Happy new year! Congrats to earth for orbiting another successful round around the sun. Haha... K lar... kind of lame... but I was just wondering, why are we celebrating the new year? Perhaps it is to mark another period in the short life span of humans.

For the next coming frame of 1 year. Here are the little resolution of a little human living in the big and vast world...

First thing... I dun want to spent the next new year eve at home again! Think I have been spending it at home for the past few years liao... So here are some plans and actions to take. I would like to get to know more people. I would be considering doing some volunteering work during the weekends. Or maybe take up some lessons. Like that I wun be wasting my time at home too... at least can get out and know more people. Another thing is to get my current contacts organised. came to realise the fact that my mind cannot store too much information. If I imagine my mind to my a computer. I would have very small hard disk space, average processor speed and very high ram... haha... cos I cannot store information, cannot think too quickly, can solve problems after a long processing time, but then cannot store information after I process it... So yar... decided to get a personal assistant... a digital one... haha... When the next opportunity comes, I would like to get a simple PDA to help manage my contacts and to do list. Cos really... my mind and memory really very bad. Only 2 years never get in contact I can forget a friend's name and even where I've met him... So yar... I think very soon I will forget all of you guys... haha... then also I realised that I never remember any of my friends birthday.... Quite sad right... not even a single person leh. So yar... hope it will improve things.

Secondly... I would like to take up a new performing skill. Cos now my skills cannot be shown to others as a performance. Just like I'm good at art so wad... I can't perform with it... So I would like to learn something like piano... or perhaps even magic.

next I would wish for the better life in the army... now quite sian and dissappointed in it lar... so yar... hope in the new year things will get better.

K lar... last but not least... wish everyone stay happy and healthy always :)

See ya~

Its almost the end of the year again. :) Another year passed just like that. Well. Although there is still 1 more day to go before the year finally comes to a close. But I shall do my year end reflection and summary now :D Well... This is quite an eventful and exciting year. Although it seems to have passed long ago, it still hasn't been a year yet.

First up... 09 March 2006... Enlistment!
Haha... this is a date that I won't forget that easily. Haha... Its the start of a 2 year journey in almost every singaporean guy's life. Till today, it has already been like 9 months in the army liao. Many things have happened... and indeed... it was really alot..... Experienced quite a lot in the army. The days in BMT at Ulysses coy... the heavenly days at SMM.... and now... the working days at AETC. Things are starting to get boring now in the army. Life is mundane, or perhaps, there isn't any life at all... haha... everyday wake up do the same things. Then everyday thinking about how to slack off or hide somewhere without getting caught.... haha... Now... no feeling to work leh. No motivation. Actually... its more like somethings made me very dissappointed and unhappy about work... Thats why I dun feel like working anymore. If I am like working outside I would have quitted long ago. Its not because the workload is too much or I want to slack. I dun mind working hard. Something just happened that made me very dissappointed lar.. dun want to talk about it. Anyway... yar... I guess the fun part of my army life is over, along with the harsh part. The days during BMT, though was hard, but fun. Really... Didn't appreciate it during that time. But now thinking of it... its a very nice experience. Following that I'm very grateful to be posted to medic course. Not just because its slack... but also for the knowledge. Its a knowledge that I would actually like to have although I'm lousy in bio and have a strong dislike for large quantity of blood. Other than that, you also get to see more things as a medic. You are no longer a man in a platoon. You are able to step out of it and look at things in a larger perspective. And yar... its a nice thing to be able to do.

K... other than that... the next big event that happened only this year but seemed so long ago is the release of the A lvls result! :D Although I've already been through 2 major exams... the PSLE and the O lvls... this was different. The pressure is on as there is no alternative route to go if I dun do well. The only way was to press forward and upwards. And thus, the stress level is also there. On that lovely morning.... I receive a plesant call from the school that set my heart pounding... could it really be? haha... I could still remember that morning very vividly. The excitement and the anxiousness. It was unexpected that I would earn such honour... although frankly, I always dream and fantasize about it... haha... Anyway... yar... its one of the major events that mark 2006 and my life.

2006 is indeed filled with fun and excitement. I would say... perhaps one the the best years so far... With this, I think we can now bring 2006 to a close. 2007, a brand new beginning. I shall write on the expectation and resolution in my next entry :) Bye~

Yo, quite some time nv blog liao. Enjoying my block leave now :D Haha... shiok sia.... Can live 1 week of civilian life... Woho~ K lar... just have bear with it for a while longer. By the time I report back would be in the year 2007 liao! Haha... much closer to ORD liao. Just have to count down till end of the year cos I think the last 3 mths would pass quite fast. Or rather, I can bluff myself that I only left 1 year of service cos I just need to look forward to the block leave at the end of the year again, and then... :D I can go into ORD mood liao :D

The past few days of my holiday was quite nice lar :) Sang alot... haha... but then my singing still cannot make it... :S must practise more.... Then also did my first fake oil painting... lol... It was a budget painting. Instead of a pretty canvas, I bought cloth for curtains... haha... then also used acrylic paint instead of oil paint.... The result is okay lar.... one word to describe... budget... haha.... Although got the 'feeling' of oil paint, but it still lacks something that makes it a true oil painting.

Nothing much lar... plan to go shopping tmr, but then have to depend on the weather lar. Hope it won't rain... then tmr go out and see if there is any post christmas sales to grab some goodies :P

K lar... thats all for now... bye :)

SIAN AR!!!!!!! got to book in again tmr... haiz... I dun want... lol... Have been enjoying too much lately... now dun want to go back liao... haha.... k lar... nothing much... this week might be having cover for the whole week... Might only lar, not confirmed cos not on black and white paper... But most probably is got lar... Although its abit sian... but okay lar... like that time will past faster...

K lar.. nothing much... sian...

After some thoughts, I guess I won't go ahead with the litbud idea anymore. Guess its potential is quite limited. I am changing the direction I'm heading now. Instead on just focusing on litbud, I will diverse out to start a designing business. Litbud will still exist as a micro part of the new concept. I will still do character design and more.

There are a few factors that caused me to change. Firstly, I stumbled upon this website www.mojizu.com which has a collection of different character designed and contributed by other users. While browsing through the designs, I suddenly feel that litbud is so small and insignificant in this vast arena of character design. There are so many characters out there vying for a chance to get famous. My litbud would not stand out against them.

So I went back to analyse the growth potential of litbud and realised that its very limited, I'm almost touching the ceiling for it already. In the long term, nothing much can be done to develope it futher. It has already gone from just plain doodling on paper to having a website dedicated to itself. Anything more may be just creating a soft toy for it... So yar... I can't build a business just based on litbud alone...

Now I came up with a new concept. I will create a umbrella website encompassing all aspects of my designs. Then there will be a section for character design, and each character will own a small micro site dedicated to them. There will also be other sections for the other designs, which is still in the concept stage.

I guess this change is more suitable for me as I dun like my design to be constant. I realised that I keep changing and upgrading my designs too often. Litbud.com has undergone 3 major facelift within a year. And my personal blog, has been changing its design every few months. Except lately cos I haven't got the time to do it... haha...

So yar... somemore I dislike to dwell on a design for too long. I like to just finish it and move on. Thats why you see that my new website always last for like 1 months before I start working on a new design :S With this new concept I am able to keep changing my design. It somesort of like acts as a online portfolio for me.


Haha... then as I'm still in the stage of conceptualizing, litbud.com will stay there until my new website is up lar... haha... My 3 months of effort into this version 3 will last for another 3 months before its taken down... lol... see how fast my designs get taken down each time.


Other than these few factors there is also the financal part lar. I am still not financially stable to develop litbut futher, and litbud also hasn't mature enough for me to take the risk lar. So yar... this new concept will let me have time to develop other characters and when the right time comes I will be able to decide on which of my design has matured enough for me to take it to a new level.

Meanwhile, I'm also trying hard to upgrade my skills :D I want to try to master adobe illustrator. Its a very powerful program that the industry uses. So yar... it would be very good if I can master it.

Went out for recently for a family gathering. Then my aunt is like saying, that nowadays its very hard for middle age people to keep their jobs. Companies are retrenching old people. So my aunt has to take up courses to upgrade her skills.

So yar... I dun want this to happen to me next time. I want a safety net for myself when I get to that age. Cos I know that competition is going to increase by the day and by the time when I get to that age, my skills will get obsolete even faster. I dun want to by the age still go back to studies in hope to keep a job... To spell it more crudely, I dun want to beg to retain a job. Somemore even if you are willing to study, how far can you go to keep your competitivness? The young are always more energetic than you. So I've decided that the best way to escape this is to own your own business by then. As when you are your own boss, no one can retrench you. Even if its not a very big business, but then if I can earn enough for a decent living I will already be very contented.

But I know this is going to be a long and tedious process. I just wished that I would be lucky and be able to break free from the fate of being obsolete.

K lar, nothing much liao... bye :)

Woho~ this week is haven sia... haha... Got to stay out... somemore is like 3pm can go home liao... yseterday the best, can go home after lunch... lol... Nice sia... I think this month will pass very fast. Cos after this week, next week will be cover for ICT for the whole week, then another week will be gone. Then I still got 1 more week then can go for my block leave liao.. haha... after that the next time come back is in the year 2007! :D Haha... that will be much closer to ORD loh! haha....

K lar.. nothing much... have been thinking alot about my litbud business lately. Duno if I should start it now. Cos yar... the whole venture will cost about $6000 to me. And I duno how much I can recover. Although it may seem like a small sum, but it will make quite a big dent in my savings, cos I got some money tied up in deposits and periodical savings account. So the liquid cash I have is quite limited. After some calculations, my liquid assets will go into the reds for the first 3 months. Somemore it won't be long before I start my uni, and I need the money to get quite alot of things. So the time frame for me to sell all the products is actually quite short, otherwise I won't be able to recover my money in time for the uni spendings.

Other than the financial aspect, there is also the management side. Although this is a rather small business, but I doubt I can do it alone. Even if I can, it would be a hard and tedious process. I need someone who can stand by me. Give me support when the route gets tough. I am looking for that person who can become my partner. Someone who has an entreprenuer mind who wish to break off from the norm, take the risk in hope for greater returns. So yar, if you dream of having your own business, do contact me :) But be prepared to work hard for it :D

Its quite a sad thing that for people like me who comes from a below average income family, its quite a difficult thing to start your own business. Firstly, you dun have a rich father who can supply you with the capital you need, or even when you fail in your business, he can be a cushion for you to fall back on. Look at all those susscessful young singaporean entreprenuers in recent times. Almost all of them come from a rich family. They may claim that they didn't receive help from their parents. But then, they know that even if they fail they have nothing to worry about because they have a safety net to fall back on. For people like me, who can I rely on? I dun have the capacity to flush a few thousand dollars down the drain just to take a chance at starting a business.

So I still considering whether this is the right time to start it... I could maybe wait a few years, get a stable income, and at a time when $6000 is not too big a sum for me, then start the business. But then, there would be other considerations. Maybe I won't have that much time to focus on my business, of maybe I have other commitments like family. Will I still have the time and energy for such things. Now may be the best time as I'm still young. I do not have much other commitments or obligations. I am carefree. The lost money can still be earned back in future. So why not make use of this chance to just take the gamble and go all out for it?

So yar.... its quite a hard decision to make. Still have to consider it for some time before I cna make the decision. Perhaps I would also consult some people.If you people have any comments of opinion on this matter, feel free to drop me a message in my shotbox :D

K lar, nothing much liao. Bye~

Yo! Need some help here. I'm currently trying to make a litbud plush toy. I've contacted a manufacturer and they have given me a quotation.

I just want to do a quick survey on how much are you all willing to pay to get a 7 inch sized litbud.

You all can drop your replies in my shoutbox. Thanks :D

haiz... so fast my 6 days super long weekend ended... Well... okay lar... was quite bored towards the end cos all the things that I planned on doing was done quicker than expected.

Actually nothing much lar... life is kind of plain lately. Nothing special.

Just to recommend this anime that I've downloaded. Quite nice lar... haha... its a very lame and violent show. haha... Its titled, Muteki kaban musume... its about this waitress with super human strength....

K lar... nothing liao... boring~

Yay! version 3 of litbud.com is finally up! haha... had beem working on it for the past few months. It was a long and hard process... Had mental block in the process.... cannot get inspiration for the design of the website... But... everything is finally done :D Haha... am quite pleased with the result. Although there its still a bit different from what I had expected. But then... oh well.. this is the best that I can do with the skills I have now.

Okay... am clearing leave for the next 3 days :) haha... Finally can get a break from army... Had been very busy last month with all the covers and duties. Hope its fianlly over now. Shouldn't have too much activities during december, so not much cover.

K lar... nothing much liao.. rather sian... nothing to do at home.

:) Went for ATP for the past 3 days... and got $200 richer :D haha... achieved a marskman score.
Think its a much needed end of year bonus for me... Had been spending quite alot lately :S Last week went out for two events... cost me about a 100 bucks... okay lar... actually not really alot... but then... 100 out of my 450 pay is relatively big... haha... sian... had been thinking of ways to increase my income. Wanted to work but duno how to find job leh. My working hours must be very flexible one lor cos my weekend also not confirm free on both days, sometimes got weekend duty... and maybe I'll be going india for some time... so I think no one would want to employ me lar... Even giving tution is a problem lar. Cos now I got saturday RT that means I won't be able to teach during that time, and I think thats the peak period for tution lar cos people can go out in the afternoon. See lor... if got any lobang can intro me :) haha... in much need of $$$

okay... it worked.. haha... duno why I can't publish my post for the past few times...

Anyway... feeling quite sian... had been rather busy for the past days... kept doing cover and duty... and kept booking out on sat morning... sian leh... There is really a lot of difference booking out a night later. This this weekend even worst lar... Got to book in on sunday night, which is a few hours away... Had to prepare for cover very early tmr, so cannot book in the next morning... The feeling now is like BMT lor.... Like just booked out yesterday and today had to book in already. SIaN AR!!!

Duno why... been feeling quite bad lately. Am not really happy. Something wrong with work... There is too much uncertainty... I feel kind of insecure... It has been quite a few months since I got posted there already... but I still haven't really settled down. Haiz...

sian ar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

testing

Haiz... sian ar!!!! Tmr have to book in again... somehow this seems to be a very short weekend.... Perhaps I've been too used to long weekends... :S had been enjoying long weekends for the past few times... then when it return to normal... it feels so short...

Haven't been feeling very good lately... Kind of moody and depressed... Perhaps its because of the RT thats is coming... Haiz... Also perhaps I'm really bored lar... I want to find something to do... something that I can also earn extra cash while doing too... But no lobang leh....

Neck feels very stiff now... slight headache...

Oh well... its a long week ahead... must make myself happy... otherwise how to survive? Really looking forward to the block leave....

K lar... nothing much liao.. bye~

Just attended a birthday dinner... felt quite out of place... :S Its a guy from my new company... so we only know each other for like less than a month... somemore we seldom talk to each other... so I dun really know him. But okay lar... since he invited me so I just go lor... I thought its just a simple catered buffet... so I just went wearing shorts and slippers and without any present... Thought I'll would just go there show my face then go off lor... didn't expect to stay long... But then.. I was wrong... It was a restraunt buffet... :S Felt alittle bit awkard.... haiz... next time must get more information before going to such events... :S

Anyway... was feeling quite bad in the afternoon... didn't have a good night sleep yesterday... was doing duty yesterday... and only slept about 4 hrs.... kept being disturbed.... So duno why I felt terrible... then got a slight fever too... but now felt much better already...

k lar.. nothing much liao... bye~

Just attended a birthday dinner... felt quite out of place... :S Its a guy from my new company... so we only know each other for like less than a month... somemore we seldom talk to each other... so I dun really know him. But okay lar... since he invited me so I just go lor... I thought its just a simple catered buffet... so I just went wearing shorts and slippers and without any present... Thought I'll would just go there show my face then go off lor... didn't expect to stay long... But then.. I was wrong... It was a restraunt buffet... :S Felt alittle bit awkard.... haiz... next time must get more information before going to such events... :S

Anyway... was feeling quite bad in the afternoon... didn't have a good night sleep yesterday... was doing duty yesterday... and only slept about 4 hrs.... kept being disturbed.... So duno why I felt terrible... then got a slight fever too... but now felt much better already...

k lar.. nothing much liao... bye~

haiz... tmr have to book in to camp liao... haiz... sian... Kind of have the same feeling when school reopens after the holidays... haha...
Anyway... just looking forward to the weekends :) which is not too far away lar... since its already tuesday now... Got medical center duty this friday... which means that I would only be booking out this saturday.

Sian ar... suddenly ORD seems so far away... Just a couple of days ago I saw one of my seniors getting his pink ic.... I suddenly felt sad... I want to go back to civilian life!!!! But okay lar... the next few months will pass fast... October is ending very soon... then comes november... nothing much to expect in Nov... but then I'm just waiting for my block leave in december. Then I'll have a good nice and long break again :) And that will bring me to the year of 2007. The first 3 mths would pass rather smoothly I supposed... with all the holidays... then in march... I can celebrate my 1 year of service!!! Haha... which means I can very fast countdown to my ORD date :D

haiz... k lar... nothing much I can do....

My broadband is back :D haha... finally... called up singnet to ask then they sent a technician down to check. Its a technical fault with them... so yar...

I'm now enjoying my super long weekend... Yay :D haha... was on off on friday, then monday also off... so in total plus the weekend and hoilday... I got like 5 days in total :D Woho~ HAha.... But then thats my last chance of going for off liao... cos with effect from 1st nov... those who didn't pass ippt cannot go for night out, off, canteen break and have to stay back on sat for RT!!!!! Thats like the worst thing that could happen lar... no more friday bookout!!!! No!!!!!

Haiz.... sian ar!!! Have to start training liao... but then... miracles don't happen over night lar... so I think for the next couple of months until I can finally pass my ippt... I would have to resign to booking out on sat....

Remember the book 'Porn Generation' that I said I was reading... well... its really a very nice book... haha... it quotes alot of examples about how sex is everywhere is the media... TVs, magazines, music, movies... it gives real life examples which we know of.... this is also quite a newly published book... so the examples used are also quite updated.

Just to share a idea I find very interesting in the book.

Do you consider oral sex as sex?
Meaning... if you have performed oral sex, do you still consider yourself as a virgin?
If yes, does that means that virginity to you is nothing more then physical penetration?
Because, if virginity has its spiritual and moral aspect, then by having oral sex, you are already breaching it...

Heres an excerpt from the book " Teens don't see it that way. According to a 2003 northern kentucky university survey of almost 600 teens who had taken abstinence pledges, 61 percent had broken them; of the remaining 39 percent, who are still in their opinion "virgins," more than half said that they'd oral sex, " some people feel like they can maintain their pledge and still have oral sex and that oral sex dosen't count," NKU researcher and psychologist Angela Lipsitz osbserved"

hmm... thats all for now ba... bye :)

Sian ar!!! Am surfing the net at 56kbps speed now... Super slow leh... stupid com... duno whats wrong with it... my broadband connection went crazy.... Had been like this for about a month liao. Still can't find out whats the problem.... Sian....

Just came back from tekong two days ago... was there to cover for an exercise for 3 days. It was quite okay lar. I feel like a att B person... haha... dun need to participate in all the tedious activities. I only try to help out with simple things lar. otherwise it dosen't seem nice for me to sit down there whole day doing nothing and watching them slog their souls out. But then there is one regret about this trip lar. I didn't bring enough comfort items to truly enjoy the camp. Cos its like is the one and few chances that you get to live like a commander... haha... nobody to check your field pack, no one to tell you what you cannot bring and cannot do. You get to enjoy the privileges of a commander lar... but too bad I didn't make full use of it. But then... going outfield as a man in a unit is kind of different from going it as a recruit in BMT. You get more freedom. Your working relationship with your superiors gets a little bit better as they also have to rely on your help. Then yar... was in tekong... went past Ulysses company line. Recalled the time spent there... Though it was tough... but then its really part of your precious memories.

Today also went to do something for the first time... haha... I went to singapore pools and made a bet... lol... Or should I say make an investment... haha... I want to try my luck at the soccer betting lar. Its one of the more simple and lower risk gamble. Although I'm a total soccer idiot... I still can make my bet by the odds given. So yar... I believe that the statistics gurus at the singapore pools already went through all the troublesome calculations to decide who will win the game. I'll just ride on it and make my bet accordingly. Haha... Of the 8 teams in the 4 matches I bet on... I only know 1 team Man U... haha... And of the many people playing in the matches... I know none of them... LOL... So yar... Just to try out lar... haha... Have to find a way to finance my expenditure lar. Otherwise I my economy might go into recession.... :P

Today also went to the library... borrowed this interesting book titles. Porn Generation. Haha... will tell you more when I finish reading it. :)

Thats all for now lar... Bye :)

Hmm.... have been doing some financial analysis of my current situation. Cos recently due to the nature of my work.... I kind of like keep spending money... going for canteen breaks everytime, taking cab around, spending during weekends... So yar... kind of like lose track of how much am I spending already and have I exceeded my monthly allowance or not.

Did some calculation. And okay... I'm still spending within control. :) But then... it seems that I have no other income other than from the monthly allowance given by the SAF... which is not satisfying... haha... I need to look for other sources of income.

I want to find a weekend job. Its the best thing to do, I can kill time during the weekends and get extra cash. But then the problem is to find a suitable job.

Then I have some investment going on... My website that is still under construction.... this would be quite a long term investment as it is one of the more complex investment. There are many things that needs to be done and with my current strength it would take a very long time. I'm still looking for partners for the venture. Some have pledge their support but then their expertise is not needed in this phase of the work. I need expertise in digital graphics design and webdesign. Oh well... as I said this would be a long and hard road...

Next I would like to try playing with something with instant rewards. This is a new investment which I'm still studying its feasibility. I want to take out a small pool of money to experiment with soccer betting. It is a simple game with simple rules. And the bets are small. And it provides a fair bit of information to make a calculated risk. So I would like to try my hands at such things... Maybe just a teaser before I start learning to play stock market in future :) Things will be done within control and even if I lose everything its not too much a price to pay.

K lar... so yar.... hope to get more ways to increase my income lar... cos my expenditure is getting higher and higher, if my income dosen't keeps up then my mini economy would suffer.

Thats all for now... bye :)

Arlow... Long time since I last posted. Com was down for quite a while cos of some modem problem. Things are fine... went for parade reharsals for the past week. Got to stay out :) Staying out is so nice... haha...

The actual parade is held next tues. And it marks the end of another small chapter of my ns life. We spent about 2 weeks together, trained together, laugh at the incompetent parade commander together.... It was fun :) And now we have to part...

It is a good to have this kind of small little events throughout your NS life. You get a chance to break free from your mundane work in camp. It helps to make time pass faster... haha... And soon 2 years will be up :) And I can finally be free~ Actually... ORD dosen't seem that far anymore. Although I'll still short of a few months to become a one year soldier. DUno why, but I just felt that way... :)

Sometimes I ponder.... some of my friends who are the same age as me are still busily studying... either mugging for their A lvls or working hard on their end of course project. And here I am... in the army camp... having gone through my hardest part of the NS life.

Hmm... K lar... thats about all for now.. .bye~

Haiz.... its sunday night. Lucky I dun need to book in yet for now. But in the future, things might change.

But although I should be glad that I'm given such privileges. I am not really happy about booking in. In the course of my army life, I've been to 3 places, Tekong, Nee Soon and my current one Sungei Gedong. The experience and feelings of booking in is quite different between them.

Booking in to my first place in Tekong is the worst. Before even booking in, I'm already starting to think about booking out. The feeling is terrible. But then, there is still something to look forward to... the day of POP where I don't have to book in again to the place again. And yes, the day had came and I'm freed from that place.

Booking in to my second place is the best of all. It doesn't even feel like booking in. I feel like I'm just returning to my second home. Its a relax and 'painless' process. I don't countdown to my next book out, because I didn't even feel that I've booked in. Sometimes, I even feel happy about booking in. I really miss that place.

My current camp is actually in the middle of the two. I dun hate it as much as tekong, but there is still some pain felt. I find no reason for me to be happy about booking in. Something is just missing...

I guess its about the people there. K lar... I get along fine with the people there. But then the relationship is just normal acquaintance. Perhaps we haven't gone tru much together, thats why our bonding is not there yet. But then... I feel that thats not entirely the problem. Another thing is that I have a very small pool of people to select a group or a person to cling onto.

I've been thinking about the way I interact with people.

It seems that when I'm being introduced to a new environment. I would look around and find a group where I can fit it. Once in there, I would mix around with people within the group, and seldom with people from outside the group. It is almost such that I stop taking initiative to know people from outside the group. My contacts will only expand when the people in my group bring in other friends to my group. And then from within the group. I would find specifically someone that I will cling onto. So even when the group disperse to do their own things, I will still have someone to cling onto.

It seems abit weird but then, I see this pattern being repeated again and again whenever I get to new places. Sometimes I feel like I'm a parasite. I need a host to cling onto in order to survive.

And right now. Because the pool of people is very small. I am unable to find a group that I can fit into completely. Thus I am not able to find a person that I can cling onto. For now... there is this temporary group that I am in and this temporary person that I cling onto. But then... because I don't really fit inside. I am only loosely hooked on. I'm still searching for my new group and until then may I truly find a good reason for me to book in to camp.

hmm... sian...

went out for wei ping's son 1st month today. Haiz... my first time attending such event by a friend. I'm getting old.... Met up with a few from the combat medic course. All seems to be doing quite well. Slack :P

After that went to play lan... got pwned... haha...

then went down to suntec lor. THe place really very deserted. The restraunts are all empty... But can't blame us lar. U know how hard is it to get to suntec or not? We can't go straight tru citylink. You have to get out of citylink, go tru marina, tru millenia walk then u reach suntec. Its one very big round lor. No wonder the crowd is all stuck at marina square, all to lazy to continue walking tru millenia then suntec.

Something is really missing in my life...

duno what...

duno how....

but I hope to find the missing piece soon...

Hohoho~ Yet another week.

Life has been good... but filled with a lot of uncertainty. Until now there is still no confirmation of where we will be posted to and what will we be doing. It was said that a letter was sent up to the top for us to be put under CCO's control during office hours. That means that we might not have to go become platoon medic, instead we will hold position in the medical center and only go out when they need cover. But then the approval might take a long while to come, at least 1 or two months, so until then, we will still be under AEC.... But then.... new instructions were given that we will stay at HQ before our sergeant come back from his spec 2 course, which will take another month... So now... everything is in a big mess.... We just live by the day.

It would be best if things dosen;t change. Cos I really love the life I'm leading now. Although its not a 8-5 job where I can book out everyday... the work is 8-5.... We start work in the morning at 8, then end work sometimes before 5... As for the rest of the day, we are free to do our own stuffs. So after eating dinner we would go back to the medical center to watch TV until 10, then walk back to bunk and sleep. The medical center is like a mess for us... lol... we can also sneak into the canteen which is just next door to buy food. Its really heaven in there.. haha..

I wonder what changes there might be in the future, but nvm... let me enjoy as long as this lasts :)

see ya~

Yet another week has passed. It has been quite a nice week. The medical center got a little bit busier with platoons of people coming for FFI and a whole platoon of people reporting sick after a route march... There arn't any big cases except for a asthma case, which is a good thing lar... haha... firstly no one gets hurt, and we also can slack :P

I've begin to settle down in there. I dun mind passing the remaining 1/5 years of my ns life just like that lar... but then, things are going to change a little. I'm going to move over to company line in another week's time. There I might have to live a platoon life again. Right now, I'm so free.... Me, together with another 2 medics come and go as we wish. We no need to march, just walk here and there. OTOT go eat... Everything we decide for ourselves. Freedom is one rare thing that you would have in the army. But then... this freedom may not be lasting. I just hope that not too much of it would be taken away after I go to company line.

ANyway... nothing much lar... been rotting for the weekend. Think I really no life sia.... kept wanting to find something to do. But just couldn't find any...

K lar...thats all for now... bye~

Its monday night, and why am I here? haha... got a day off due to the army half marathon. It wasn't really a day off lar... since it ate one of my weekend, so its perfectly right to return one to me.

Anyway... I didn't take part in the running. I was doing the sai kang ( shit work) for them. We had to move the safety barriers to close a lane for the runners... And you know how much barriers we had to move or not? We take like around 4 hours to move them in place tru the night. And then take also as much time to pack them all up after the event... Now I got this phobia seeing those safety barriers... I kept imagning and wishing that I got the mutant power of Jean Grey... lol... I can just concentrate and move all the barriers in place.

Some of my platoon mates are also being dragged there to do other forms of sai kang, like medical cover and water point marshal. Its a pretty funny feeling to think that after we all got seperated after POP. we are all together and still working under the same night sky at singapore's southern area.
Althought they got the slacker job lar... can sleep at night... I have to move all the barriers throughout the night lor... sian....

Spending 1 night together with a section... well... they all seems to be quite nice people lar... hope I will be able to fit in well after I got posted to the company :)

Went to the library to borrow some books. Needed something to kill time in camp, Had been considering to get myself a PSP or nitendo DS... I think its a pretty good investment for the rest of my 1.5 years in camp. But I'll still wait a while lar... wait till I settle down in the company first :)

K lar... nothing much for now... bye :) This week shouldm'y be too hard to pass, afterall monday is already gone, 4 more days to my book out night :) Actually now considered not bad already. Cos is monday book in for the next 2 weeks, so now I have 3 night to spend at home :)

POP loh! Haiz... I was sent right to my new camp after pop... so sian... got a shock when I reach my new camp. My building is so run down. The bunk is even worst. It looks like some construction site worker's squatters. The first night there was unbearable. The fan has broken down so its so hot there... Somemore I can't imagine myself living in such conditions for the rest of my NS life. Its like within a 3km radius of the camp there isn't a single civilisation. Its almost like living in tekong, except its worst. I was posted to a engineer company situated in a armour camp. Thats why it seems like we are being outcasted. All the armour building have been upgraded. Only our little area at the very end of the camp is so run down.

First day there was also quite sad... I miss SMTI life even more. I miss all the familiar faces, voices and places of SMTI. I miss my bunk mates who are always so noisy talking cock. But haiz... got to bear with it for another 2 weeks lar. After that I'm moving over to the company line to be attached to a platoon. I hope by then things will get better lar... getting to know new people. And the living condition there is also slightly better, at least the bed is those spring mattress and not foams.

By the way, I just realised that I got a friend there in the company.. haha.. Elgin! I went for a briefing for AHM then saw him there. Hmm... that kinds of make me feel better lar... at least that place is not so alien to me anymore.

The second day there was the start of our on job training. First thing in the morning, even before the lesson starts, we were called into the treatment room. "the three of you, one of you go and do IV" .... lol... there was a high fever patient there... we were all stunned lor... lol... then I was sabo to do it. Heng I one shot kill ar... otherwise so xia suay... haha.... My first time shooting IV for a real casualty. It feels abit different. In school we shoot friends that we know, anyhow shoot also can. but there, its a real casualty that needs the IV... so there's a little weight of responsibility there.

After that we continue lesson lor... but half way a heat exhaustion casualty came in... Suddenly all the senior medics there became very serious lor. They did the 4 man drill on the causalty, MO was also being called in. The whole situation is very tense lor. They strip him of everything, planted 2 IV on him... inserted a rectal probe....

I see the casualty like suffering so much, I almost cried you know... Everyone is going through NS, but why does he have to suffer so much? Later then get to know that we was a trainee for Specs undergoing ASLC here. He was doing SOC when that happened.

Haiz... but whether I like it or not... this is life in the army lar... SUCK thumb.... I'm gonna be stuck there for 1.5 years. After that I'm gonna F**K off from there and hope never to return... so yar.... K lar... 1.5 years shouldn't take too long lar... right now I'm only looking forward to going to the company line in 2 weeks time. Look at the time in small blocks and it should pass by quite fast. Can't imagine I've already passed 9 weeks in SMTI... It seems too short... I wanna go back for a recourse!!!! haha...

My weekend this week is screwed up cos of the AHM... its like I have to report at 1745 tonight, then go back at around noon tmr, then have a off on monday and book in tues morning.

Thats all for now ba... bye~

Haiz... feeling very terrible... fell sick.... haiz... caught a bad flu... I'm like walking around my house with a roll of toilet paper in my hand for the whole of today... kept sneezing non stop... Hope to get well by monday, otherwise things are going to get worst... Going to have outfield activities this coming week, so if I dun get well by then, I duno whether my flu will worsen or not under the hot sun.

My watch also passed away this week... So sad... it has been with me for almost 10 years. Went through alot with it. It kept time for all my majoy exams. PSLE, O lvls, A lvls... It endured through though trainings during my BMT and field camp.... It also has travelled with me overseas....

I bought this watch when I was in pri 4... That year one of my cheapo watch was spoilt, then its near chinese new year. So my dad brought me to get a new watch. So we went shopping at Lot 1... That was my first watch that cost over a hundred dollars... haha... But its worth every cent lor... to be able to last so long.

It got injured during BMT, somehow one of the buttons for setting time is spoilt. That means that once the battery finished, there is no point changing battery again cos the time cannot be set anymore. So it began... the countdown till the very last minute when its battery goes flat.....

Oh well... time to get a new watch :D haha....

Anyway.... the countdown to the end of combat medic training has also began... The coming week can be considered is the last week I'll be undergoing training at MTI.... My posting will probably be also out this week. HAiz... duno where I'll be posted to... New places, new friends.

k lar.. nothing much... bye~ Gonna rest early :) Wish me speedy recovery!

Yet another weekend... so boring... haiz... got test tmr but dun feel like studying...

Been feeling unwell for the past weeks... had this persistent flu the comes and go all the time... feels terrible... In another 2 weeks time... my course will end... wonder where I'll get posted to...

haiz.. duno wad to write about... very sian ar!!!

bye~

Haiz... am supposed to be studying for my test tmr... but heck... dun feel like doing it... lol... Really not in the mood lor... very sian leh... its like going back to school life lor... going for lectures, sitting for exams. But this is the first time after many years that I can afford to not study for the exam... lol... For the past 2 years in JC I chiong all the way... studying for every exams... putting in effort in every single one of them. For now... I slack too long le.... dun want to chiong anymore. Just as long as I can get a pass then I happy liao :) Anyway... another reason is I dun like to study on weekends. The feeling is never there. The afternoon seems hotter then usual. Its just not condusive for studies. So now... I try to keep work and my private life seperated lar. I dun want to bring work home to do. I only have the weekends to myself. I dun want my work to take up all the time.

I shall share some thoughts about smoking. Recently, new regulations has been passed down to divide the smoking areas in public areas like coffee shops and hawker centers. I greatly support this regulation as I really dislike the smell of smoke. I think they should ban smoking totally... haha... but I guess its not possible to do it so fast. But I hope gradually and eventually it can be done.

But sometimes I understand that some smokers like those old people who spend their whole day in the coffee shops got nothing to do so they need some smoke to get high. Well I understand their situation. Being old and lonely... a cigarette is their best friend. So I have a suggestion that instead of seperating the locations between the smokers and non-smokers, we seperate the time. The old people usually hang out in the coffee shops in the afternoon at the off peak hours. So during that time, we allow smoking. but at the peak hours smoking should be banned. This way, we are protecting to second hand smoke from getting to our childern whom are usually in school or somewhere else except the coffee shops. As for the old people... they dun need to be protected from the health hazards lar. The are already so old, and do not have any much longer to live. Just let them enjoy the last few moments of their lives, no point asking them to go through the trouble of kicking the habit. Somemore, they die faster also good wad... solves the aging population of singapore... LOL... K lar.. I shall not be so mean.

Anyway... let me continue about somking in the SAF. I think we should ban smoking totally lor... Those people are like drug addicts. They smuggle in cigarettes, hide and smoke in toilet when permission is not given. Can anyone safetly tell me that the smokers in their platoon or company hasen't caused any trouble? Surely there are some people who are stupid enough to smoke in the toilet and get caught. Haiz... those are young people, and they are already so addicted to smoking.

K lar... nothing much liao... bye~

Yo! Long time no blogged... Just formatted my com... as always it was super sian... had to reinstall everything again... and the installations took so long... Blamed it on my little laziness. I was updating my firewall so I had to shut it down while the it is being upgraded. But then because I was lazy... I didn't bother to cut off my internet connection. So within that few seconds before the new firewall was up... I was hit by tons of virus. One of them is super irritating... When you type right... it purposly backspace some letters.... so you have to type letters by letters ensuring that it comes out on screen. So now everything is fine already... but I wasted so much time... I wanted to do something for litbud.com but all my time had been spent on this.

Anyway... I'm a little bit worried... I've forgotten my hotmail password :S Which means I might lose all my contacts on MSN!!!! I can't use the forgotten password feature cos that time I fake to be in the US so that I can have 250MB of space... but then I forgot which state of the country I put... Somemore I wrote crap for the secret question... so die ar... duno if I can recall or not...

I kind of feel lost without MSN... I didn't know I was so dependent on it... Its just like people losing their handphone. They are not worried about the handphone, but the contacts in the handphone. Although most of the time my MSN is just left idle... but then I still feel uneasy without it. So yar... this is a warning to you people ar... Better go back up your contacts.

Another 3 weeks have passed since I got into Medical Training Institute (MTI)... Relatively, I could wish for nothing more regarding the life in there. The training is not physically demanding. The commanders are nice. ( well at least for my platoon) My bunkmates are friendly. Location is not too far. Training ends on friday night. Compared to the life during BMT and perhaps what some of my other riflemen friends are doing.... This is already heaven. Some people are still going through SOC and route march... on the same day somemore... For me... I've almost forgotten the pain of going through it.

Anyway... I've been thinking about something... The army system is like a communist system in such a sense that we do not have a choice in where we go. Some people whom are less physical get the more 'xiong' vocations and vice versa. Our abilities are not matched with our jobs.

We have seen the nations around the world transiting from past communist countries to democratic ones. It seems as though democracy is the way to be. Even singapore has benefited from the system. But then why the change hasn't come to the army?

Well. One of the reason I can think of is that we need to maintain a standard proportion of people in every vocation. If it were left to choice and ablilties, the proportion may be uneven and that impedes our battle capabilities.

And perhaps this may be one of the reasons that some countries still remains as a communist till today. but in place of battle capabilities, it may be there economy.

Anyway... I'm just gonna stop here. I'm got going to write an essay out of it... haha... its just some passing thought which I thought may be interesting to share :)

We humans are hard to satisfy... so I too have some complains about the "oh so beautiful" life in MTI... haha...

One minor one is that there is no hot water supply for bathing!!! LOL... Its really cold in there especially that it has been raining almost everyday for the past week.

One major complain about a f*ck-up commmander... purposely blow up a small matter... or perhaps I should say a few small matter... for no good reason... Luckily I'm not in his platoon... so I just have to suffer is nonsense when in company level. I pity those under him. They still live a life as a recruit.

K lar... thats all for today :) Bye~

Saturday night :) A rather nice week had passed. My first week as a combat medic trainee.

That monday morning... I woke up.... Very sian... after 2 weeks of waking up late.... It feels terrible.... Anyway.... washed up and made my way to nee soon camp. I'll be spending the next 9 weeks there...

K lar... I duno how to prganise them into proper paragraphs, so I'll just list the points lar.

The food at the cookhouse there is better then tekong. The place also quite empty.... Queue is short, and there's no lack of seats.

Its a challenge not to fall asleep during lectures. The seat is cushioned and comfortable. The audi is air conditioned. The lecture content dosen't appeal to me.... and the lecturer is boring.... All these composed the most persuading lullaby.... Haha....

PHysical training is almost non existence. Except for the 5B-EX in the morning and some tekan session. The tekan session is only on some days where we are really very slack... so the instructor let us do some 20-40 push-ups to warm up our bodies.... The most xiong thing is during stand by area before book out. Even that is also slack because at most we just do 20 push up, 20 crunches and 20 jumping jacks... That is nothing compared to the 160 push ups at one short during a standby area at Ulysses...

Lessons are fun... but at a super fast pace. Its like attending a bio crash course for me. In such a short time, I'm supposed to familiarise myself with the anatomy of the body. Then there are also a lot of memory work which I suck at.

Some interesting things...

-You are not allowed to sleep during office hours on the bed... but you can sleep on the floor.
-There is no stand by area... only stand by bed.
-And standby bed. only 1 set of no.4 and 1 set of admin tee to be displayed. All other clothes including underwear keep in duffel bag or personal shelf.
-Toothpaste must be at least 3/4 full :S

Anyway... I think I'm fortunate enough to land myself in such a place lar. Army life really dosen't suit me... So yar... I just hope that after 9 weeks I'll get posted to somewhere as nice, then I'll just finish my 2 years and carry on with my civilian life.

K lar... nothing much already. Bye~

woho~ I'm back :D Haha... one week has passed....

Combat medic training is slack... very slack... but I'll talk about this later....

I just wanna share something that got me very excited! Haha... John just msged my on MSN... lol... he went back to CSS and guess what he saw... he saw a poster of the top student from YJ and I was on it! LOL... Yj really went to send the poster back to my secondary school.. lol... Hmm.... I wonder if any teacher will recognise me... haha... I very low profile then...

:D Oh well... nothing much lar... am just glad that I've got some achievement :)

K lar... I'll blog about my slack life there the next time :) Bye~

Arlow.... nv expect myself to write an entry so soon after what I said during my last entry... haha... but... well.. just wanna share something :)

Got my posting today liao... Combat medic... Haiz... like quite xiong leh... still have to continue to chiong sua. Somemore have to do the medic stuffs... Actually... I quite scared of blood one leh... den I think we still have to learn injection... and how to we learn it? Poke yourself and your buddy lor, then let your buddy poke you too... So scary sia...

but haiz... okay lar.. at least I get to learn something useful. Something that can be applied in future. But I think also not much chance lar... unless really see some accident where doctors and paramedics are inaccessible. Even then I think I might have forgotten almost everything.. haha...

But okay lar... I shouldn't complain too much... afterall there are some people who are worst off then me... some tio rifleman... some combat engineers....

Still there are some who got quite a slack one... Some got RP.... haha... so in 2 yrs time we will see them grow fat.... :P Some leh... got to SAF band.... this guy is quite pro sia.... Then one got to lifeguard.... another super slack job.... And finally duno why this guy pes A/B but end up in service sector! Become transport supervisor....

Actually now to think of it... like quite a number of people get slack jobs hor? WHY AM I NOT ONE OF THEM!!!! LOL.... Oh well... As the usual army saying goes... suck thumb.... so yar.... just have to do it for 2 years :)

But now hor... after a week being civilian.... My mode switch to civilian mode liao leh... monday have to go back to camp so sian!!! Have to go back to army life... I DUN WAN!!! :'( ..... sian ar!!!! I really wish for 2 years to be over soon and I get back to my normal civilian life.... No matter wad... army life sux compared to civilian life....

okay lar.. change topic....

Watched the 7pm show on channel 8. Then there is this comment about how times have changed. " Nowadays children gather at playground is not to play with the facilities. But to gather around and play electronic games. "

I wonder how true is it as I haven't been around playground for a long time... But this comment just evoke some sentiments that yar... times really have changed. Not only around us... but we also have grown too.... Sometimes I feel so old... I was at a chalet with my platoon mates. Then I observed the things they do... and we arn't kids anymore. It seems that my surrounding has changed... but I still lack behind. I'm still the kid I am a few years back. I haven't changed much.... And I guess... its about time I make my change.....

Next year... I'll be 20.... Thats perhaps 1/4 of my life gone.... In the same blink of an eye.... 2/4.... 3/4.... and then I'll be waiting to leave this world...

This would be the end of a life cycle... Its pretty amazing when you think of us being developed from a single cell organism... went through so much... and then thats the end of our life cycle as a homo sapien....

Pardon me for being so "biological" today.... haha.... had been reading much.... Cos after POP was too bored so went to the library to pick up some books.... One of which is "frogs flies & dandelions" by Menno Schilthuizen.

This is a description about the book. "The origin of new species-speciation-is a central theme in evolution. How do species split? Why? How long does it take for a new species to be born? And what is a species anyway? Such is the mportance of the problem that Charles Darwin himself dubbed it 'the mystery of mysteries' "

Its quite an interesting book to read.... but that is if you are really interested in the evolution of things... cos its pretty long... and there are a lot of case studies... it can be very boring at times.... I also almost gave up on reading a few times...

There is another book which I borrowed titled " What scientists think" by Jeremy Stagroom
This book also has an chapter devoted to "Darwinism and Genes" yet another read about evolution....

SO yar... that explains it....

Anyway... I also got 2 book which I didn't have time to read.... ONe is "Holding on to reality" by Albert Borgmann

Its a pity I didn't have a chance to read it cos there are a lot of interesting things inside. This is the description "Holding on to Reality is a brillant history of information, from its inception in the natural worls to its role in the transformation of cultre to the current internet mania and its attendant assets and its liability. Drawing on the history of ideas, the details of information technology and the boundaries of the human condition, Borgmann illuminates the relationship between reality and information. "

In the book you will find geometry, trigonometry, architectual, gates( those NOT,AND NOR gates from physics) diagrams in it... I duno what is it for cos I haven't read the book... but I guess it would be pretty much interesting.

Another book is "World of risk" by Mark Haynes Daniell

"this book takes a fresh and critical look at the leading sources of global risk- terrorism, diseases, crime, poverty, environmental damage and others- and sets out a practical way to respond far better than we have to each risk area. ... Without a more informed set of strageties and better global leadership, the catastrophe of 9/11 will only be a forerunner of many more disasters in future. We can do much better. This important book shows us how"

Well... I haven't got a chance to see how important the book is... but I think it will be quite nice to read.

So yar... with that... I think its time for me to end this entry :) Bye~ And wish all my army friends good luck and all the best in their new vocation :)

Yo! really long long time never blog already.... Haven't been really busy... but just dun feel like blogging...

OKay... some major events has passed since the last time I blogged.... actually its only 1 lar... POP!!! Yay!!!! Haha.... GOODBYE TEKONG! It has been a long long journey.... 3 months in there.... Went through alot... all the tekan sessions that we had... but we still made it... :D

Well... okay lar... some points about my stay there lar...

1) Ulysses is a very shiong company... lol... dun think that u don't hear about us we are slack.... SO to future recruits dun be too happy that u ended up in Ulysses... haha...

2) :D I got a chance to taste the no.1 food in tekong! Haha... or at least in school 2... Haha... that is the roti jon with cheese! It is so good that it rumored caused a conflict between my OC and one of the sergeant because the sergeant bought a roti jon without cheese when the OC said he wanted cheese... lol...

okay lar... there nothing much liao... now waiting for my posting... haiz... duno where I will go to.... Hope its a slack one....

Hmm... I guess I won't be posting that often anymore... Perhaps only during some major events lar.... so yar... Until then... bye~

hello~ long time no blogged... been busy for the past few weeks. Time at home is short... so not in the mood to write... Actually I'm still not in the mood to write now lar... haha... feeling sleepy already. But soon... everything will be over :D Haha... 1 more week to POP! So yar... maybe then I'll write more ba... :)

So until then... see ya~

It has been 3 weeks since I last blogged... I wanted to blog last week, but due to time constrains, I didn't have the chance to do so. So now... with the long weekend, I can finally find time :)

Haiz... life have been hard for the past weeks. Before the field camp... we were already heavily tekan... field camp... haiz... its hell.... Its as if they must have a tekan session everyday.... Cos everyday for the 1-2 hours... we would be treated like shit... then after that... all was bright and merry. So.. it seems to be a requirement for us to get a few hours of tekan everyday... -.-
Another problem is the food. The combat rations is really distasteful. I only force myself to at least eat half the packet and I'll throw it away.... I can't totally dun eat it cos I need the energy.... haiz....

but anyway... I've survived it :D

After field camp was sit test... well... its nothing much lar... I didn't want to go command school... so I just go tru the motion lor... it was quite slack... the only thing is we have to eat the combat rations again...

After all these... I've lost alot of weight! lol... I'm so skinny!!! My hip bones and rib cages are alll starting to bulge out already!!! Then my bum is getting flatter... LOL... THe one place that didn't change much.... my tummy -.- Its still as bulgy and flabby as before... sian.... I only want my tummy to be flat lar.... all the other places I am happy with it liao.... haha.... but anyway... I wonder how long will it last :S haha... later a few months down the road I'll gain back all my weight and my tummy will grow even bigger :P

K lar... nothing much to blog about.... dun feel like working my mind now... oh... here's how I look after 2 months in tekong slimming center :P haha... 3 more weeks to POP!

:D Muahaha~ lol... Just came back today... feeling very sian because of some army stuffs which I will whine about later... then I saw 2 letters on my table... The first one I pick up was from SMU.... And on the front of the letter was printed Congratulations.. LOL... I quickly tore open the envelope and read the letter :D I've secured a place in SMU :D Yay! Haha... Then I saw the other letter was from NTU... and :D I got admitted there too :) Then I looked around... hmm... no NUS letter yet....

Anyway... I'm glad that I got into SMU... Haha... I was still worring about getting a place there because the competition this year is very intense. Its 8 people vying for only 1 place. And cos I had high fever on that day of the interview, I was worried that I didn't do as well... But then.... I still made it :D Haha... I pass the interview even though my body is burning with a temperature of 39.4 degree lol...

Hmm.... didn't expect the letter to come so fast. Cos I thought results will only come out in may... somemore I got 1 friend who was called for interview next week for the same course... but duno why I was admitted before he even got interviewed.... weird...

Life for the past week in camp is sucky... I've been deprived of a lot of sleep... haiz... we had range till 3am on thursday night. Then after everything is settled we slept at 4.... Then the next day we had to wake up at 7.... Then at night I kena guard duty... so friday night also can't get a good rest... Haiz....

But still there were some interesting thing lar... at range I was firing in the rain... lol... so fun... u are soaked and have to take aim with water dripping all over ur rifle... Then the rear sight aperture also always get bubbles then u have to blow to burst the bubble before u can take aim... Then when u fire the recoil makes the water splash around... haha... so fun...

Haiz... this will be my last bookout for some time.... next week cannot book out already... cos its field camp.... sian ar... I heard that ulysses field camp is one of the xiong-est.... Think I'm gonna die down there... 7 days of hell.... but haiz... no matter what I still have to go tru it... so yar... the faster its done the better.... after field camp I think life would be a little bit better liao... cos its almost back to ptp phase where we do all the physical training.....

K lar... so the next time I'll blog would be about 2 weeks time... or maybe 3 weeks cos I think I would be so tired after the field camp that I wun feel like blogging....

See ya~

haiz... so sian ar!!! Really hate army life.... The only thing that kept me going on is that I keep telling myself. No matter what happens, no matter how hard or how sian it is... time still passes by.... and soon it will all be over. Even if you get tekan... get punished.... time will not stop.... with every breath you take, it takes you seconds closer to the day everything ends. And this is how I pass everyday... clinging on to the thought that time will never pause.

This may be the last weekend that I can relax myself. After this.... everything will be very packed.... when I go back, I'll be having range for the week, then I book out for a short weekend then have to go back again... but that stay would be long cos it will be the confinement week before the field camp. So I wun be able to book out until 2 weeks later.... but that book out won't be enjoyable as well, cos once I go back. I'll have my sit test.... and its another 3 days of torture.... then.... haiz.... 1 month will pass just like that... and its just another month to go before my POP....

Haiz... oh well... I can't escape it... so.... just have to tell myself... time never stops. The 6th of june is my POP date. It will not change....

K lar... dun talk about army things liao...

Anyway... went for a little family gathering last week and saw my cousin. She told me that mdm lee know about my results :D HAha.... hmm... I think if I have a chance to go back to yj I'll go pay her a visit... haha... but duno when will it be... maybe 2 years later :S haha....

Nothing much liao.... very sian now... haiz... tonight is the last night I'll be sleeping at home before another week later.... I really miss sleeping at home... the kind of feeling is very different. When you wake up in the morning. The monent you open your eyes. You don't see the coldness of the bunk. You feel warm... you know this is your home, your room....

Haiz... I really hate army life...........

I'm really getting very sick of army life.... I feel like I'm just a walking flesh and bone.... a body without a soul.... a zombie....

The past week in there is horrible....

I hope it would be better this week...

thats all for now... bye... going back there in a few hours time...

another week has passed.... now just 10 more weeks left :D Yay! Life was still managable... did countless of push-ups.... nothing much happened this week... did the usual things.... time passed by easily this week.... perhaps cos its only like 4 days in camp.... compared to the initial 14 days of the confinement week....

As time passes by... people make friends... and some make enemies... People start to realise the true character of others.... There was few incident that really make me feel disgusted at the character of some people.... Its very obvious that the person is being very 'wayang' (likes to act very enthu in front of the commander) In front of the commanders they like act very helpful... sometime people slower abit they would help... but back in the bunk they dun even help their own section mates, their section mates have to come over to my section to seek help....

But luckily my section is still fine :) We don't have such people around. Although there is this 1 guy in my bunk that my whole section don't really like. But still, its considered a small problem compared to those people mentioned above. Its just that he's too reliant on others to help him do things and he gives up easily. Take for example... the tying of the rope to the tent pins. I showed him how to tie one already... then without even trying. He pushed all the rest to me and asked me to tie for him.... Another incident was the tying of shoe laces. He asked my friend to tie for him time after time and dosen't make an effort to learn.

Anyway... we still have 10 more weeks to go... so we shall see..... haha...

I haven't been really enjoying this bookout... cos I was down with fever... The peak temperature was 39.5 .... I booked out on friday morning... spent the afternoon sleeping... wake up for dinner and TV then go back to sleep again... the next morning went for interview... after that spent the whole afternoon sleeping again.... Then at night watched some TV and went back to sleep again... Then it sunday already... and I have to go back to tekong soon.... I'm feeling better now... the fever has subsided.... now I have a running nose and a cough....

Lets talk about the interview. I woke up the morning with my fever at the peak of 39.5 .... but still I went for the interview.... I felt like I was almost dying during the MRT ride.... There was one point of time when there is this sudden outburst of sweat.... My whole body suddenly started to sweat alot.... I was feeling very terrible then.... I almost felt like alighting and taking a cab home.... but then after a while... the sweat started to dry up and my fever went down. I felt cool... I guess its my body trying to emergency cooldown my body... After that all was well.. I was feeling more alert already. But then I'm still not in the top condition to go for an interview.

The interview was so so lar.... I dun think I did well... but also not bad either. The interview was a 8 interviewee to 2 professors discussion style. So... I realised that some people are really smoking their way tru... haha... they actually know nothing but act like they know :P There is this discussion about GM and Ford vs the other japanese car companies. Then this girl was like keep saying how good GM and Ford is, how is it uncomparable to the japanese companies... but the professor say that they are facing bankruptcy.... The girl was stunned... lol... Its hilarious to see the expression on her face... haha... then she started to talk cock again to weave another story to get herself out of the shit... lol....

Then there is this other one... The prof was like saying that in business u also need knowledge of some other things as well... Business is not a standalone thing... you could be doing business dealing with engineering stuffs, medical stuffs or many others... Then somehow it leads to the question of the choice of university. Then there is this girl that answered without thinking... yar she agree with the prof.... so she say NUS is a better choice as we get to mingle with students from other faculty.... Then I asked her a question.... Then why are we all here for the interview? Why don't we all go NUS? lol.... She was also stunned... and the prof also started laughing... haha... Some people really nv take time to think before they talk....

After that was essay writing... Wrote a crappy piece of essay.... The question given was... "Tell a friend about your favourite film" ..... After 4 months of not writing any essay.... and given such a question... Its already a great feat to be able to produce something... haha....

So yar.... lets just pray that I can make it ba.... :) Thats all for this week... see ya in another weeks time :) Bye~

Lalala... I'm back :D I'm back!! lol.... so happy... although its only gonna be a short 3.5 days.... but... enjoy it while I can... haha... cos after book in I think things will be a lot worst.... the past 2 weeks were so called adjustment period where no punishment is given... but when we book in.... it will be over.... and.... hell break lose.... lol.... Duno what to expect then.... can only rely on each other for support to endure through it..... So for now... let me enjoy my last few days before I plunge into the depths hell....

For now... lets recall what have I did for the past 2 weeks.... We went through alot... although its only 2 weeks.... 2 weeks in normal civilian life won't get as much things done as 2 weeks in army... There is real difference between the 2 kinds of life.... I'll leave that part till the end ba... so lets start with day 1 now :)

Day 1.... because of losing the registration pin for NUS.... I had to make a trip down to NUS at like 10 in the morning to get a replacement... So yar.... I took a cab there cos I duno the route and I dun want to waste time... So yar... waited for the cab... Once I got up the cab..... the uncle started talking to me.... Or perhaps... he started lecturing me... lol... cos he asked my why was I going there... so I told him that I lost my pin no.... Then he started lecturing me about keeping my things properly and all the stuffs.... Sian right? early in the morning already get scolded.... k lar... actually not scolded... but... the feeling wasn't nice lar... I was already worrying about getting the pin then somemore still have to listen to him.... But anyway.... I just smile smile.... and soon I reach NUS lar.... I got my pin and then took a bus back... cos I was still early and dun need to rush.... After that went to pasir ris to have lunch then went to board the bus to tekong lor.... Nothing much happened..... There was a cock up in the planning.... so my parents miss me taking the oath....

After that we were brought around lor.... tasted the food then my parents have to leave.... After they left... we were issued with the army stuffs.... Then I had to carry the stuffs all the way to my bunk at the 4th floor lor.... It was a tough way up.... I had my civilian bag on one shoulder... field pack on another.... one arm carrying the shoes... another dragging the duffel bag.... Its really like dragging myself all the way up....

After that went to cut hair... thats almost the end of the day le....

Hmm.... then for the subsequent days we had our trainings... and everything.... nothing much to talk about....

About the people there.... my bunk mates were nice :) actually I dun remember who I spoke to or who I get to know first.... Haha... cos that day my head was giddy after dragging all the things up so I can't recognise the faces.... But now.... only after 2 weeks... we seem to have know each other for a long time... we went through the things together and got to know each other very fast....

When I was there... I also saw many kinds of people.... I thought I was already vey bad... cos I dun play sports... always stay indoors and my skin is very far.... But I've seen worst people then me.... haha.... then got some people also very weak.... either they duno how to take care of themselves... or just chao keng.... my platoon the peak no. of people with medical status is 17.... so at one point of the time when we fall in... there is 5 rows of people ( the status people have to stand behind) instead of the usual 3 rows for fall in.... Then there is also this rj guy who brought a violin into camp... lol... but the sergeant ask him to bring it home and not bring it back during book in... haha..... Then I also met a long lost friend... haha.... he was my primary school friend... then we lost contact for 6 years.... then now we are in the same platoon... lol.... its a small world afterall....

Things are going on fine lar.... but I think my platoon is the most blur and most the slowest... so... I have to mentally prepare to suffer when we go back......

Life in there is really different.... for the past hours at home... its so peaceful.... and I kind of feel weird.... For the past 14 days... we were shouted around.... and have to follow a routine.... but now... everything is OTOT ( own time own target) ..... I can just sit down there..... stare into blank space without having to worry about the next order.... There is no one shouting..... no marching sounds.... no vulgarities from the commanders.... Its really very peaceful.... to the extent that I feel weird..... its like I suddenly lose my hearing.... everything is so quiet... the atmosphere is so relax....

But..... nonetheless.... 2 weeks has passed.... There is only 11 weeks left till my bmt is over... Time seems to pass by slow... but it also seems fast too....

What comes after bmt I do not know.... where will I go is also unknown.... Right now I'm only trying my best to pass ippt... perhaps to get into sispec... I'm not making it a target.... I won't go all out to get it..... but I'll just do my best.... if by that time I'm qualified... then its good... if not... I'll still carry on living my life....

Actually... nowadays u keep hearing people talking about target setting.... wad... u must have a target then u will be able to achieve great accomplishments.... but then I have a different idea.... There is actually no need for a target.... Just do your best in everything u do.... because a target may become a barrier for you too.... If you set your target too high... then u will feel demoralised.... if u set your target too low.... then u might slack and miss out other opportunities.... No one can set a target at equilibrium level.... and I really mean NO ONE..... So since we can't set a perfect target... then just don't set it at all.... When you are without a target... you will feel lost.... there is this fear in you.... and fear is a very powerful force.... With fear... you will put in your best to try to escape from this fear....

Using my case as an example... I do not have a target of which course I want to go to in the uni.... So because I don't have a target.... I have this fear inside me... I fear of not doing well enough to qualify for any course I want to take in future.... So how to overcome this fear? The only way is to put in all my effort to score as high as possible.... then I would be safeguarded.... then I will not have to worry about failing to reach the requirements for the course....

Fear is a very powerful negative force... It is much powerful than just wanting to reach a target.... It can drive people to do lots of crazy and extreme things... I believe that you can also quote some examples of such incidents.... But the trick is how to tap on the powerful stream of force and put it to good use....

So yar.... in conclusion.... my point is by removing a target... you will induce a sense of fear in yourself... and then you take this fear to help spur youself to the maximum....

This is only my point of view.... If you are interested you may want to try this method... I just want to share this with you people as I'm getting sick of target setting... During school time we had to set our target for our exams... now in army... we have to set our targets for IPPT....

I'm not saying that target setting does not work... but I just find that without a target... it works better.... You can think for yourself... is the motivation given by wanting something greater than the motivation given by Fearing something.... or is it the other way round....

I'm back.... yay :D lol... Got miss me or not :P Anyway... I'll be back later to blog... gonna get some rest now... bye :)

FUCK IT!!!! The university application is really spoiling my mood.... KNNBCCB.... From the use of vulgarity u will really know how irritated and fustrated I am.... those who know me would know that I dun use these words often...

This time round its really fuck up....

Haiz.... another thing is my enlistment date... That is fucking lousy.... Why half way in the middle of no where.... I can't even have sometime to consider for a course... and when I'm done with the consideration.. I have to report at the fuck up tekong..... no time for me to apply... chee bye sia....

Fuck it... I dun care already... I really have no mood to register now... I've only registered for SMU.... I think I have to compliment SMU for making an effort to make its registration form very user friendly. NUS has the duno what pin that I feaking lost it.... then NTU the form looks Freaking ugly and unfriendly.....

So yar... I'll wait till my book out then I go register for the rest... knnbccb....

I'm gonna sleep now... I dun want to affect my mood when I go tekong.... bye~

Eve of enlistment....

its a jungle(literary) out there.... hope I survive....

Anyway.... think I going smu already :P Haha.... hope that I didn't make a wrong choice of going into the financial sector. Have been wondering for the past days.... Will I be happier if I go into engineering....

But I came to a conclusion. I had enough of science and IT. For the past 12 years of my life... I've been studying science, doing IT. I think thats pretty enough... haha... it's starting to bore me.... Financial sector seems more fun :)

But then... if I go smu I will miss hostel life.... and its pretty far away from my place.... so its gonna be a bit troublesome.... But nvm.... hope that I'll still have a fun time in there :) anyone else going smu? haha...

K lar... thats all for now... wish me luck for NS :) Bye~

My blog look so man now... lol... A new skin marks a new phase in my life. The transition phase is over. I've gone past the transition phase from being a student to being a NS men now...

ARGH!!!!!! Tmr is the very last day I can enjoy myself!!!! Going to army on thursday afternoon.... Haiz.... SIBEH SIAN AR!!!!! ARGH!!!! Duno how life will be in there... lots of uncertainty.... But one thing is for sure... its arn't going to be easy....

Haiz... but whatever comes.... I just hope that I'll go tru it safetly... Safety is the top priority... I've mentally prepared myself to be ordered around.... treated like a piece of shit.... and hopefully can last till BMT I complete my BMT....

No matter what happens... I will do it! I'll always try to remember this saying....

"吃得苦中苦，方为人上人"

Only tru experiencing the bitterness that one can become greater.

sounds abit like trying to console myself... haha.... but... think this is part of the mental preparation ba....

Anyway... I'm looking forward to my bookout day.... if I'm not wrong should be on the 24th. Really duno what will happen in there... but.... I'm sure I'll be able to survive it :) I'm not as weak so some people think.... haha.... I dun have much qualities... but one of my best is my endurance level.... So yar.... :) See ya 2 weeks later :D

meanwhile... miss me yar~ :P

I cried today..... it was a very sad thing.... I do not wish to comment too much as the saying goes... Don't wash ur dirty linen in public. Its a family matter....

Anyway... forget about the sad thing. I'm feeling better now... something funny happened just now... I was at a supermarket to shop NS stuffs.... Then I reach the shampoo section... I spend like 15 minutes there, walking to and fro along the aisle.... wondering which shampoo to buy... cos the one that I use normally don't come in the smaller bottles... Then when I finally decided on what to buy.... Then I finally remembered.... What for??? I won't have any hair for me to shampoo... LOL.... I will be botak in there.... so wads the use for getting a shampoo? Haha... so stupid sia... wasted like 15 mins of my time.... -.-

K lar... still having a headache deciding on the course I want to take... Was thinking of taking the product design one... but.... its super troublesome to apply... I need to get ready a portfolio... a essay on why they should admit me -.- ... somemore a 3 mins video about me.... Super troublesome sia...

Anyway... my other choice would be to take on architecture, then apply for scholarship from URA ( urban redevelopment authority).... haha.... the scholarship look so alluring. Other than the usual paying of school fees.... I would also have a personal URA mentor to guide and support me... lol... that means I dun have to worry too much lar... can get some help when I first step into the working world.... so I wun be blur blur and keep knocking into walls... haha....

Although its a government bond for 4 years.... and government bonds don't really sounds nice... but... I think it dosen't matter much to me lar... 4 years isn't too long a time. and i dun think I would want to break the bond... unless I'm super underpaid... or I get head hunted for another company :P

K lar.. thats all for today... bye :)

I'm feeling very confused now.... Had a talk with ej about myself.... It seems that I am shutting myself out from other people. Its really bothering me....

hmm.... how to start.... k lar.... lets quote an example.... Take the most recent event... my A lvls result.... I think most of you might have known my result already lar... AAA and B3.... It is supposed to be a very happy thing.... but somehow I do not feel the joy.... I am shutting out all my happiness from the others around me... I'm keeping my happiness all to myself... I am not sharing my happiness..... That is why I am not happy.... there is no one to share my success with....

So why am I doing this? Because I am worried about what others think of me. I care too much about what others think.... This is why I do not dare to share my happiness.... I fear that when I initiate the talk about my result with others, and when others didn't do as well.... They would think that I am showing off..... That is why I do not initiate to ask others about their result.... I'm scared that people might think 'yar lar.... u 3 As... hao lian lar.... ' Or maybe when others reply they didn't do as well... then perhaps I say, 'nvm lar, u did your best' Then people might think... ' of cos nvm lar, its not u who get such results....'

You know... sometime I wonder... would I be happier if I get a lousier grade? Then I can go around asking people their grades..... then when people reply they didn't do well... then I can say... same same lar... or perhaps when people do better, then I can reply good lar..... You know... then I wouldn't have to carry the burden.... I would perhaps feel better since there are people around to share the joy with....

Then ej was like saying.... Don't think that what others think is always right and push all the blame on myself. If others think that I am showing off.... they are just jealous of me. And its not my fault... it is them who are in the wrong for thinking this way....

I've been thinking alot about what he said..... It makes sense.... but somehow I can't shut the thoughts out of my mind....

I just recalled something I saw on tv... its a biography of Hans Christian Anderson... a famous writer of children books. There is this thing that the teacher of anderson said.... There is this fine line between being imagniative and going crazy. And Anderson is at the brim of his imagination. And more of it, the cup will overflow and he will go crazy.... that is why the teacher bars him from writing anymore books at one time. Because if he continues to write and imagine, he would go crazy.....

I am very worried about myself.... am I already thinking too much? You know I have insomia problems just because I can't stop thinking about things. Every night when I lie on my bed preparing to sleep. Things just keeps flashing through my mind. I have to force my mind to go blank every night.... Sometime I really feel like going to a psychiatrist to seek help.... I really dun want to carry on thinking too much..... I fear that the line might snap if this carries on....

Hmm... I guess the first step is to slowly realise the fact that what others think may not always be right. Actually... I've already been trying very hard. Since I got my chance to start anew in jc... I've changed the way I look and deal with things.... But I guess it still isn't enough.... Right now... I have yet another chance to start over again. NS.... I really hope by then I would really have overcome this problem.

Anyway... I would like to thank the few people whom have been around to share my joy. I didn't hold back from you all because I believe that you all know the actual me.... I'm really grateful to these people because without them.... I really won't feel happy at all even though I get such a result.

First and foremost, my aunt.... She has been a great support... showering me with compliments and encouragement. She is the one the recognise my effort.....

Next would be my grandmother. She is also there for me when I came home, and spent the time talking to me... hearing me brag about my result....

After which is my cousin. She called my almost immediately after I got my result.

Following that would be my friends.... especially those whom I've been around with for these 2 days.... Kerling, Eng jin and chou chun... Also to all those whom came to congratulate me....

But I am very sad to say..... I'm not really happy about my parent's reaction. Especially my mom.... They just have no idea how well I did. I've explained that I am among the top few in my school already.... but then they just couldn't see it. My mom just compared me just now with all the super scholars, getting like 8 or 9 As in a report in the newspaper.... You know how bad I felt or not... Hey.... arn't I doing enough.... Those super scholars are just way beyond me..... It would be indeed a miracle for me to beat them.... How can I be compared with them? Don't they know that there are still hundreds more that can only envy my result? I can forget about them not giving me any compliments.... but hey.... don't put me down okay....

Haiz... so yar... I'm really grateful to have the 4 groups of people that I have mentioned in the past paragraphs... Without them... my As would be meaningless.... Thank you.....

I promise I would really try hard not to think too much. Actually... I would also wish to thank ej too for bringing this matter up today.... It gives me a reminder that there is still alot more that I can do to improve. Thanks....

With that I'll end this entry.....

WOHO!!!! So happy :D Haha.... K lar....

Disclaimer: I know the following will seem to be a little bit hao lian... but well... since this is my blog and I can't hao lian in real life... so let me just hao lian here lor... Haha.... So if u think u might not want to read the following, then do skip this entry :)

K... I start liao ar...

WOHO!!!! LOL!!!! AAA B3!!!! I never expect that I would to so well!!!! lol.... All my maths, physics and econs got an A, then english can also get a B3 :D :D :D...... LOL... really didn't expect it... All I was hoping for is just be a normal student... go school get result... if not too bad then happy liao.... but then... LOL... this is a very big surprise.... Cos yar.... even though I was already expecting As for my maths and physics.... I didn't expect myself to get it for econs as well.... Cos that time if u have read my entry.... I thought I screwed up my essay section... which has the highest weightage among all the other section... That time I know that what I wrote wasn't going to make it cos the standard was still lousy, the preparation that I did for it was all wasted as I didn't get to use it.... U know that time I felt so bad... especially because mr syn called the group of us together and said that he was relying on us to get the As for him.... so when I knew I wasn't going to do well... I felt bad because I'm not up to his expectation.... So yar... I was expecting a C for it.... in the best scenario a B.... but never did I imagine that I could get a A for it! lol...

The school actually called me this morning, asking me to go to school earlier and meet at the conference room. I asked them wad is it and they didn't want to tell me, they just say its good news.... So I thought maybe I did well for the exam... but then I thought again... how could it be? cos I knew I had screwed up my essay.... When I reached school.... went up to the conference room... then I finally accepted that fact that I really did well..... haha.....

After that we were dismissed and went to the hall lor.... we were supposed to go up the stage and collect our result slip from the principle.... LOL.... I was really nervous then.... When I took the photo with the principle... my leg was shivering!!! lol.... then facial expression is like frozen... but I still forced myself to smile at the camera... haha.... I was really really nervous then :S BUt after that... everything is fine :) I saw my result slip... and this is a confirmation that I really did well :D

After that went to look for the other guys in my class lor... received some congrats from them, other classmates and my teachers :) Then me kerling and cc went for high tea? haha.... perhaps dinner lar... then shop around for some army stuffs. then thats about it lar.....

Okay... here are some expectations from my teachers and my reply to them :)

Firstly... mr syn... haha... yay!!! I've done it :D I've earned an A for you :D I would like to thank you for marking our essays... especially those around the prelims.... can tell that u really put in effort to mark all the essays that we submitted to you :) Thanks :)

Secondly... ms lim! haha.... my GP also not too bad lar :) U told me during the meet the parent session that u want my GP result to be in the top5 of the class.... so I think the result should be enough lar... haha....

Thirdly.... mrs kwang!!!! haha.... U want be to get an A, I got it! Haha... I think she remembered me and said that to me because that time I went to her and say that I dun want to attend the mock test that she gave us, saying that I'm tired, and I would want to study on my own at night after I get some rest during the afternoon.... Haha.... I was the only one who came up to her and want to skip her lesson lar... so maybe thats why she remembers me.... so on another day... I met her and she said... boon kiat... must get me an A ar.... haha.... I think she must be thinking.... 'u skip my lesson and study on ur own.... so u better get an A to save ur face...' haha.... duno if she is really thinking that way lar... but... this is what I assumed her to be thinking based on the situation then lar... haha.... So yar.... hey mrs kwang... I did it :D

This following teacher... hmm... didn't expect me to get a A... he estimated a C for me... Haha... and he is mr leong... lol.... and I scored beyond his estimation :D yay! Haha.....

K lar... well... I didn't let any teacher down... and the more important part is... I didn't let myself down....

Actually come to think of it... I deserve this result lar... after all I really put in effort to study this time.... I tried so many studying methods... forced myself to study..... and I finally made it :)

Hmm... thats all lar :) I would like to congratulate those whom did well :D For those whom didn't. Don't it it bother you too much, there are still many other routes in life that you can take, this isn't a dead end. :) All the best to everyone in their future endeavours :D

www.litbud.com unofficially launched!!!!!!!!! WOHO!!!!!

Yay... finally can take a break already :D The framework for the site is up... From now on its only minor updates and the addition of content :D HAha.... so yar... can take it easy already.... Haiz.... it hasn't been easy developing this site.... I put in alot of effort this time round... I think this is a work that I've placed the most effort in....

I've put in the entire month to set it up.... I have never done this before. I dun have much patience... so most of my work at just done in 4 hours... beyond that... I will get sick of it and stop doing it... but this time round... I'm also surprised that I can last so long... actually.... one month is almost at my limit already.... I'm feeling very tired and sick of it now... so if this site is still not ready by now... I'm gonna stop very soon....

I was reading computerArts mag... then there is this interview with a design studio... It was quoted that the people spend 3 months.... drank over a thousand cans of red bull... and 2 mental breakdowns.... on a project.... And there is this mercedes advert on tv.... One phrase says "can (duno how much) sleepness nights make a more comfortable ride." All these are highlighting the work and effort the people put in in the things they do.

I'm fortunate enough to only have spend 1 month on this.... and had only 1 mental breakdown... Haha.... I really broke down halfway through the process.... It was a time where I got mental block.... and I got so stressed that I had migraine almost everyday.... But... :) thats finally over.... I got inspired somehow someday... and things starts to flow again.... And I believe that my sleepless night is due to me sleeping too much... not because of my work... haha....

So yar... I really hope that this site would be a success and my effort will not go to waste :)

K lar.... so after reading this entry... faster go visit my site :D I give u the link here okay! www.litbud.com Just click on it :D Remember to bookmark it too :)