabbit it says got 'tao hua yun' Means got love luck :D :D :D Haha... But I wonder how am I going to find my girl.... Cos next year I going army le! Lol... where got girl for me to find? Then I thought.... hmm.... since all the rabbits are going army next year.... and all rabbits have love luck.... then.... does that mean that all the rabbits gay together in army? lol.... just joking... haha.... anyway..... that means that love luck wun happen to my batch of rabbits lor.... haiz....
K lar.... thats all... gonna work tmr liao..... going to sleep.... bye :)
Monday, December 19, 2005
Argh!!!! I missed project runway on channel 5!!!! sian.... lol... nvm.... hope I remember next week.... haiz....
Time goes pass so slowly recently... I am so so so so so bored at home!!!! Didn't go out today as I have not completely recovered. I can't even speak properly with all the mucus stuck in my nose... If everything is well tmr, then I might be going out le...
Haiz... actually I'm wondering... why am I trying so hard to get a job? Afterall its only another 2 months.... its not too long a time... so I just take one step at a time lor.... Got job... do... dun have... then nvm lor...
Sounds like I'm self-consoling... haha.... heck... even if it is.... nvm lor... just as long as I feel happy can liao :P
K lar... nothing much... bye...
Time goes pass so slowly recently... I am so so so so so bored at home!!!! Didn't go out today as I have not completely recovered. I can't even speak properly with all the mucus stuck in my nose... If everything is well tmr, then I might be going out le...
Haiz... actually I'm wondering... why am I trying so hard to get a job? Afterall its only another 2 months.... its not too long a time... so I just take one step at a time lor.... Got job... do... dun have... then nvm lor...
Sounds like I'm self-consoling... haha.... heck... even if it is.... nvm lor... just as long as I feel happy can liao :P
K lar... nothing much... bye...
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Just watched legally blond on channel 5.... Find that its quite a nice movie :) Haha.... although its quite unrealistic... but its still very entertaining :)
Am feeling better now.... Almost recovered. Hope that I can be completely well tmr... Going out tmr to visit employment agencies to see if I can find a job...
Anyway... haha... this news has been quite old already... but I didn't have the chance to share it.... After getting my christmas present from the government... I received my New Year present from them as well... :P HAha.... I got the eagles award :D haha.... another $150 for me :D Hmm... I wonder if there's any chinese new year ang bao from the government... Lol...
K lar... oh well... other than being happy about the money... I'm also glad as this shows that my efforts for the past 2 years have paid off. For the academic aspect... well.. this has to wait till the A lvls result is out before I safely say I've made it.... But for the CCA... :) Am very glad that I got recognised. I've tried to be more active in my CCA for the past 2 years.... I don't want to be like what I did in sec school... always so slack.... nv try to participate more... You know... my badges for NPCC.... only fill up the first row and one additional one on top lor... while others have more than that... its kind of embarrassing when the lower ranked juniors have more than u... lol... So in jc... I took part in almost every competition that comes by.... although I didn't win any of them :P Haha... but nvm lor... at least got participate.
Other than my own effort... without the people whom recognise my effort and gave me the opportunities. I wouldn't go far... Like the old saying. A thousand li horse also need buo le appreciation. (I think is buo le lar... haha... not too sure :S) So yar... have to thank the teachers that help me along.
Hmm... I also want to make this comment quite a long time ago but I kept forgetting it.... You know... being jobless... I've been staying at home and rotting away... so I watched Kids central... Then I find sometime rather interesting... It seems that the bad guys are getting stronger and stronger... Initially batman, superman and all the other superheros have their own show and their own enemies... and always managed to beat them on their own. But recently.... their enemies grew so strong that they have to form alliance to defeat one villain... And its called the Justice League comprising of around 8 superheros.... However that doesen't seem enough... the enemy is growing even stronger... and they now have Justice league unlimited.... It has a whole hord of superheros as its members.... Some never seen before ones too... I was like... wow.... its either the enemy are really getting so strong... or the heros are getting weaker.... Haha... I wonder what would be next? Perhaps alliance between characters from different comic producers? Like having the X-men and ninja turtles join in as well? Lol... that would be real interesting... haha....
Hmm... on a more serious note..... Have our threshold for violence being moved higher again? In the past. One hero is sufficient to provide enough violence to satisfy us. But now.... We need a whole hord to them wrecking buildings and punching each other to get us satisfied. How far do we need to go before killing someone is nothing more than crushing an ant? Thats food for thought :) If you have any comments u wanna make. Feel free to express urself in the shoutbox. If what u wanna say gets too long to fit into the shoutbox. Do drop me an e-mail and I'll put it up in a blog entry :)
K lar... thats about all for today... bye :) Have a nice week ahead.
Am feeling better now.... Almost recovered. Hope that I can be completely well tmr... Going out tmr to visit employment agencies to see if I can find a job...
Anyway... haha... this news has been quite old already... but I didn't have the chance to share it.... After getting my christmas present from the government... I received my New Year present from them as well... :P HAha.... I got the eagles award :D haha.... another $150 for me :D Hmm... I wonder if there's any chinese new year ang bao from the government... Lol...
K lar... oh well... other than being happy about the money... I'm also glad as this shows that my efforts for the past 2 years have paid off. For the academic aspect... well.. this has to wait till the A lvls result is out before I safely say I've made it.... But for the CCA... :) Am very glad that I got recognised. I've tried to be more active in my CCA for the past 2 years.... I don't want to be like what I did in sec school... always so slack.... nv try to participate more... You know... my badges for NPCC.... only fill up the first row and one additional one on top lor... while others have more than that... its kind of embarrassing when the lower ranked juniors have more than u... lol... So in jc... I took part in almost every competition that comes by.... although I didn't win any of them :P Haha... but nvm lor... at least got participate.
Other than my own effort... without the people whom recognise my effort and gave me the opportunities. I wouldn't go far... Like the old saying. A thousand li horse also need buo le appreciation. (I think is buo le lar... haha... not too sure :S) So yar... have to thank the teachers that help me along.
Hmm... I also want to make this comment quite a long time ago but I kept forgetting it.... You know... being jobless... I've been staying at home and rotting away... so I watched Kids central... Then I find sometime rather interesting... It seems that the bad guys are getting stronger and stronger... Initially batman, superman and all the other superheros have their own show and their own enemies... and always managed to beat them on their own. But recently.... their enemies grew so strong that they have to form alliance to defeat one villain... And its called the Justice League comprising of around 8 superheros.... However that doesen't seem enough... the enemy is growing even stronger... and they now have Justice league unlimited.... It has a whole hord of superheros as its members.... Some never seen before ones too... I was like... wow.... its either the enemy are really getting so strong... or the heros are getting weaker.... Haha... I wonder what would be next? Perhaps alliance between characters from different comic producers? Like having the X-men and ninja turtles join in as well? Lol... that would be real interesting... haha....
Hmm... on a more serious note..... Have our threshold for violence being moved higher again? In the past. One hero is sufficient to provide enough violence to satisfy us. But now.... We need a whole hord to them wrecking buildings and punching each other to get us satisfied. How far do we need to go before killing someone is nothing more than crushing an ant? Thats food for thought :) If you have any comments u wanna make. Feel free to express urself in the shoutbox. If what u wanna say gets too long to fit into the shoutbox. Do drop me an e-mail and I'll put it up in a blog entry :)
K lar... thats about all for today... bye :) Have a nice week ahead.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Hmm... I seems that I have sort of a phobia of talking over the phone... :S I've search up the list of phobias but can't find one for my type of phobia.... There are 2 the come closest....
Phonophobia- Fear of noises or voices or one's own voice; of telephones.
Telephonophobia- Fear of telephones.
First one... hmm... I'm only afraid of voices heard over the phone... not every sound that I hear....
Second one... I'm not afraid of the telephones... only talking tru it....
So yar... haha... maybe I can initiate one more phobia to add on to the list of phobias... maybe call it bkphobia? Dun be mistaken.... its not a phobia of me... lol...
I kind of realised this phobia quite some time ago... only recently it became a problem to me as I have to call up companies to ask for more information about their job offers... I have to like ready myself... and kind of force myself to make the call by telling myself that I won't be able to get any job if I dun even dare to call and ask about it....
This explains why, even towards my friends... I'm unwilling to call them... whenever possible I would use SMS to convey my msg..... I only call when there's a immediate urgent need to get their reply.... Kind of sad hur.....
Well... I tried to ask myself what am I afraid of.... and I got to 2 conclusion.....
First one... It maybe because since young... I've been kept away from calling my friends for too long..... During my primary school days... I used to talk over the phone with my friends..... Then my grandma dosen't like it.... so sometimes she would pick up my phone and scold my friends.... I always feel so embarrassed..... after some time... I stopped talking over the phone already.... except when I have to covey an urgent msg.... even in such a case.... its always kept short... nothing more....
When I moved on to secondary school... MSN came into my life... and replaced my mode of communication..... I can log on to the net for hours and chat online without my grandma stopping me.... She just thought that I'm playing games.... and she also can't scold my friends cos she can't type....
When msn chatting when out of trend.... Its the time where handphones become a commodity.... I also got my handphone... and since then.... sms has slowly replaced msn as my piority choice of communication....
So yar.... from primary school... I've been isolated from the use of phones.... till now... it has been like a total of 9 years? ( I started talking over the phone when I'm in pri 4 I think) 9 years is a long long time.... and this isolation slowly turned into fear.... as talking over the phone seems to alien to me....
The second conclusion is that I have very low self confidence.... I care too much about how others think of me... By talking over the phone I can't see the person's expression and his body language... I don't know what they are thinking of me.... There is too much uncertainty.... and this breeds the fear in me....
The reason why I lack self confidence may be due to up childhood again... but thats another entry for another time.....
And now that I know of the reasons of my fear... what do I do about them? Well.. there's actually nothing much that I can do... Whenever the need comes to make a phone call... I'll just force myself to do it... And hopefully someday... I can finally get used to making phone calls....
Haiz.... I know its very pathetic to me afraid of making phone calls especially in this world where uncountable phone calls are made at every instant and the phone is just an extension of the mouth.... But what to do?
K lar... thats all for now... bye~
Phonophobia- Fear of noises or voices or one's own voice; of telephones.
Telephonophobia- Fear of telephones.
First one... hmm... I'm only afraid of voices heard over the phone... not every sound that I hear....
Second one... I'm not afraid of the telephones... only talking tru it....
So yar... haha... maybe I can initiate one more phobia to add on to the list of phobias... maybe call it bkphobia? Dun be mistaken.... its not a phobia of me... lol...
I kind of realised this phobia quite some time ago... only recently it became a problem to me as I have to call up companies to ask for more information about their job offers... I have to like ready myself... and kind of force myself to make the call by telling myself that I won't be able to get any job if I dun even dare to call and ask about it....
This explains why, even towards my friends... I'm unwilling to call them... whenever possible I would use SMS to convey my msg..... I only call when there's a immediate urgent need to get their reply.... Kind of sad hur.....
Well... I tried to ask myself what am I afraid of.... and I got to 2 conclusion.....
First one... It maybe because since young... I've been kept away from calling my friends for too long..... During my primary school days... I used to talk over the phone with my friends..... Then my grandma dosen't like it.... so sometimes she would pick up my phone and scold my friends.... I always feel so embarrassed..... after some time... I stopped talking over the phone already.... except when I have to covey an urgent msg.... even in such a case.... its always kept short... nothing more....
When I moved on to secondary school... MSN came into my life... and replaced my mode of communication..... I can log on to the net for hours and chat online without my grandma stopping me.... She just thought that I'm playing games.... and she also can't scold my friends cos she can't type....
When msn chatting when out of trend.... Its the time where handphones become a commodity.... I also got my handphone... and since then.... sms has slowly replaced msn as my piority choice of communication....
So yar.... from primary school... I've been isolated from the use of phones.... till now... it has been like a total of 9 years? ( I started talking over the phone when I'm in pri 4 I think) 9 years is a long long time.... and this isolation slowly turned into fear.... as talking over the phone seems to alien to me....
The second conclusion is that I have very low self confidence.... I care too much about how others think of me... By talking over the phone I can't see the person's expression and his body language... I don't know what they are thinking of me.... There is too much uncertainty.... and this breeds the fear in me....
The reason why I lack self confidence may be due to up childhood again... but thats another entry for another time.....
And now that I know of the reasons of my fear... what do I do about them? Well.. there's actually nothing much that I can do... Whenever the need comes to make a phone call... I'll just force myself to do it... And hopefully someday... I can finally get used to making phone calls....
Haiz.... I know its very pathetic to me afraid of making phone calls especially in this world where uncountable phone calls are made at every instant and the phone is just an extension of the mouth.... But what to do?
K lar... thats all for now... bye~
Friday, December 16, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
My com is kind of being weird lately.... sometimes working sometimes not... then it dosen't seem to be a virus doing as well.... Tried scanning my system with all avaliable scanners and find nothing.... Guess it isn't a virus as the problem starts before windows even powers up.....
Anyway.... nothing much lar... still jobless... haiz... see how ba.... hope to get a job by the end of dec....
Bye~
Anyway.... nothing much lar... still jobless... haiz... see how ba.... hope to get a job by the end of dec....
Bye~
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Has been some time since I last blogged :) Hmm.... nothing much happened recently... stayed at home.... slacked... looking at recruit everyday.... sian.... lol....
Haiz... it seems like there arn't much interesting jobs to do leh... I wanted to do some accounting or admin work... but they require accounting knowledge with I dun have.... Other than that thought of doing some cashier work... but the places are all in the east... too far away from me.... The rest are all sales and promoters jobs... which I dun wish to take on... I wanted to try something else.... Then there are also some packaging work... but the time period is only in jan... So I'll have the remaining dec free and then the entire feb free.... Then thats about all the temp jobs available lor.... haiz...
Well.... maybe I'll make a trip to some employment agencies to see if they can find me a job for that 2 months....
thats about all for me lar.....
Anyway... I just realised that luqman (from css 4/6 ) went for NS liao.... thats really fast... lol... he went in on the 2nd of dec..... Which means while I'm typing now... he is training in tekong.... :S I kind of have this weird feeling when I imagine what he would be doing in tekong at this moment in time when I'm typing.... haha.... he's the first person I knew whom went for NS already....
Hmm.... very fast lar... in like 2 more months... I'll be in too....
K lar... thats about all for now... bye....
Haiz... it seems like there arn't much interesting jobs to do leh... I wanted to do some accounting or admin work... but they require accounting knowledge with I dun have.... Other than that thought of doing some cashier work... but the places are all in the east... too far away from me.... The rest are all sales and promoters jobs... which I dun wish to take on... I wanted to try something else.... Then there are also some packaging work... but the time period is only in jan... So I'll have the remaining dec free and then the entire feb free.... Then thats about all the temp jobs available lor.... haiz...
Well.... maybe I'll make a trip to some employment agencies to see if they can find me a job for that 2 months....
thats about all for me lar.....
Anyway... I just realised that luqman (from css 4/6 ) went for NS liao.... thats really fast... lol... he went in on the 2nd of dec..... Which means while I'm typing now... he is training in tekong.... :S I kind of have this weird feeling when I imagine what he would be doing in tekong at this moment in time when I'm typing.... haha.... he's the first person I knew whom went for NS already....
Hmm.... very fast lar... in like 2 more months... I'll be in too....
K lar... thats about all for now... bye....
Saturday, December 10, 2005
I'm back :D haha.... seems that no one misses me... no new messages in the shoutbox.... aww... so sad... :P
Anyway.... the trip was quite fun :) Especially the food... haha... ate a lot for the past few days... We had buffet in the morning.... fast food in the afternoon... then buffet again for dinner... then fast food again for supper... lol...
then also played at the theme park lor.... but the queue was very long.... we had to like spend 1 hr queueing for a ride thats only a few minutes... Then somemore the weather was bad... kept raining... then the rides all closed... didn't get to play much.... but... still managed to have a go at all the rides lar :)
I also try to enter the casino... but... haha... didn't succeed... I go in... then the person say.... IC? ... then I say nv bring :S ... He said bring it next time.... then showed me the way out... haiz... lol... nvm lar... wait a few more years I can 'guang ming zhen da' go in liao :P Haha....
well... thats about all ba :)
Now come back liao have to go job hunting already :) Have to faster find a job... otherwise I will be bored to death at home...
K lar... nothing else liao.... bye~
Anyway.... the trip was quite fun :) Especially the food... haha... ate a lot for the past few days... We had buffet in the morning.... fast food in the afternoon... then buffet again for dinner... then fast food again for supper... lol...
then also played at the theme park lor.... but the queue was very long.... we had to like spend 1 hr queueing for a ride thats only a few minutes... Then somemore the weather was bad... kept raining... then the rides all closed... didn't get to play much.... but... still managed to have a go at all the rides lar :)
I also try to enter the casino... but... haha... didn't succeed... I go in... then the person say.... IC? ... then I say nv bring :S ... He said bring it next time.... then showed me the way out... haiz... lol... nvm lar... wait a few more years I can 'guang ming zhen da' go in liao :P Haha....
well... thats about all ba :)
Now come back liao have to go job hunting already :) Have to faster find a job... otherwise I will be bored to death at home...
K lar... nothing else liao.... bye~
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Things are really getting ugly... HAiz... am just very dissappointed at someone... Anyway... dun want to talk about it le.... not worth my effort.....
OKay... well.. gonna leave sg tonight le :) HAha... got like 3 days won't be seeing me blog le... Lol... will miss me or not? K lar... I guess nobody does... well... nvm... just in case someone misses me... you can leave a msg in my shoutbox :)
was playing AOE yesterday... and was so sian... after thrashing the enemy until they cry surrender... I started to do some lame thing... Haha... I mass build villigers to go chop down trees... Lol... I mass deforested my area.... Then after that... still very sian... so I ask my builders to build a wall... showing... "BK WAS HERE" lol.... k lar.. I very lame.... haha... here are the screen shots... with that... I end this entry :)
OKay... well.. gonna leave sg tonight le :) HAha... got like 3 days won't be seeing me blog le... Lol... will miss me or not? K lar... I guess nobody does... well... nvm... just in case someone misses me... you can leave a msg in my shoutbox :)
was playing AOE yesterday... and was so sian... after thrashing the enemy until they cry surrender... I started to do some lame thing... Haha... I mass build villigers to go chop down trees... Lol... I mass deforested my area.... Then after that... still very sian... so I ask my builders to build a wall... showing... "BK WAS HERE" lol.... k lar.. I very lame.... haha... here are the screen shots... with that... I end this entry :)
Monday, December 05, 2005
hmm.... have been reading quite a lot about the Van Nyuen case in forums online....
Here's my stand on this incident... HANG HIM! lol.... This incident should act as a deterrent to other drug traffickers... Dun even use singapore as a transit to other countries... I won't want any drugs to land on singapore soil... I love singapore and the safe environment here.... and I dun wish for anything that could threaten this safeness to land on our territory... shoo! U want to bring drugs back to ur own country so be it... but dun ever come or even transit in singapore....
K lar.... thats all that I have to say... bye :)
Here's my stand on this incident... HANG HIM! lol.... This incident should act as a deterrent to other drug traffickers... Dun even use singapore as a transit to other countries... I won't want any drugs to land on singapore soil... I love singapore and the safe environment here.... and I dun wish for anything that could threaten this safeness to land on our territory... shoo! U want to bring drugs back to ur own country so be it... but dun ever come or even transit in singapore....
K lar.... thats all that I have to say... bye :)
Sunday, December 04, 2005
In view of recent events.... which I am not at liberty to comment or blog about... I made this piece of work :) Its a lesson that I've learnt... painfully....
This piece won't be up in my gallery as its not that great anyway.... Its a second piece of event inspired work.... (the first one was "Giving but not receiving") Haha... It has also been a long time since I touched chinese calligraphy :P I learnt it when I was in primary school... That time I was still living in jurong west. I attended a chinese painting course at a community center there. We were taught chinese painting 3 times a month... once per week... and for the last week of the month, we were taught calligraphy. After quite some time... I slowly picked up painting... but my calligraphy still sucks... lol... But still... I managed to learnt some basic stuffs :P Hope that I will have a chance to improve it in future :) It was a pity as that time I stopped learning cos I was moving to yew tee... Its very troublesome for me to travel all the way down every week to have the lesson. I really enjoyed the lesson... and have been a model student... lol... sound a bit buay hiao bai... haha... but really... I was always the earliest to arrive... and then I will how to say... erm... grind the ink? for the teacher...
hmm... k lar... lets move on to other topics :)
Well... I think I'm gaining a lot of weight in recent weeks... lol... My tummy starts to grow liao!!! You know... now I'm sitting down... blogging... and I feel like I have a watermelon at my abdomen?... lol... =X haven't been exercising regularly.... And I don't do much physical work as well... so... haha... all the fats are storing up liao.... hmm... maybe I really need to go exercise abit more :P
Anyway... yay.... my genting trip finally here liao... haha... leaving sg on a tuesday night... Actually hor... I'm not really looking forward to the trip... instead... I'm looking forward to getting a job when I come back from the trip... lol... always wanted to get a job... and finally... when this trip is over... I can get one :D haha.... cos yar.... really want to find something to do... everyday stay at home so sian... go work at least got collegues to talk to....
Also... I find that I've been sleeping late... and waking up late as well... haiz.... this is bad for the body.... Think from now on have to set a limit liao... Before 12 must get to sleep. :D
K lar.. nothing much liao.... the coming week is gonna be a fast one for me... when I get back from my trip... its the end of the week liao... So yar... wish all a enjoyable week ahead :) Bye~
This piece won't be up in my gallery as its not that great anyway.... Its a second piece of event inspired work.... (the first one was "Giving but not receiving") Haha... It has also been a long time since I touched chinese calligraphy :P I learnt it when I was in primary school... That time I was still living in jurong west. I attended a chinese painting course at a community center there. We were taught chinese painting 3 times a month... once per week... and for the last week of the month, we were taught calligraphy. After quite some time... I slowly picked up painting... but my calligraphy still sucks... lol... But still... I managed to learnt some basic stuffs :P Hope that I will have a chance to improve it in future :) It was a pity as that time I stopped learning cos I was moving to yew tee... Its very troublesome for me to travel all the way down every week to have the lesson. I really enjoyed the lesson... and have been a model student... lol... sound a bit buay hiao bai... haha... but really... I was always the earliest to arrive... and then I will how to say... erm... grind the ink? for the teacher...
hmm... k lar... lets move on to other topics :)
Well... I think I'm gaining a lot of weight in recent weeks... lol... My tummy starts to grow liao!!! You know... now I'm sitting down... blogging... and I feel like I have a watermelon at my abdomen?... lol... =X haven't been exercising regularly.... And I don't do much physical work as well... so... haha... all the fats are storing up liao.... hmm... maybe I really need to go exercise abit more :P
Anyway... yay.... my genting trip finally here liao... haha... leaving sg on a tuesday night... Actually hor... I'm not really looking forward to the trip... instead... I'm looking forward to getting a job when I come back from the trip... lol... always wanted to get a job... and finally... when this trip is over... I can get one :D haha.... cos yar.... really want to find something to do... everyday stay at home so sian... go work at least got collegues to talk to....
Also... I find that I've been sleeping late... and waking up late as well... haiz.... this is bad for the body.... Think from now on have to set a limit liao... Before 12 must get to sleep. :D
K lar.. nothing much liao.... the coming week is gonna be a fast one for me... when I get back from my trip... its the end of the week liao... So yar... wish all a enjoyable week ahead :) Bye~
Friday, December 02, 2005
Had our YJC prom night 2005 yesterday night at the Grand Hyate :) Haha... it was okay lar... not exactly fun... but not boring too...
Was supposed to meet kerling first then go down together... but as usual... he was late... duno why everyone likes to be late.... anyway... then I had to go down on my own lor... went to take the train.... at first I didn't dare to step out of the house lor... I feel so akward... lol... but haiz... no choice lar... so I made a beeline to the mrt station... haha... luckily I got a seat right at the end of the train at a corner... :P So I was able to stay out of sight to some people... Then after a few stops, a lady came on board and sat beside me... She was also wearing until very nice lar :) Haha... so I kind of feel better... at least I'm not the only one dressed until like that in the train lor :)
Then I reached orchard and went to the hotel... I was the earliest of my group to come lor... I thought I would be late lor... almost took a cab down... but in the end... I was just on time... and the others were late... loitered around for a while before I saw elgin.... Then yar... when almost all came... we went up to take our seats lor...
The dinner was okay lar... edible... lol... I find the dished all abit salty.... And quite a number of them were spicy... the flavoring of everything was also too strong... Then they have live band performance... Which were too loud and we all had trouble speaking to each other... The whole thing is not matching lor... We wear western suites... eat chinese cusine and listen to rock music.... Other than that there were some table games... actually... there was only 1.... lol... and there were also lucky draw lar... :) As usual... I didn't win anything.... think I'm really fated not to win anything by luck.... haiz... haha... but nvm.... anyway... kerling won the 4th prize... it was a mini fridge.... lol... the way he won the prize was very funny... lol.... can't really describe it... but it was an very unexpected win for him..... haha....
After which we went to k-box to spend the night.... sang until 5.30 in the morning... lol.... kerling and andy both already had sore throat... then they sang until their voice very coarse... sing abit longer can become Ah-Do liao... lol... then I also quite sian liao lar... at the end only like read the words and mumbling to the tunes....
So yar... after 5.30 we went off le.... wanted to take a train home... but the service haven't start.... But its kind of weird leh.. 5.30 service haven't start meh? Last time sec school I take train at 6 one leh... sometimes NPCC have to reach earlier I even too a train before 6 lor..... and I dun think I'm taking the first train... so there should be trains that are even ealier lor.... but nvm... since there's no train yet... we went to the bus stop to wait for the first bus lo.... Kerling took a bus home then me and andy shared a cab home....
Thats all ba..... :)
Anyway... recently there was 2 things that I want to comment about.... Its just my personal opinion lar... I don't mean to make enemies or whatever... but.... just to share my views. I won't be saying who the person is... but... if the person ever came to my blog and saw this and somehow know that I'm speaking about him/her.... then... just take it as I'm offerning a third party view of the matter and I hope that I wouldn't influence u if you have already thought clearly and made your decision. No matter what decision you make... I will still respect it....
OKay... first thing... to a friend... erm... just wanna say that please have more self discipline. There are some things that you do are really too much.... it would lead you down to a deeper and darker path... Yes.... its perfectly alright to have fun and especially if you can afford it.... but there should be a limit to what you should do... Some things are really beyond what we can handle... Perhaps you can take a look around our group of friends... even though they also play alot... but there are some things that they know shouldn't be done. So yar... hope that this friend would not sink deeper.... You have a bright future, given ur status... you already have a headstart against others... so don't waste it away.... There are many people whom can only pray and wish that they have what you have.... So yar.... take some time to think about it. :)
Another one is a relationship between 2 person I know that I don't really approve.... I believe that the both of you have to really think properly lor... Its not like those TV dramas that love can overcome anything lor... Both of you are going to have a lot of problems facing the society in future... people will point fingers and gossip behind your backs.... In this society... yes... although we are more civilised and perhaps more open... but comparatively against other countries.... the singapore society is still very conservative. It won't be easy to go against the social norms. I'm not trying to break the both of you up lar... I'm just asking you all to really consider your future together.... If you all think that, yes... you can stand up against the social norms... and can ignore all the gossips and finger pointing behind your back... then.... fine... I will respect your decision and from the depth of my heart... wish you all a sweet future together....
K lar... thats all for now... bye :)
Was supposed to meet kerling first then go down together... but as usual... he was late... duno why everyone likes to be late.... anyway... then I had to go down on my own lor... went to take the train.... at first I didn't dare to step out of the house lor... I feel so akward... lol... but haiz... no choice lar... so I made a beeline to the mrt station... haha... luckily I got a seat right at the end of the train at a corner... :P So I was able to stay out of sight to some people... Then after a few stops, a lady came on board and sat beside me... She was also wearing until very nice lar :) Haha... so I kind of feel better... at least I'm not the only one dressed until like that in the train lor :)
Then I reached orchard and went to the hotel... I was the earliest of my group to come lor... I thought I would be late lor... almost took a cab down... but in the end... I was just on time... and the others were late... loitered around for a while before I saw elgin.... Then yar... when almost all came... we went up to take our seats lor...
The dinner was okay lar... edible... lol... I find the dished all abit salty.... And quite a number of them were spicy... the flavoring of everything was also too strong... Then they have live band performance... Which were too loud and we all had trouble speaking to each other... The whole thing is not matching lor... We wear western suites... eat chinese cusine and listen to rock music.... Other than that there were some table games... actually... there was only 1.... lol... and there were also lucky draw lar... :) As usual... I didn't win anything.... think I'm really fated not to win anything by luck.... haiz... haha... but nvm.... anyway... kerling won the 4th prize... it was a mini fridge.... lol... the way he won the prize was very funny... lol.... can't really describe it... but it was an very unexpected win for him..... haha....
After which we went to k-box to spend the night.... sang until 5.30 in the morning... lol.... kerling and andy both already had sore throat... then they sang until their voice very coarse... sing abit longer can become Ah-Do liao... lol... then I also quite sian liao lar... at the end only like read the words and mumbling to the tunes....
So yar... after 5.30 we went off le.... wanted to take a train home... but the service haven't start.... But its kind of weird leh.. 5.30 service haven't start meh? Last time sec school I take train at 6 one leh... sometimes NPCC have to reach earlier I even too a train before 6 lor..... and I dun think I'm taking the first train... so there should be trains that are even ealier lor.... but nvm... since there's no train yet... we went to the bus stop to wait for the first bus lo.... Kerling took a bus home then me and andy shared a cab home....
Thats all ba..... :)
Anyway... recently there was 2 things that I want to comment about.... Its just my personal opinion lar... I don't mean to make enemies or whatever... but.... just to share my views. I won't be saying who the person is... but... if the person ever came to my blog and saw this and somehow know that I'm speaking about him/her.... then... just take it as I'm offerning a third party view of the matter and I hope that I wouldn't influence u if you have already thought clearly and made your decision. No matter what decision you make... I will still respect it....
OKay... first thing... to a friend... erm... just wanna say that please have more self discipline. There are some things that you do are really too much.... it would lead you down to a deeper and darker path... Yes.... its perfectly alright to have fun and especially if you can afford it.... but there should be a limit to what you should do... Some things are really beyond what we can handle... Perhaps you can take a look around our group of friends... even though they also play alot... but there are some things that they know shouldn't be done. So yar... hope that this friend would not sink deeper.... You have a bright future, given ur status... you already have a headstart against others... so don't waste it away.... There are many people whom can only pray and wish that they have what you have.... So yar.... take some time to think about it. :)
Another one is a relationship between 2 person I know that I don't really approve.... I believe that the both of you have to really think properly lor... Its not like those TV dramas that love can overcome anything lor... Both of you are going to have a lot of problems facing the society in future... people will point fingers and gossip behind your backs.... In this society... yes... although we are more civilised and perhaps more open... but comparatively against other countries.... the singapore society is still very conservative. It won't be easy to go against the social norms. I'm not trying to break the both of you up lar... I'm just asking you all to really consider your future together.... If you all think that, yes... you can stand up against the social norms... and can ignore all the gossips and finger pointing behind your back... then.... fine... I will respect your decision and from the depth of my heart... wish you all a sweet future together....
K lar... thats all for now... bye :)
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