Haiz... has been quite some time since my last entry.
Life really sux these few days..... things are all going wrong..... I'm having headaches now and then.... so much things to do. So little time..... I am really very very tired now.
My head is aching now as I type. What has happen to me? Have I reach my limits? This pain in my mind..... what should I do? or rather, what can I not do? I really hate this kind of life I'm leading now. I want to be like what I was in my secondary and primary school. Live each day without worries. I must learn to take things easy.
I wanted to try out a different life..... but it seems that I'm not suitable for it and I reach my limits. I no longer have energy to strive for more. I've exhausted all my will power... my energy.... Life like this terrible. I've learned my lesson. Enough is enough. You know, I haven't been really happy for a long long time. Everyday in school, yar, I laugh, but.... this kind of laugher dosen't come from with-in. its just other people laugh, you laugh with them. Wad has happen to my cheerfulness? My optimism to life? Have I chose the wrong path to take? I really miss the life I used to lead before.
A normal life can be meaningful, why bother to take part in so much things to make life difficult for yourself? Argh... this pain.... its back again..... I really need a break, otherwise at this rate..... I may damage my brain.....
You know, I tried to take breaks whenever I can.... but it dosen't seem to be effective. Sometimes like, when there are not too much homework. I will rest for that night, don't do any homework. Then get some sleep. But.... haiz.... it is not effective!!!! I'm really in need of some help here........
Just thinking..... when was the last time I did something which I liked? When was the last time I truly laughed? When was the last time I slept without worries? From what I can remember, it was during the OBS camp, the china trip. Where I had nothing to worry about, no deadlines to rush. Why can't life be that simple. Or is life already simple, just that I made it difficult for myself? Yes, it was I who made life difficult......
Okay, heres what I shall try to do..... I shall live each day without worries. Do what I can each day, don't over stress myself. Try to be happy. Put happiness as the top piority. I SHALL NOT WORRY TOO MUCH ANYMORE!!!!
lets just see if someone can really live a life without worries. Haiz... hope my next entry would contain good memories :)